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Dear Wendy: “Our Wedding’s In 2 Weeks, But My Fiancé Is Still Thinking About His Ex”

Wendy AtterberryOctober 31, 2011 //

"I've been having doubts about my boyfriend..." Read More »

Dear Wendy

"Should I give up my prestigious school for my boyfriend?" Read More »

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I’m getting married to an amazing guy in two weeks. We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years, and we’ve been long distance for about a year now. We only manage to see each other every few months for about two weeks as we live in separate countries but we’ve been handling the distance remarkably well. I am completely and overwhelmingly in love with this guy. But here’s what happened: I went on his Facebook (I randomly sign on when I’m exceptionally bored, which he knows I do) the morning after his his bachelor party and I saw that while he was pretty drunk (he was texting me around the same time, so I know) he sent a message to his ex-girlfriend of four years, giving her his number and telling her to call him anytime. Now, this is a girl that he was very much in love with, and it took him a really long time to get over her … at least, I thought he was over her. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Enough Money”

Wendy AtterberryOctober 25, 2011 //

Your Turn

"Should I choose the rich guy or the nice guy?" Read More »

"He Proposed!"

"Now, how can I avoid him?" Read More »

Dear Wendy

"There's no passion -- should I MOA?" Read More »

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half. For the most part we have a good relationship. He gets me like no one else does and he is always there for me. However, we are at completely different places in our lives. I’m 30 and have a good job with the federal government, a masters degree and have traveled all over the world with my job. He is 31, divorced with two kids, and works more of a blue collar job as a Chef/Line Cook. He absolutely loves his job but it just doesn’t pay much and it’s more of a work-your-way-up job. Instead of finishing college, my boyfriend actually did a good thing and got married young when is girlfriend got pregnant. The two had another child throughout their 7-year marriage but eventually divorced. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Won’t Quit Working With His Ex!”

Wendy AtterberryOctober 20, 2011 //

I decided to take a break from a six months relationship with my boyfriend. We did not establish any term or rules regarding the break, and he didn’t ask me how long the break would be. He said that he wished I would have told him the reasons for the break earlier as he would have done something about it. The reason for the break is that he sees his ex-girlfriend at work every day. He admits that this is a problem and that if it were the other way around (me working with my ex) it would bother him as well. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Being A Bridesmaid Is Breaking My Budget!”

Wendy AtterberryOctober 18, 2011 //

A friend of mine from high school asked me in December to be one of her bridesmaids in her July wedding. I was surprised she asked me, particularly because while we were close in our teens, she was usually too busy with her now-fiance´ to catch up or respond to me when I was visiting our hometown. We talk occasionally and I know she does not have many female friends and considering how close we once were, I said yes. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Thinks I’m Too Opinionated”

Wendy AtterberryOctober 11, 2011 //

Dear Wendy...

"My fiance refuses to help pay for birth control!" Read More »

Dear Wendy...

"I started a Facebook family feud." Read More »

I’ve been seeing my guy, “Joe,” for four months, and it’s been great! But last night on the phone, he started talking about a TV personality who I don’t like, and I said “He’s such a fraud and an asshole.” Immediately, Joe goes silent (his reaction when I say something he doesn’t like, I’m noticing) and I asked what the problem was. He said I invalidated his opinion with mine, and that I do it all the time, and it’s getting to the point where he doesn’t know if he can “do this” anymore because I talk to people in such a way that makes them not want to talk to me. He proceeds to explain this about 30 different ways over the course of the next hour, and I started to cry. As I’m crying on the phone, he says, “It’s obvious you’re upset. Maybe you can try to talk to people in such a way that isn’t so aggressive and opinionated.” He followed that up by telling me that his friends have even pointed out how opinionated and dismissive I am, so he knows what he’s saying is valid. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Fiancé Won’t Get Rid Of His Old Wedding Pictures!”

Wendy AtterberryOctober 4, 2011 //

Yikes!

"I found nude photos of his ex -- and showed them to her." Read More »

His Take

"Should I remain friends with my ex?" Read More »

My fiancé and I have been together for three years and we’re getting married this June. His first marriage, which was a disaster and only lasted six months, ended six years ago. They were together on-and-off for a total of seven years, and I have heard absolute horror stories (from his family, close friends, even the girl’s best friend) about her — drugs, cheating, etc.

My problem is that I found a decent amount of their wedding pictures in a storage box in one of our closets, which shocked and hurt me. When I told him this, he said he would trash them, but he never did (in his “defense,” he’s a pat rack and has a hard time throwing anything out). So when a couple girlfriends came over not too long ago to get boozy while he was out, we totally went through the pictures and I ripped up a few of them while they egged me on. I thought I would be super pissed when looking at them, but he literally didn’t have a smile on his face in a single picture. They were horrible and forced looking (he’s told me the wedding was bad). Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Mother Controls His Life”

Wendy AtterberrySeptember 30, 2011 //

More Dear Wendy

"Should I talk to my boyfriend's daughter about puberty?" Read More »

“David” and I have been together two years and we’ve been close friends longer than that. I have grown to love and care about him very much. We’ve even talked about marriage, but we’re waiting until we’re a bit older to make an official decision. Right now, my biggest concern is David’s family. See, David’s parents are divorced and have both remarried. I absolutely adore his fathers side, who are fun and loving and accepting of David. However, he’s only over there every other weekend because of the divorce. Otherwise, he lives with his mother who doesn’t treat him with respect that a son deserves. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Did I MOA Too Soon?”

Wendy AtterberrySeptember 26, 2011 //

For the past couple of months, I have been flirting with a co-worker who was very shy at first, but took an interest in my hobbies, complimented me every day, gave me pet names, and generally seemed very interested. After a month and a half, he finally asked me for my number and I kind of “helped him along” by asking when he could hang out. I was so excited about our date, but he canceled last minute for a legitimate reason and asked if we could reschedule. Even though he stopped by my office to flirt and chat the next week, he never rescheduled but asked what I was doing that weekend and seemed upset and walked away when I said that I was spending time with a male friend. When I told him my friend was gay, he perked up and kept the conversation going, and I told him to call me if he wanted to hang out and he said he would.

Well, he never called or texted to say that he wouldn’t be available, but first thing Monday morning he asks if I was feeling better (I had been sick the week before), told me I looked nice, and apologized for not calling because he (being the nice guy) ended up helping a friend move. I gave him the cold shoulder. I am so confused about the inconsistency between his flirtatious interest and his non-committal attitude toward getting to know me more that I deleted his number, defriended him on Facebook, and haven’t been speaking to him. He looks very sad when I see him, but I feel like I may have read him wrong this whole time and am afraid that he’s only been nice because he doesn’t know how to say no to me. Did I give up too soon or should I just MOA? — Office Crush(ed)

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Dear Wendy: “I Have Feelings For My Friend’s Crush”

Wendy AtterberrySeptember 22, 2011 //

Through one of my close friends I met this guy. We quickly became friends and now hang out with the same group of people. His sense of humor is the same as mine and we also see eye-to-eye on many topics. He’s made it clear that he would be interested in a relationship and I think if we started dating, we would work well together. There’s just one thing stopping me, and that is the friend who introduced us. Not that long ago she mentioned that she’s interested in him and has been for a few years. When I think of the two of them together, I do think they would be a good match as well, BUT I don’t realistically see them getting together. It’s worth mentioning that she knows he’s interested in me, but has no idea of my true feelings for him. I’m having a hard time deciding if I should take the chance with the guy and more than likely damage my friendship with her with no guarantee that the relationship will last, or just forget about him and find someone who none of my friends are into. What do you think? — Feelings for Friend’s Crush

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Dear Wendy: “Should I Ask Him Directly If He Loves Me?”

Wendy AtterberrySeptember 15, 2011 //

By boyfriend and I have been together two years. About six months ago, I finally said “I love you,” deciding that if I didn’t say it first he never would. I am still waiting for him to say it back and I’m rather conflicted about the whole thing. First, we are very happy despite some bumps we hit early in the relationship. When I met him, he was completely emotionally unavailable and he has taken incredible steps toward being a better partner for me — changes that I had never even dared to ask for since you and so many others have always said “You can’t change him!” I think he does love me, because he has gone from being that commitment-phobe to telling me that, “I will stay with you until you tell me to go.” I know that he deeply values me the way he has never valued anyone before.

Keep reading »