Tag Archives: dear wendy

Dear Wendy: “I Keep Thinking About Cheating”

I have been seeing my boyfriend for the past eight months. I would describe our relationship so far as “perfect.” We rarely argue and when we do it is settled within minutes. He is so caring and actually talks to me about his feelings and wants to know the way I feel about a lot things that really do matter. Our relationship has no drama whatsoever and we are perfectly happy. The thing is, I have been known to cheat on my ex-boyfriends in the past. He does not know this nor ever will, and I have no urge to cheat on my current boyfriend whatsoever.

However, my job recently made me relocate to a different location for six months. We both agreed to stay together during this time and so far it has been great but I’m finding myself thinking about being with other men. When I see men I think to myself, “If I wanted him, I could probably have him.” I am realizing these are the exact thoughts I was thinking when I would cheat on my exes. I don’t understand why I feel this way. I know I love my boyfriend and would never ever cheat on him but how do I keep myself from having these thoughts? Is this something all people in a relationship think about but just never say anything? — Once a Cheater

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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Lies About His Porn Viewing”

I’ve been with my boyfriend — my first boyfriend — for almost two years now. I am away from home at school, only an hour and half drive away, and we see each other every weekend. He stays with me when he comes to visit. Recently the past couple of times he has come to visit, he uses my computer while I am away for class for a couple hours. At this recent account, I came back to my room and noticed that the floor was a little damp in a certain area right next to his chair. I asked him what happened and he said he spilled something. Later after he left, I was on my computer and up popped up porn sites. Then it dawned on me that he had not spilled something on the floor … if you know what I mean … So, I checked my history and found even more porn sites. According to the timeline of the days’ events, I know he looked at this right after I left for class, so right when he woke up and got out of bed.

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Dear Wendy: “It’s Been Five Years And My Boyfriend Still Won’t Propose!”

I’m a 27-year-old female, and I’ve been with my 31-year-old boyfriend for over five years now. We have made a happy and loving life together, including sharing a home, sharing our finances, being closely involved with each other’s families, and we even have two cats and a puppy together. About a year ago we started talking seriously about getting engaged within the next six months, but by the time fall rolled around, my boyfriend told me that though he loves me and wants nothing more than a future with me, he was just not ready for an engagement yet. He had some issues from his parents’ divorces, and decided to begin counseling to deal with them.

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Dear Wendy: “I Created A Fake Boyfriend On Facebook To Make My Ex Jealous”

I’m a 39 year-old woman and I broke up with my boyfriend of three months about two weeks ago. We broke up on bad terms; I had a hunch he was cheating because he suddenly, for no reason, hid everything on his Facebook page. I told him I didn’t trust him, and he basically said that we should just be friends. I was crushed and haven’t contacted him, but I knew he was still my friend on Facebook and would see my posts. So … I decided to invent a fake boyfriend. I created a fake Facebook identity, complete with fake friends and even a fake profile picture and then basically “friended” myself. Over the past week, the fake boyfriend posted things on my wall and asked me out on dates, all for the purpose of making my ex jealous! Then I changed my relationship status to “In a Relationship.” Well, my ex saw that and sent me a message saying if I was trying to hurt him, he didn’t really know me. Then he unfriended me.

I thought that if it looked like I had a boyfriend, it would seem like he didn’t mean that much to me. I wanted to hurt him, but now I feel even worse. I am totally ashamed that I would do something so petty and juvenile. How do I fix this situation? Should I just leave my ex alone and move on? Should I admit what I did and apologize? I’m really not a crazy person; I was just hurt and now I really regret behaving like a twelve year old! — Regretting Fake Facebook Status

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Dear Wendy: “Should I Dump My Boyfriend Before I Start College?”

I’m an eighteen year old girl about to start college. I’ve had a boyfriend for a year and I’ve really enjoyed our time together. He was my first boyfriend, therefore he is very special to me and basically all I have ever known. Very soon, we will be about two hours apart during college. This is hard for me to even fathom because we see each other almost every day. He has become a best friend to me, and I just don’t know what to do without him. On the other hand, I am interested in dating other people. A part of me wants to see what is out there and have new experiences, but I am so afraid I will make the wrong choice and be unhappy without him. I can’t even picture him with another girl — the feeling makes me a jealous monster. I honestly feel stuck. What should I do? — College Conundrum

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Dear Wendy: “Should My Boyfriend And I Move To A Third World Country Together?”

I’m 21 and have been offered the opportunity to work in a rural area of a third world country. I will be doing something not very glamorous — necessary work for the project, but not the most exciting thing ever. I am very ambivalent as to whether I should accept it — I don’t speak the language, have no particular ties to this country, and am unsure if I would enjoy this opportunity. However, it would be a different experience and very unique. I would appreciate your level-headed thinking on this matter. In addition, I have a boyfriend of over two years. We have a great relationship and love each other deeply. He has offered to move to this country with me. He has few things tying him to our current location and has also expressed that he would be willing to follow me to other areas of the continental U.S., etc. My question is: is this a good idea? My heart says yes. It would ease my mind greatly if we didn’t have to worry about the long-distance relationship factor. I’ve mentioned potential obstacles, but he brushes it off as, basically, it doesn’t matter; he wants to be with me. What do you think? If I take this opportunity, I would want him to come, but I’m worried about what might happen. What if he hates it? What if he can’t find a job? I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to see him all that often. Please help! — First World Dilemma

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