I guess I’ve been lucky in my romantic dealings with coworkers; one turned into a long-term relationship that outlasted the job and the other two were just pleasant dalliances that fizzled out naturally. Which is probably why I’ve always rolled my eyes when I hear so-called experts yammer on about how you should avoid dating people you work with at all costs. I mean, sure, stay away from the boss or anyone who reports to you, but if you’re both on equal footing, who cares?

I was conversing with a dude this weekend about imbibing alcohol on a first date -- how much is too much and even too little. As someone who enjoys a good glass/bottle of wine, especially paired with food, dating someone who drinks is kind of, well, important to me. No offense to any readers who don't drink (especially those who are in recovery), but it would be difficult for me to date a non-drinker. That said, I don't want to date someone who can't have a good time without boozing it up either. I always do my darndest not to get drunk on a first date, mainly because I want to make the best decisions possible if I'm just starting to get to know someone -- and I certainly would be buggin' out a little if my date got smashed while I remained fairly sober. So, what about you?

I haven’t been much of a believer in gut instincts until now. I’m one of those neurotic, analytical, thinks-too-much girls who tends to question her reasoning and feelings. But in the past few months, I’ve let go and gone solely on the gut. It’s what made me leave my job in New York and what brought me to Paris (so, thanks, Gut). And last Tuesday night, as I was rushing to my date with TDH (the tall, dark, and handsome Frenchman whom I met through friends), my gut was telling me, “This is not a good idea. This isn’t going to go well.”

It’d be great if dating and flirting were easy—things you could approach with excitement and nonchalance. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. You want to make a good impression on your potential love-interest, yet the very act of pondering how the other person perceives you can make you less confident! Below are four tricks for making a great first impression whether you’re cruising the pick-up scene at a bar or on a first date.

A wise Mind of Man once told me, “Generals are always prepared to fight the last war.” People—well, OK, I—try and work through the crap of their last relationship with the person they’re with currently. This, I think, explains why, for the better part of my adult life, I have been a complete and total spaz when it comes to men and dating. I know, shocking right? if I was a spaz before the relationship with my ex-fiance, I was a complete and total bunny boiler after he broke up with me. I was an insecure, over-analytical nutter and wasn’t sure how, when, and what it would take for me to stop fighting a war in which I was the only participant.

Like the David Letterman Debacle wasn’t bad enough, now we have the story of Steve Phillips, the ESPN analyst, who had an affair with a 22-year-old coworker. Unfortunately for the 46-year-old sports dude and married father of four, his latest dalliance (and apparently there’ve been many before her) turned into a bunny boiler when he broke it off with her.

Brooke Hundley, the jilted junior, went ballistic, repeatedly emailing and calling Phillips’ long-suffering wife, tricking their 16-year-old son into an online flirtation, and then finally showing up at the family home, scaring the crap out of everyone.

Lucky for Hundley, the Phillips declined to press charges, but her reputation, both professionally and personally, is shot. (His too. He’s since been fired from ESPN and has entered a treatment facility.) Obviously, being some cad’s side action is always a sucker’s game, but if you’re going to do it, do it right.

We know, we know, this may come as a shock to many a single lady, but contrary to popular belief, the emergency service 911 is in no way, shape or form to be used as a way to pick up hot cops. One woman called for a legit emergency, and after police came to her house, dealt and left, she called the line again to ask if they would send the guys back because she was interested in asking one of them out. They came back alright, to arrest her for misusing 911. D’oh! [Fail Blog]

When you go on a dinner date, do you eat at a fancy restaurant with cloth napkins, multiple courses, and a sommelier on staff? Or do you stop at a hole-in-the-wall that serves what are supposed to be the best hot dogs in town? According to an article in today’s New York Times, stuffy restaurant dates aren’t the preference these days for many people.

In general, people have gotten a lot more casual over the years; this has certainly been reflected in dating—from casual sex to casual restaurants. While I like wearing dresses, I’m definitely of the mindset that going to a cheap, hidden gem is usually much more fun and gives you a better chance to get to know someone than dining at a high-class establishment does (unless you want to evaluate his table manners). How can you even concentrate on getting to know someone when you have to think about which fork to use?

We know it all too well—boys will be boys. But sometimes it’s not the things they do that drive us insane, but rather the things they don’t do. Here, our least favorite passive-aggressive guy behaviors and moments when we wish they’d make it a habit of stepping up to the plate. Mind you, these aren’t necessarily dealbreakers, but just the things that tend to make us go ugh!

I am 24 years old and currently in a committed, loving, happy relationship.  My boyfriend of 2.5 years is cute, sexy, kind, intelligent, AND we are so compatible that we barely fight; we are really really good together. Before him, I dated non-seriously, but he is my first love and my first really serious relationship.  Although I am happy now and fully committed, I can’t help but think that though I want to end up with him in the long run, I would like to be single again, experiment or date around a little bit, and be on my own before I REALLY settle down and get married.  There have been no serious marriage talks, engagements, or proposals yet, but once I did mention this want to him before and it kind of hurt him, because it made him feel sick to his stomach to imagine me with anyone else but him.  For some reason I thought that he, being a guy, would want the same thing and to experiment/be free a bit before settling down, but I assumed wrong.  And having these feelings makes me feel bad or greedy or like I shouldn’t want to date other people before I settle down, but I definitely don’t want to get married with ANY doubts.  Am I wrong or is it bad to want this?  Will it ruin our relationship in the long run, or make things too complicated?  I am afraid that I would make this decision and then regret it later after realizing how much it hurts both of us, or something like that ... but then again like I said I don’t want to have any doubts. — Wondering

Here’s the plot of my new favorite blog, 50 JDates: A 26-year old Jewish girl is in love with her boyfriend, who’s a goy (aka, not a Jew). The two lovebirds are considering marriage, but because her family is super religious and it’s important to them that she marries a Jewish man, she asks her boyfriend to convert. He says, “No.” Now she is torn—her mother doesn’t want the marriage to happen, and she’s not sure what to think. So how does she deal? She does something that I can only describe as my worst nightmare—she joins JDate, a Jews-only online dating site and pledges to go on 50 dates, writing about each and every one.  At the end of the 50 dates, she’ll decide if she can accept her non-Jewish man, refuse her family’s wishes, and get engaged. Or who knows, maybe her beshert will come along. I can’t say I’d have the chutzpah to take on such a daunting task—but this girl is doing it with an open heart and an open mind. L’chaim, lady!

P.S. Don’t tell my mother about this social experiment. I don’t want her to get any crazy ideas.

I barely felt anything about breaking up with Mr. Cupid until a few days ago. Being back to my old life was great. No more obligations in the evening. Nights slept in my own (much prettier) bed. No more stressing about whatever next “surprise” Cupid would do, that would scare me into thinking his next one would be proposing marriage.

Yet, while I am totally glad we’re over, I did feel a momentary pang of sadness a few days ago, not so much about him, but about the disappointment in not having something be what you want it to be. Why couldn’t he just be a bit more driven and mature? All the things I want in a Frenchman I think I now see in all the couples who get in my way by making out in the middle of the sidewalk while accordions play and kids in berets skip around with ice cream cones.

I’ve completely abandoned online dating. If anyone asked me two months ago about what the difference between online dating in NYC and in France is, I would have said, “Well, in New York, a lot of people do it. And the stigma has really loosened up. France is where NYC was five years ago, so I’m positive that things will turn around with the handful of dating sites here.” Now if you asked me this question, I’d say, “If a guy in Paris is doing online dating, something is wrong with him.” Sorry. But the selection is weak.

Melanie Sims wrote an essay called “Dating Like a White Girl” for the November issue of Essence magazine. In the piece, she says she rewrote her “conservative Black girl dating rules” to have fun with dating and get over a man who was unfaithful. Here’s her explanation:

“Yes, I’m stereotyping White girls as footloose and free based on my first introduction to courtship (Kelly Kapowski on “Saved by the Bell”) and the White women in the cubicle next to me who don’t live in fear of some looming man shortage.”

TotalBeauty.com looked into a serious matter, gave it the research it deserves, and came up with real answers. They know where the dogs are, and I’m not going to keep you in suspense. The cities with the ugliest men are the following:

I used to be one of those self-righteous types who declared I’d sooner break up with a man than stoop to snoop. This stance wasn’t because I was noble or had never been tempted—I’m not and I have. I just remember all too well the day my mother read my journal aloud to my entire family. I was 17 and, as you can probably imagine, that book was bursting to the seams with embarrassing, angst-laden, mawkish, teenage drama. To say I was mortified ... well, that doesn’t begin to describe the way I felt.

Since that day, I’ve always been very respectful of other people’s privacy, in particular my partners’ and, unfortunately, often to my own detriment. I’d listen to suspicious friends’ tales of hacking into their boyfriends’ emails or reading their texts and waste no time voicing my disapproval.

If you’re single and looking for a great guy, how many times have you cursed the city you live in for its lack of eligible bachelors? Maybe you’ve even contemplated moving somewhere else where the pickins are a bit more favorable. Luckily, The Daily Beast has taken all the guess work out of where your next home should be. They searched cities around the country and found the best (and worst) spots to meet men. Measuring cities with populations of at least 500,000, they ruled out suburbs (too many married men) and focused “primarily on which places had the highest numbers of eligible men, percentage-wise.” They also “gave credit to cities with the highest percentage of single men with four-year college degrees,” as well as those with the most places to meet men per capita, including gyms, bars, restaurants, clubs, and theaters (what, no dog parks??). In total, 36 cities were included in the “very scientific” study. After the jump, check out the top ten best and the top ten worst.

Ah, men. So endearing. So easily confused. We know we women aren’t the easiest people in the world to figure out, and it’s all too easy for a guy to open his mouth and say something that’s an instant dealbreaker. Whether the subject is sex, weight, or love, here are a few lines that should send you ladies running for the hills if you hear them from your dude. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

I acknowledge and accept that I’m not a perfect 10. But what drives me nuts is that people keep telling me I’ve got no chance of finding love with someone who is hot or hotter than me. Why can’t I go for it? Why does someone like me have to settle for less? Only beautiful people can be with beautiful people? If you’re not perfect in looks, you don’t deserve anything hot? I tell people what I want and I’ve had enough experiences to say I’ve earned the right to know what I want and be selective instead of the whole “as long as they’re alive” approach. So, please, in your opinion, do you think the beautiful people can only be with the beautiful people? — Not a 10

My only other relationship with a French guy was a short-lived fling towards the end of my junior year abroad in Paris. Knowing I was leaving soon, we started off light and casual, but a month into things he broke it off. We met up late (as usual) for a drink when he told me, “I’m not in love with you; therefore, I can’t make love to you anymore.” It seemed like the most absurd excuse—since when did hooking up with a girl who was leaving the country in two months necessitate love? Offended, I downed the rest of my gin and tonic, stood up and said, “I’m going.” It was perhaps my most “Sex and the City” moment. God, I was angry.

Up until now, I’d always looked at that experience as the most ridiculous way to break up with someone. Now, in a completely ironic twist, I decided to use the same strategy to break up with Mr. Cupid.

According to one of my former boyfriends, he absolutely hated me when first we met. I have to say the feeling was mutual. I had just gotten off a red-eye from New York to London and was tired, cranky, and hadn’t showered. No wonder he didn’t love me right off the bat.