Tag Archives: dear wendy

Dear Wendy Updates: “Ben’s Girlfriend” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Ben’s Girlfriend, who wrote to me way back in September just a few weeks after I started this column. Hers was one of the very first letters I posted and I was so new at this whole advice columnist thing, I hadn’t even started giving letter writers monikers yet, so it’s only now that I’m naming her “Ben’s Girlfriend.” Anyway, she wrote in because she was getting serious mixed messages from her “bestie,” Ben, whom she’d had an on-off romantic relationship with. On one hand, he took her on family vacations with him and told her she was beautiful, but on the other hand, he’d sleep with her in the same bed and not so much as kiss her. I told her I thought Ben might be gay and using her as a beard. This outraged many readers who said things like, “Oh, just because a guy doesn’t want to sleep with a girl, he must be gay?!” So … is Ben gay? Did his friend/girlfriend cut her losses and move on? Or, are they a real item now? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Sister Is Dating My Ex!”

I’m 33 years old, and recently, my high school sweetheart, Michael, who I dated for almost two years and lost my virginity to, found me on Facebook. After much thought I finally hit the accept button to his friend request. I figured it’s been 15 years, we’re both grown adults now and yes, part of me wanted him to see just how fabulous I turned out. The problem is, Michael has also friended my sister, who was an 11-year-old ugly duckling when we dated in high school, but has definitely blossomed since then. It turns out, they went out to dinner the other night and my sister finds him “very interesting and good looking.” I told her I feel weird about them dating, and I swear if she wasn’t my sister I would have told her where to go the minute this happened. She could be “talking” to any of my exes and I would feel the same exact way I’m feeling now. It’s called the Girl Code and she needs to respect it. The number one rule of the Girl Code is to never date your close friends’ exes, so I think this applies double if it’s your sister. When I tell people about this situation, everyone thinks it’s wrong. Well, everyone but my sister and her friends. They say I shouldn’t have a problem with it since I’ve been happily married for 13 years and that it was over a decade ago when we were teenagers. So, who is right!? It it wrong that I still believe in the Girl Code? — Girl Code Believer

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Is Too Broke To Take Me Out For My Birthday”

I’m 25 and have been dating a 28-year-old guy for seven months. He’s really fun, sweet, and a generous lover (he won’t be done until he’s gotten me off at least twice!). We recently said the L word — which was HUGE for him because he’s never said it before in a relationship. The issue is he’s a freelance music engineer, and basically earns only enough to make rent and go to a bar here and there — nothing extra. Last week was my birthday and he was going to take me out to a restaurant, but he didn’t make enough at the pawn shop to afford it. Later in the week he manages to make $20, so he goes out to buy pot with it. I’m all, “What about dinner?” And he says, “Well, it wasn’t enough to get food anyway,” and leaves it at that. Then, last night, I ask him about the jobs he said he was applying for and he point-blank says, “I’m not looking.” I ask why and he says he likes his freedom and “makes enough” freelancing, which is true, he does — for himself. So basically, I’m dating a grown man who lives with younger guys in a frat house-type setting and can’t afford to take his girlfriend out to dinner for her 25th birthday. I don’t want to tell him to get a job or I’m leaving him because he’s treating me well, but I’m worried about what kind of future I can have with him. What’s your outside perspective? — Blinded by Love

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Poor House” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Poor House, whose live-in boyfriend makes $15K more than she does, but refuses to contribute more to rent, limiting their housing options considerably. “I have asked him to consider contributing more for rent — not a lot, just a little more — and he kind of laughed at the suggestion and said, ‘I don’t think so.’ I wouldn’t even have asked him, but our lease is up soon, and all we’re finding to move into is sub-par.” She wondered if she should be concerned about his attitude or just “chalk it up to him wanting to save for their future.” So, did she get him to agree to contribute more to rent? Is she still concerned about his attitude? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Kids Get On My Nerves”

I’ve been with my boyfriend now for four years and I love being with him; we get a long very well, especially considering our 20-year age difference. My problem lies in the fact that he has two children (12 and 9) who I love as if they were my own. They are living with us for the summer and MAN are they getting on my nerves. I feel like I have no space, all my stuff is moved around, no food is ever in the fridge and worst of all, all they want to do is play with me! I mean it’s great that they love me and accept me in their lives and all but I’m starting to resent them. Usually, I spend most of my time trying to make them happy, but now that they are here all the time I want to scream. Also, it puts a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend because he’s so easy-going with them that I feel like the bad guy all the time. My biggest dilemma with this situation is I thought I had always wanted a baby of my own, especially after meeting them. But now my boyfriend keeps bringing up the fact that maybe I’m not the right person to have kids if I complain about them. I’m so torn! I have even considered breaking up with him — despite thinking I’d marry him — just because of the this kid issue. I feel like I just can’t trust myself! — Parent Trap

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Was My Boyfriend’s First. Will He Leave Me To Experiment?”

I’m 24 and my boyfriend of two years is 25. When we began dating he told me he had slept with his long-term ex-girlfriend before we got together, and I told him that I had slept with my ex-boyfriend. After we had been having sex for a couple months, he confessed that he had actually been a virgin when he first slept with me, explaining that his ex wanted to wait until marriage. After the initial shock wore off, I understood he was embarrassed about it, and eventually forgave him for lying. However, now that things are getting serious, I’m worried that if we get married he will always regret not sleeping with someone other than me. I discussed my concerns with him, and he explained that he had plenty of opportunities to have sex before he met me, but he isn’t comfortable having one-night-stands, and wouldn’t have sex with someone who wasn’t his girlfriend. This negates the possibility of us breaking up for a short period of time so he can have his fun and come back to me, and means that I would have to break up with him and wait for him to find someone, build a relationship, have sex, and have the relationship fail (or maybe not!). I’m not willing to wait years for him to do all of this just so he can get another notch on his belt. Is it really possible he will be happy having the same partner his whole life? — Cherry Popper

Keep reading »

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular