dealbreaker - Page 4

Love & Sex

The first fire-red flag with Jack should have come across loud and clear when he asked me — in our very first email exchange – to “rate” his online dating profile picture. This is Match.com, I thought, not one of those sort-of-creepy hot-or-not sites. I wanted a guy to take me out for dinner, a… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Over on Twitter right now, one of the trending topics is #Icantbewithsomeone, and people are giving all sorts of funny, honest and, of course, offensive, reasons why they couldn’t be with a particular person. It got me thinking about what would keep me from being with someone. Sure, I’m married and not looking for a… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Dan had a big grin in his profile picture, like he’d just said something super funny. He liked foreign novels, old buildings, and could spell in complete words. He looked like a cute professor.

Could this be … my guy?

I’d been online dating for a few months – long enough. There… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

I’ve written about a few dating dealbreakers I’ve encountered — the virgin; bad sex; the dumb guy — and my friends and Frisky commenters are always quick to jump in with their own list of turnoffs that will make a guy undateable.

We hate their below-the-belt grooming (or lack thereof), their obsession with… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Have you ever scooped a red jellybean out of a bowl, expecting it to be sweet and cherry-flavored and instead you’ve shocked your tongue with a hot cinnamon surprise?

Whenever this happens to me, I feel sort of betrayed – expecting something and getting something drastically different in its place. And sure, it’s… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Chris brought me flowers every week. Chris wined and dined me and took me on spontaneous romantic getaways. Chris called when he said he would, made plans in advance, opened doors, and held hands. But when he wasn’t doing all of those things, Chris was also kind of an a**hole.

There is a moment… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Tobey* was the perfect guy to date right after my divorce. He was cute, fun, and had a body like a gymnast. He was younger than I was, but not too young. He liked the same things I did: eating good food, going to the movies, and strolling around Manhattan. He was a great kisser… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

James was the boyfriend who did everything right.

He asked me out first, and asked me out again the very next day. He didn’t play games. He called if he’d be late, if he missed me, just to say hello. He listened patiently. He dressed well. He told me I was beautiful whether I… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

If you saw Derek* and me on the streets of New York, you might have thought we were a normal couple. You might have seen us sipping cocktails at a bar with our hands intertwined, lip-locked on the sidewalk. We might have been gazing into each other’s eyes so intently that we didn’t notice you… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

I am newly single (again). After a fun, but exhausting, up-and-down five months, my boyfriend-ish-person and I broke up this week. I’m sad about it — I really did fall for him and had so much fun with him. But I’m also a little relieved. The drama was wearing thin. Plus, he hated my clothes. READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Recently a rather naive friend was telling me about the new girl he was dating. They’d been out a few times, but he hadn’t heard from her since the last date, when he went over to her place and then had to lie down because he felt sick.

Now, wait just a minute. READ MORE »


Guys

I don’t really have a type — men are just plain sexy, especially when they’re approaching me with a smile. A funny, confident guy trying to get on my good side drives me wild. But if I look down at his hands and they’re all Busted McDirty, that’s my manscaping dealbreaker. Nails you are too… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

When I showed up at the bar, Doug* had not arrived yet. I had seen his picture (he was an online acquisition), so I knew roughly what to expect. I am not a superficial broad and I can usually find just about any dude attractive if he has a good personality. Based on the few… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

There are dealbreakers and then there are dealbreakers—and a past history of domestic violence is a dealbreaker on a lot of people’s list. Salon.com’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, fielded a question from a former abuser who’s nervous about telling his new girlfriend he physically abused his ex-wife half a dozen times during their marriage.

READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Rich and famous Hayden Panetierre says she can’t get a man because of all the media attention she gets. “It’s very, very difficult and people have no idea what they do to peoples’ relationships. They destroy them. The paparazzi and the public. The public wants to read about your personal life, and the paparazzi giveREAD MORE »


Love & Sex

I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while. Match, Nerve, JDate, OkCupid, you name it. Generally, I’m a fan. (It feels sort of like shopping for boys, no?) That said, there’s also a lot about it that never fails to appall me. Namely, what guys seem to think is attractive, funny, or sexy… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

I may be generalizing, but most guys are pretty into the idea of dating a girl who’s bisexual. Because, though it may never actually happen, you know that if your girlfriend likes chicks, there’s the potential there for not only some girl-on-girl action, but also possibly, some day, a threesome, that holy grail of male… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

I am 30 years old, single, and have been that way for a while. As I approached the big 3-0, starting around mid-28, I began to panic about my singlehood, asking myself some tough questions: “What am I doing wrong?” “Are my standards are too high?” “Do I have too much baggage?” I made a… READ MORE »