dealbreaker - Page 3

8 Hook-Up Dealbreakers

I could write a book filled with my friends’ hook up horror stories, but that would be ugly and unproductive. So in the spirit of Liz Lemon, I decided to make a list of dealbreakers to prevent said horror stories. Unfortunately, many of my friends have followed through with a hookup despite a definite deal… More »


Dealbreaker: The Guy With Remedial Grooming Skills

My fairly new boyfriend Todd was a nice-enough looking guy with some questionable grooming habits. I tried to tell myself that these minor, easily fixable flaws shouldn’t influence how I felt about him.

But instead of gazing into Todd’s eyes, I found myself staring at his nose hair, fixated. Brownish-grey tufts looking like… More »


Dealbreaker: The Unmedicated Guy

It didn’t take long for me to figure out something about Nick* was different. Everything about him was outsized, super-charming and a bit impulsive. For our second date, he seriously considered whisking me away to Atlantic City for the weekend to go gambling. After only two weeks of dating, he told me he thought I… More »


Is Porn A Relationship Dealbreaker?

My mother and many of her second-wave feminist peers view pornography as an institutional ill that is degrading to women and damaging to developing sexuality. She believes that the camera-ready angles, waxed and plastic body parts and pervasive depiction of extreme acts as “normal” distort human sexuality and give young porn-viewers a whole bunch of… More »


Dealbreaker: The Thief

As a broke, 27-year-old graduate student slowly recovering from a messy break up, I posted a profile on OkCupid in hopes of meeting a guy who did his own laundry and didn’t kill animals. Despite my Baptist parents’ and grandparents’ longstanding encouragement to find a God-fearing gentleman, my standard was slightly lower. A man who… More »


Dealbreaker: He Doesn’t Believe In Global Warming

I should have known the relationship was doomed the moment he brought up his all-consuming hobby: race car driving.

I spent an entire summer in the sticks of Ohio and Pennsylvania, feeling like an idiot as my then-boyfriend Sam, his dad, and a friend worked on the car, which was black and blue… More »


Dealbreaker: The Dirty Talker

After a slew of flings that consisted of more games than the World Cup, I was practically in heaven when I met Jake – an intelligent, successful, Southern gentleman who eerily resembled New York Mets heartthrob David Wright. … More »


Dealbreaker: He Made Me Mail My Half Of The Bill

I met Donny* for a drink at 6 p.m. on a Sunday. When I walked into the deserted restaurant, soaked from the downpour outside, I didn’t know he was destined to become the pettiest, stingiest and most pitiable man I’ve ever gone out with. … More »


Dear Wendy: “I’m Stressed That My Boyfriend Smokes Pot”

I met a wonderful guy a little over a year ago and we started dating casually and taking things very slow. During that time I discovered that he occasionally smokes pot. I didn’t catch him doing it nor have I ever seen any paraphernalia anywhere — I just heard some stories through a mutual friend. More »


Did Michael C. Hall & Jennifer Carpenter Split Because He Changed His Mind About Having Kids?

I gotta say, even though I’m rarely surprised when a celebrity couple splits, I was pretty shocked when “Dexter”‘s Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter announced they were divorcing. They’d only been married a couple years! They weathered through his battle with cancer! Surely they had the stuff that makes relationships survive? Apparently not. According… More »


Dealbreaker: The Obnoxious Social Media Oversharer

Newly returned to New York after a two-year sojourn abroad, I was eager to make friends (or more than friends), so I turned to my Facebook, FourSquare, Twitter, Tumblr, and OkCupid accounts. At some point, social media savvy became a legitimate dating skill and I was ready to showcase mine to the fullest. I was… More »


Dealbreaker: He’s Saving Himself For Marriage

I sat at the airport, waiting to board Virgin Airlines flight 451 traveling non-stop to my sunny destination … to a friend’s wedding. I exhaled. It had been too long since I had been on a real vacation. All my vacation days seem to be designated to other people’s weddings. In the terminal, I replayed… More »


Dealbreaker: Drunk On A First Date

I should have known better than to meet handsome Dan at one of the seediest bars in Brooklyn, but looking into those baby blues that were a good four or five inches above mine, I couldn’t help but feel weak in the knees. He took my number and after a few texts we decided on… More »


Dealbreaker: The Checkbook Balancer

I was in my early 20s, living in New York City and barely scraping by. Even though I was making ends meet by some combination of waiting tables/temping/focus groups, I still always had enough money to pay my rent and indulge in highly caloric, fruity martinis. Before I was on my own, my father instilled… More »


Dealbreaker: The “Rate Me” Guy

The first fire-red flag with Jack should have come across loud and clear when he asked me — in our very first email exchange – to “rate” his online dating profile picture. This is Match.com, I thought, not one of those sort-of-creepy hot-or-not sites. I wanted a guy to take me out for dinner, a… More »


I Can’t Be With Someone Who …

Over on Twitter right now, one of the trending topics is #Icantbewithsomeone, and people are giving all sorts of funny, honest and, of course, offensive, reasons why they couldn’t be with a particular person. It got me thinking about what would keep me from being with someone. Sure, I’m married and not looking for a… More »


Dealbreaker: He Told Me to Lose Weight

Dan had a big grin in his profile picture, like he’d just said something super funny. He liked foreign novels, old buildings, and could spell in complete words. He looked like a cute professor.

Could this be … my guy?

I’d been online dating for a few months – long enough. There… More »


What’s Your Dealbreaker?

I’ve written about a few dating dealbreakers I’ve encountered — the virgin; bad sex; the dumb guy — and my friends and Frisky commenters are always quick to jump in with their own list of turnoffs that will make a guy undateable.

We hate their below-the-belt grooming (or lack thereof), their obsession with… More »


Dealbreaker: The Guy Who Just Wants Sex

Have you ever scooped a red jellybean out of a bowl, expecting it to be sweet and cherry-flavored and instead you’ve shocked your tongue with a hot cinnamon surprise?

Whenever this happens to me, I feel sort of betrayed – expecting something and getting something drastically different in its place. And sure, it’s… More »


Dealbreaker: He Was Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Chris brought me flowers every week. Chris wined and dined me and took me on spontaneous romantic getaways. Chris called when he said he would, made plans in advance, opened doors, and held hands. But when he wasn’t doing all of those things, Chris was also kind of an a**hole.

There is a moment… More »