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The Formula For An Amazing News Item: Whitney Houston, A Monkey And Toe Sucking

Every so often a news item comes along that defies all reason and exceeds all expectations of news greatness. Today, I found one such story. The headline reads: Whitney Houston Once Got Intimate With Michael Jackson’s Pet Monkey Bubbles.” What does that mean exactly? It means that David Gest (that weird looking fellow who was married to Liza Minnelli) made some interesting claims during his interview for the upcoming Michael Jackson documentary. “Whitney was having dinner with Michael at his Neverland home when she accidentally dropped her knife under the table. While Michael was retrieving it for her, Whitney felt her toes being sucked. She moaned, ‘Michael, is that you? Don’t stop. That’s so sensual.’ Yet Michael’s head popped up and her toes were still being sucked. It turned out it was Bubbles,” he recalled. And there you have it. Questions, comments, concerns? Above, the breakdown of what makes this news item truly amazing. [ONTD] Keep reading »

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