Tag Archives: dealbreaker

The Soapbox: Since When Is Wanting An Intellectually Equal Partner “Elitist”?

Bad Dating Habits
Us ladies are not immune to fouling up a date... Read More »
Dating Victim
I am not a dating victim -- and neither are you. Read More »
Dump Him In 2012
10 signs that you need to dump him this year. Read More »

I am fan of GOOD’s dating dealbreaker series (eerily similar to ours, but whatever) because I think it does a good job of looking back on past failed relationships and identifying the reason(s)  things just didn’t work out. Sometimes these dealbreakers can seem insignificant on the surface, but actual indicate a larger problem; other times these dealbreakers are glaringly obvious compatibility flaws. Even if the specific story does not resonate with readers, the larger problems are often relatable. GOOD writer Melissa Jeltsen’s dealbreaker, according to the headline on her piece? “He Didn’t Go To College.” This made her an “obnoxious, pseudo intellectual elitist” in the words of Feministe writer Caperton.

I found Jeltsen’s story about breaking up with someone because he was not her intellectual equal to be nuanced, compelling, thoughtful, and self-reflective. Feministe’s takedown, on the other hand, while raising one or two decent points, was disproportionately nasty in tone. Yes, the title of her piece was somewhat simplistic, but it was eye-catching and likely written by her editor, as most headlines are. However, Jeltsen’s piece was about more than just breaking up with her boyfriend because he didn’t go to college. She writes that despite having a “deep and easy” connection with Duke, the boyfriend in question, she was not intellectually stimulated by him. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Don’t Have A Dating Checklist

The Do-Not-Date List
Guys you should avoid at all costs! Read More »
Change Your Type!
Five ways to change the type of guy you go for. Read More »
This Is Not A Date
5 signs what you're doing is not actually a date. Read More »

In the preview for Bravo’s upcoming reality show “Miss Advised,” internet personality Julia Allison boldly exclaims that she’s looking for a husband and has a 73-point checklist. When I heard that, my immediate thought was that I’ve never had a checklist, and even when I’ve set vague goals for the types of people I wanted to date, I’ve found that the universe tends to throw people in my path who are explicitly not the types I’d have said I was looking for, as if it’s testing me. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: He Brought A Dog On Our Date

Grooming Dealbreaker
He said she needed grooming. She thought it was a dealbreaker. Read More »
Grandma Dealbreaker
He brought his grandma on our date. Read More »
Poly Dealbreaker
Is polyamory a dating dealbreaker? Read More »

“How about the Belmont at 8? It’ll be you, me, and Lulu,” he said.

“Who?”

“Lulu, my dog? The Belmont has outdoor seating, so I thought it’d be fun to bring her along.”

That bitch, I thought, but agreed to the plan nonetheless. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: He Didn’t Dance

Dealbreaker
He didn't know how to groom. Read More »
Dating Dealbreaker
I wasn't Jewish enough. Read More »
He Told Me To Lose Weight
When he told me to lose weight, I got rid of him. Read More »

I met Brian*, on OKCupid. He was a handsome blonde with fantastic taste in clothes. Heliked to cook, had a stable, admirable job, and played the ukulele on the side. It was all very cute. And so was he.

I imagined myself dating him for a long time, setting up a little homestead and writing songs together that we would perform and post on YouTube. He thought I was adorable and liked the way I fluttered around his apartment, all energy and smiles. I appreciated his gentle, almost Koala-like nature. It seemed like I had finally, after months of fruitless internet dating, found someone who I could really be serious about. Keep reading »

Is Your Dog An Online Dating Dealbreaker?

Have you ever come across a gorgeous man’s profile picture who seems to have everything you’ve ever wanted in life — except he has a cat? How about that handsome, mysterious James Bond type who claims the hobbies of cliff-diving and extreme snowboarding excites him? Crap … he’s into exotic snakes.  In the online dating world, these mini-factoids may fall into a category called dealbreakers.

Because dealbreakers are exactly that, the question comes into play, “Where do pets fit into your dating profile?” Most of the traditional sites have a spot where you can share your animal likes and dislikes, and these usually allow free-form writing. However tempting it may be to share the poem you recently wrote honoring Fluffy, my best advice is to keep this to a simple list. Read more…

Dealbreaker: The Woman Who Loved Me Was Also A Racist

My Interracial Marriage
What it's like being in an interracial marriage. Read More »
Madonna Loves To Swirl
How Madonna encouraged the writer to try interracial dating. Read More »
Poly Dealbreaker
Is polyamory a dating dealbreaker? Read More »

My online-dating profile was an exercise in what I hoped was witty sarcasm; I opened by noting that people usually just click on the pictures of people they find attractive and hope to find an interesting profile behind them. It was an approach that got me a couple of hate e-mails, but it also helped me meet Taren. Taren opened her e-mail by asking me if I had any additional pictures because, “I’m not sure you’re cute enough to be that much of a smart-ass.”

I sent her back an e-mail asking if she came from a ”wholesome-Midwestern-girl breeding program.” (Mind you, I wasn’t being that sarcastic with my response; she did have the air of the farmer’s daughter who’s hidden in the basement when strangers come a-callin’.) We wound up exchanging four or five e-mails that day, chuckling to ourselves while we sent e-mails from our boring meetings. Keep reading »

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