dealbreaker

Dealbreaker: The Junk Food Junkie

Diane ShipleyAugust 11, 2008 //

Food is one of the great joys of life. Or it is for most people. And when I say “most people”, I mean me.

For my ex, food was fuel, nothing more – something to be burped down between video games, beer-drinking sessions and advancing his engineering career. While studying for his degree, his dinner would routinely consist of half a loaf of bread, two packets of cookies and a large bottle of Coke. Seriously.

That’s okay when you’re a bachelor (as long as your cholesterol can take it) but can you imagine how difficult it is to keep a relationship going when your interests in food are so unbalanced? We’d go to grab dinner and a movie, but be finished with our drive-thru so soon we had hours to kill before the opening credits rolled. And it’s hard to get really romantic over a meal without wine… or a table.

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Dealbreaker: The Guy With Many Eccentricities

Leonora EpsteinJuly 28, 2008 //

I knew getting into it that Phil was an eccentric character. He was known for certain oddities—a fondness for shiny objects, spiky hairdos, the color red, to name a few. What should have really tipped me off to his peculiarities, however, was the night we were laying in bed and he confessed, “One of my exes became a dating columnist after we broke up. A lot of her stories were about me.”

Phil and I weren’t dating — we were hooking up. We’d slept together a few times, and who knew where things would go. We shared the same group of friends, so either way, it wasn’t as if we’d never see each other again if we decided to go separate ways. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Super Religious Guy

adminJuly 14, 2008 //

First date. He comes to my apartment for a boxed wine party a deux, his enthusiasm for Franzia leading me to believe this is the exact person I should be dating. And he’s cute. He’s real cute. Over the course of the evening I find out that he’s smart. He’s a self-proclaimed “literature guy.” He’s funny. He reaches over and pushes aside the hair that’s fallen in my eyes while I’m laughing. I like him. And then he says, “There’s something I need to tell you…”

Ahh! Enter the inevitable dealbreaker. (My, don’t you look familiar!) When he then confesses that he “can’t have sex right now,” I breathe a huge (and embarrassingly audible) sigh of relief. I’m thinking, “No big deal! He’s just a hermaphrodite or something! I’ll learn to love it.” But when I ask why, I find out that no, it’s not something simple like a combo of boy and girl parts down there, it’s much more complicated than that. This guy can’t have sex because, well, he’s very religious. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Pretty Boy

Leonora EpsteinJune 30, 2008 //

For most people, Halloween is either an excuse to look like a slut or it’s an opportunity to look as stupid as possible. Either way, it’s all about appearances, and, ultimately about getting attention from them.

On Halloween last year, I had parked myself firmly in Camp Slut, arriving to my costume party as a bride left at the altar—one, of course, with a very skimpy wedding dress. By the end of the evening, I was playing the part quite well because I was literally living it. I sat alone in a corner of the room, pissed because no boy had come to my rescue. Then, like a scene in a movie, the crowd parted, and out of it emerged a tall, thin man with wispy blond hair, heading straight toward me. Corey was, in a word, beautiful. (Even with a slashed t-shirt and fake blood smeared over his face and collarbone).

Corey wasn’t hot. Hot is for David Beckham and Brad Pitt. With his angelic face and creamy skin, he was a bit unreal, as if he had just stepped out of a Botticelli painting. I was instantly infatuated.

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Top Five T-Shirts That Will Not Get You Laid, Fellas

Amelia McDonell-ParryJune 19, 2008 //

I am amazed by the rise of the slogan t-shirt. You know, “Everybody Loves An Italian Girl”, “Barack ‘N’ Roll”, “More Cowbell”, “What Would Jesus Do”…I blame Urban Outfitters. But anyway, the most annoying aspect of this clothing phenomenon is that it’s given people the false impression that it’s okay to wear their stupidity, sexist attitudes, and sexual habits on their chests. After the jump, five t-shirts that are total dealbreakers.
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Dealbreaker: The Bad Speller

Natalie KrinskyJune 2, 2008 //

It was our third date before Chris brought me back to his apartment. He was a writer as well, which should have been an immediate red flag. Our relationship was bound to see its demise surely brought on by rabid insecurity leading to competition, some hate sex and then ultimately an anti-climactic break up. But I ignored the little voice in my head and went out with him anyhow. Something about beggars and choosers. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: Bad Music Taste

Jacqueline FrankelApril 14, 2008 //

There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs. But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re dealbreakers.

When my friend introduced me to a man who was over a foot taller than me, pale as a sheet of paper with pitch black hair and black leather boots laced to his knees, I fell head over heels for this grown-up goth. I’m sure we looked like a bit of an odd couple, or the cast of a horror movie (me being the girl that would get killed first) but he was sweeter than the little pink dresses I wore. On our dates, he was so cute and surprisingly funny, all I could do was giggle and find ways to show off my cleavage.
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Dealbreaker: The Drunk Embarrassment

Jacqueline FrankelMarch 31, 2008 //

There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs. But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re dealbreakers.

Oh, the joy of making all your girlfriends swoon with jealousy by showing off your hot new man! After years of being the token single girl, I dreamed of the day when I would finally get to introduce them to a sexy boyfriend of my own. When I magically found myself dating a real package deal — a guy with a good job, even better looks, and a singing voice so sweet I was proud to call him “honey” — I couldn’t wait to bask in the bragging rights. So, I invited my friends to a country karaoke night at local dive bar. I just knew he’d knock a song, and my friends, out.
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Poll: Would You Dump A Guy Based On His Bookshelf?

Amelia McDonell-ParryMarch 31, 2008 //

Poll: Is Bad Punctuation A Dealbreaker?

Amelia McDonell-ParryMarch 17, 2008 //
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