• dear wendy

Dear Wendy Updates: “Offended Bridesmaid” Responds

Wendy AtterberryApril 4, 2011 //

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Offended Bridesmaid” whose sister, the bride, chastised her for not being skinny enough to fit into her bridesmaid dress. Offended Bridesmaid explained that she was worried she might have a thyroid problem, to which her sister responded: “I know your eating habits — you just eat too much.” After the jump, find out how the two sisters are doing today. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Leave My Boyfriend Behind?”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 30, 2011 //
Dump My BF Before College?
Dear Wendy helps a reader who is on the fence. Read More »

I am a 21-year-old college student, graduating this spring. I was recently accepted to an Ivy League institution to pursue my graduate degree, and I have never been more excited! However, I have a boyfriend of over six years, who really wants to follow me to graduate school. At first, this seemed like a great idea. I am very happy that he supports me and we have a very strong relationship. However, he does not have a lot of ambition. While I will be going for a graduate degree, he failed out of college and has not really shown any interest in going back. He is currently a cook, and would be able to get a job pretty easily if we move. He has also talked about other labor jobs or bartending. Another concern is that he has never lived anywhere but with his parents. I have been on my own for four years. I am worried that he’ll find it difficult to live away from home. On the other hand, I think it would be a great opportunity for him to move to a city where there are many more opportunities for him. Considering all of this, I am also concerned about myself. I want to be able to take advantage of this opportunity to attend an Ivy League institution to the fullest. I do love him, and I don’t want to lose him, but I am really unsure if he should come along with me, or if I should essentially leave him behind. I don’t want to have any regrets. What do you think I should do? — Off to an Ivy

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Doesn’t Use Pot Holders” Responds

Wendy AtterberryMarch 28, 2011 //
Dating Good Guys
boyfriend photo
Not every woman wants to date an a-hole. Read More »
How To Be Romantic...
...without being creepy! Read More »
Dater X
dating photo
Ten things Dater X did right as a single girl. Read More »

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Doesn’t Use Pot Holders,” who wrote in because her boyfriend’s sister, whom he shared an apartment with, hated her. After the jump, find out if the sister managed to wreck the relationship and how everyone is doing today. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Our Friend Is Engaged To A Psycho!”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 23, 2011 //
Celeb Couples Who Got "Pre-Engaged"
Six celeb couples who got "pre-engaged." Did they actually get married? 6 Photos »
Selling Engagement Ring?
engagement ring photo
Should Amelia sell her engagement ring? Read More »

My husband’s best friend “Bill” is engaged to marry his fiancee “Erin” this June. Last night, he told me about a fight Bill and Erin recently had that really concerns me. Erin feels very threatened by pornography and forbids Bill from looking at it because she considers it cheating. When she moved in, she destroyed his porn collection. A couple of weeks ago, Erin found a porn site in the web history on their shared computer and proceeded to compile evidence of Bill visiting porn sites. The same week, Erin found a cabinet with a locked door while Bill was at work; she pried it open to discover a set of porn DVDs. She called Bill and calmly stated that they “needed to talk.” When Bill got home that night, Erin immediately brought out the DVDs, began screaming and snapped the DVDs in his face. She then threatened to seriously damage his vehicle, began throwing things and ultimately punched him in the face. Erin truly expects Bill to never be sexually excited by the image of another woman and feels that he needs counseling for his “porn addiction.” The violence is obviously upsetting, and their inability to have an open dialogue sets the stage for future conflicts. My husband is generally the type to mind his own business, but I feel that he needs to urge Bill to seek counseling with Erin and seriously rethink the wedding if she refuses to go. What would you do if you were a friend of theirs? — Smells Trouble

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Weight Issues” Responds

Wendy AtterberryMarch 21, 2011 //
10 People Who Are Famous For Losing Weight
Their claim to fame is their weight loss. 9 Photos »
14 Celebrity Weight Loss Spokeswomen
These celebs have pushed weight loss products. 3 Photos »

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Weighty Issues,” whose long-distance boyfriend told her that while she had a pretty face, her weight had started bothering him. “I have dropped some weight since I’ve first known him,” she wrote, “and currently wear S-M shirts, US size 8 in pants.” She went on to say: “I sometimes want to end the relationship because of this and because he doesn’t seem to be as attached as I am, but a part of me wants to see what happens next year.” Well, it’s now “next year,” so after the jump, find out what she decided to do. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Warn My Friend About His Cheating Ex?”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 16, 2011 //

I found out recently that my friend “Samanatha” cheated on her ex-boyfriend “Brad” when they were still dating. When I asked Samantha about it, she immediately denied it, but I’ve known her long enough to tell she was lying. Plus, the guy she slept with has absolutely no reason to lie to me about it. She and Brad are now broken up, but when he’s in town he stays at her place and they sleep together. She’s cheated on him in the past with a different guy and Brad forgave her. It was one of those things that’s understandable (while totally not right) because Samantha’s mom told her that if she wasn’t engaged she could have more than one boyfriend. It’s common knowledge that Samantha is completely hung up on Brad still and will take any chance to get back together with him. We’re talking saying things like “I’ll wear him down one day and we’ll just get married.” Brad is a really nice but passive guy. Plus, he doesn’t want to lose the guaranteed sex. The chance of them getting back together is fairly high, so I’m wondering if I should tell Brad now about the cheating, wait to see if they get back together, or just keep quiet? Brad is like a brother to me and I don’t like seeing him get hurt over and over again. — Trying Not to Meddle

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Excited But Lost” Responds (Again)

Wendy AtterberryMarch 14, 2011 //

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Excited But Lost,” who we first heard from last August when she was eager to start dating after being diagnosed bipolar a year and a half earlier and working on managing her disorder and getting her life on track. She updated us with some not-so-good news in November, but has a new update for us now with much better news, after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Tired Of Always Feeling Used By Guys”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 9, 2011 //

I am a 21-year-old female college senior who has been physically involved with a guy for about three months. In the beginning, he told me how he thought I was “girlfriend material” and made it seem like he wanted to pursue a relationship, but after a few weeks, it became clear to me that all he wanted from me was sex. I allowed this arrangement to continue, because with my busy class and work schedule, I don’t really have much time for a relationship either. All of a sudden, over the past couple of days, he has completely ignored me, started posting things on Facebook about having had an “epiphany” and realizing what the “true meaning of love is.” I texted him saying that it was OK if he had met someone new or if he just did not want to sleep with me anymore, but that I would have liked to have been made aware of this (reasonable, no?). But alas, he has not responded. I truly am happy for him if he has found someone new, because there really is no future for us, but I feel disrespected. I am also in the place I always find myself after something like this happens: depressed, lonely, and my self-esteem is crushed. Do you have any advice for me as to how I can deal with this kind of situation in the future so that I don’t feel so used? — Used up

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Conflicted About Moving” Responds

Wendy AtterberryMarch 7, 2011 //

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Conflicted About Moving,” whose boyfriend dumped her after she quit her job to move with him. Luckily, she was able to get her job back, but her boyfriend reunited with her and asked her to quit her job again to move for her. “He’s suggesting I leave a resignation letter the day of and never return, but that’s just not my style.” she wrote. “Is it fair to quit my job twice within a week’s time? What would you do?” I told her to dump the guy of course, and after the jump, you’ll find out whether she followed my advice and how she’s doing now. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Not Sure I Want To Marry My Fiancé”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 2, 2011 //

I’m 22 years old and my fiancé is 25. We are supposed to get married this October, but I’m having second thoughts. We’ve been together for over five years and were neighbors growing up. We both dropped out of college, but I have always held down a full-time job, whereas he got laid off and spent a whole year unemployed. I feel like I have a lot of resentment towards him because he had no excuse to not find a job. He didn’t have the ‘drive’ or ‘ambition’ that I wanted him to have. Since last June, he’s been a truck driver, a job that requires him to be gone sometimes a week at a time or longer with only one or two days home. Also, he still lives at home, and the thought of him being so dependent on his parents bothers me. A little over two years ago, he was really wanting to get married, but I kept telling him I wanted to wait until I was at least 21 so I could legally drink at our wedding. I think I was just making an excuse. He proposed after I turned 21, and some days I’m so happy to be engaged to him and some days I’m not. In addition to our other issues, our sex life is not okay. He always wants to have sex and I hardly ever do. I don’t really know why I don’t because he isn’t bad, but I just feel like I’m not attracted to him anymore. He is the only relationship I have ever been in and I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to ‘settle’ either. I want to talk to him about it but I don’t want to hurt him. I guess now that we’re paying down payments for venues, buying a wedding gown and setting up classes with my pastor, getting married is hitting me. I don’t want to be a divorce statistic. — Cold Feet

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