He was there singin’ when the Berlin Wall fell, he could get a Trans Am to bend to his will, and he can pack an entire television show with his chest hair flapping in the Malibu beach wind. But when it comes to we women, David’s got a list he’ll check twice before you can get Hoffed. So, ladies, the question is: Do you stack up in every “sex’tion” of his life? After the jump, we’ll reveal his priceless dos and don’ts.

“Baywatch,” the long-dead TV show about, well, nothing, is taking its skimpy red bathing suits, busting out of hiding, and running (probably in slow motion) to the big screen. Jeremy Garelick, the dude who worked on “The Hangover,” is writing a “Baywatch” comedy that will feature two geeky lifeguards who try desperately to fit in with the beach beauties they work with. [Metro UK]

Our predictions for this new flick, after the jump.

MUSIC

• Electric Six Flashy The Detroit rockers are rolling out bitchin’ tunes and teasing the ladies with tracks like their ode to “Formula 409” and “Transatlantic Flight,” in which they offer to let us use their bodies as a flotation device. Oh, we how want to go down on them!

A new study is claiming women don’t like one-night stands. Um, doesn’t a blanket statement like that need circumstantial qualifications? Such as: Women don’t like one-night stands when:

1. It’s a pity lay.
2. They’re new to college and sex, so they’re not really sure how to do it.
3. They’ve accidentally taken home David Hasselhoff.
4. They’re drunk and/or regret it the next day.

Then maybe the research compiled by Professor Ann Campbell of Durham University through an internet survey, claiming that 54% of women have negative feelings the next day, might make sense.  After all, why would women do something they don’t want to over and over again? We here at The Frisky get it and take it when we want it. Sure, we all want quality over quantity, but women are adults and we all make our own decisions. Sure, someday we may use our tunnel of love for birthin’ babies, but up until that point, we’re all just in it for the ride.  Well, at least 46% of us. [Sunderland Echo]