dealbreaker - Page 4

Dealbreaker: He Said I Needed Grooming

Tobey* was the perfect guy to date right after my divorce. He was cute, fun, and had a body like a gymnast. He was younger than I was, but not too young. He liked the same things I did: eating good food, going to the movies, and strolling around Manhattan. He was a great kisser… More »


Dealbreaker: The Moralizer

James was the boyfriend who did everything right.

He asked me out first, and asked me out again the very next day. He didn’t play games. He called if he’d be late, if he missed me, just to say hello. He listened patiently. He dressed well. He told me I was beautiful whether I… More »


Dealbreaker: The Loveless Man

If you saw Derek* and me on the streets of New York, you might have thought we were a normal couple. You might have seen us sipping cocktails at a bar with our hands intertwined, lip-locked on the sidewalk. We might have been gazing into each other’s eyes so intently that we didn’t notice you… More »


Dealbreaker: He Hated My Clothes

I am newly single (again). After a fun, but exhausting, up-and-down five months, my boyfriend-ish-person and I broke up this week. I’m sad about it — I really did fall for him and had so much fun with him. But I’m also a little relieved. The drama was wearing thin. Plus, he hated my clothes. More »


Dealbreaker: Wusses

Recently a rather naive friend was telling me about the new girl he was dating. They’d been out a few times, but he hadn’t heard from her since the last date, when he went over to her place and then had to lie down because he felt sick.

Now, wait just a minute. More »


Manscaping: What Are Your Grooming Dealbreakers?

I don’t really have a type — men are just plain sexy, especially when they’re approaching me with a smile. A funny, confident guy trying to get on my good side drives me wild. But if I look down at his hands and they’re all Busted McDirty, that’s my manscaping dealbreaker. Nails you are too… More »


Dealbreaker: The TMI Guy

When I showed up at the bar, Doug* had not arrived yet. I had seen his picture (he was an online acquisition), so I knew roughly what to expect. I am not a superficial broad and I can usually find just about any dude attractive if he has a good personality. Based on the few… More »


Would You Dump A Guy If You Found Out He Hit His Ex?

There are dealbreakers and then there are dealbreakers—and a past history of domestic violence is a dealbreaker on a lot of people’s list. Salon.com’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, fielded a question from a former abuser who’s nervous about telling his new girlfriend he physically abused his ex-wife half a dozen times during their marriage.

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14 Jobs That May Ruin Your Chances Of Getting Laid

Rich and famous Hayden Panetierre says she can’t get a man because of all the media attention she gets. “It’s very, very difficult and people have no idea what they do to peoples’ relationships. They destroy them. The paparazzi and the public. The public wants to read about your personal life, and the paparazzi giveMore »


Automatic Online Dating Dealbreakers

I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while. Match, Nerve, JDate, OkCupid, you name it. Generally, I’m a fan. (It feels sort of like shopping for boys, no?) That said, there’s also a lot about it that never fails to appall me. Namely, what guys seem to think is attractive, funny, or sexy… More »


Would You Date A Guy Who’s Bi?

I may be generalizing, but most guys are pretty into the idea of dating a girl who’s bisexual. Because, though it may never actually happen, you know that if your girlfriend likes chicks, there’s the potential there for not only some girl-on-girl action, but also possibly, some day, a threesome, that holy grail of male… More »


Dealbreaker: The Polyamorous Guy

I am 30 years old, single, and have been that way for a while. As I approached the big 3-0, starting around mid-28, I began to panic about my singlehood, asking myself some tough questions: “What am I doing wrong?” “Are my standards are too high?” “Do I have too much baggage?” I made a… More »


Is Boring Style A Dating Dealbreaker?

Because I’m young and carefree, I’ve been keeping my options open and dating a couple of guys at the same time. No more than two, because beyond that, things get a little sloppy. Well, two works until decision time comes around and you’re writing out each one’s pros versus cons. That’s where I am right… More »


Dealbreaker: The Carbon Copy

Everyone knows that there are lots of fish in the sea. Some fish travel in schools and enjoy the security of being identical to their underwater neighbors. I always preferred the beta fish, however; colorful and unique, the beta fish swims alone and exudes individuality. Just like the beta fish that attacks any gilled creature… More »


Dealbreaker: The Twin Bed

According to my mom, the three hallmarks of adulthood are appreciating jazz, a taste for cantaloupe, and sleeping in a bed that is larger than a twin. Unfortunately, Mom’s wisdom does not apply to dudes here in New York City, specifically in the arty enclave of Brooklyn, in which I dwell. Sure, they have the… More »


Dealbreaker: Really Bad Sex

Peter owning up to Googling me on our first date should have been the first warning sign. Don’t get me wrong: I Google, you Google, we all Google acquaintances. Doing it in private is one thing. Saying it out loud is another.

“Did I tell you who I work for?” I asked. It… More »


Dating Don’ts: Dealbreaker Or Dealmaker?

I have said and/or done the wrong thing so many times that it’s truly the eighth wonder of the world that I ever managed to trick anyone into dating me more than once. There was the time I fell off my chair and farted (loudly) just as my butt hit the ground. Or the guy… More »


Dealbreaker: The Comedian

It was a drizzly night, and I was walking down the street with Luke, my boyfriend at the time, to a comedy club where he was performing that night. He held an umbrella over my head and had his arm wrapped around my shoulder. I should have been giddy, but instead I felt apprehensive. We’d… More »


Dealbreaker: The Sexless Guy

I’ve already told you why guys who don’t want head are a dealbreaker for me, but what about guys who just aren’t into sex? Yes, they exist. Anyone who tells you otherwise — that all men are 24/7 sex fiends — is either lying or has just been lucky enough not to meet the kind… More »


Dealbreaker: The Hobby Horse

We met fresh out of college, when we both worked at a law firm. All the ladies in the office chirped about his thick hair, cooed over his broad-shouldered frame, whispered about his posh upbringing and slick pedigree. I found him arrogant and self-consumed.

I took an interest in him only after he started… More »