Many of us, myself included, have gone down the dreaded LDR (long-distance relationship) path with a significant other. Not being able to experience daily rituals together, go out on dates, and just wake up next to each other — not to mention the physical part — can test even the strongest of bonds. And don’t even get me started on the tearful airport goodbyes. That said, there are actually scientifically proven benefits of LDRs. A recent study found that couples separated by distance reported more intimacy than those who live close to each other thanks to more meaningful communication and idealizing their partners’ behaviors (you forget that your boyfriend always leaves the sink full of dirty dishes when he’s not around). Read more at Tres Sugar…
The scenario is a common one – it’s happened to me and, while writing this piece, I did an informal survey and asked a handful of women in my life if they were familiar with the phenomenon of fake-friending. All them were. And almost all of them – myself included – admitted to having been on both sides. As a person with a lot of close male friends, I’ve fake-friended multiple new girlfriends in the interest of research (Because really? Her? Is she funny or something? He told me he doesn’t even like brunettes!), and I’ve been the new girlfriend who suddenly had a suspiciously good-looking college friend of my new boyfriend Facebook messaging me that “we should get together.”
It usually goes like this: a man and a woman begin dating and eventually get to a point where they start to meet each other’s friends. If they are well-adjusted, normal adults, they will probably have friends of both genders. Maybe it’s awesome. Maybe the new girlfriend and the female friends genuinely have a lot in common — they do have similar taste in men, after all — and everyone becomes friends and the world continues to turn in perfect harmony.
But probably, because humans are just sacks of guts and hormones, at least one of those female friends will likely have or have had feelings for the newly-spoken-for. Maybe they dated or slept together once (or for a while*) and it didn’t work out. Whatever the specifics, the dynamic is the same: the female friend doesn’t necessarily want to date the guy, but she doesn’t want him dating that girl. And instead of admitting that (and thus, admitting her feelings), the platonic female friend will launch an attack of niceness. Keep reading »
When you finally meet someone you connect with, that first date feels like magic. The conversation flows smoothly, the chemistry is electric, and you wish that the night would never end. Which is why you’re so surprised when on the second date, you feel like you’re out with a totally different person. Between all the awkward pauses, you’re wondering what you saw in this guy. Or maybe he’s just as magical as last time, but it’s you that’s off this time. Even though you can usually hold up your end of a sparkling conversation with a brick wall, your mind is suddenly blank and you have nothing to say. Reaching for something, anything, you offer, “The fish tank behind the bar is so … watery!” wishing you could jump into it and swim far, far away.
You’ve just hit the second date slump. First dates may be nerve-racking, but they’re a piece of cake compared to what comes after. On a date number one, it’s all about first impressions and putting your best foot forward. Since you don’t know this person and aren’t emotionally invested yet, there’s very little at stake. It’s easy to be light and breezy when you’re talking about standard getting-to-know-you topics. Any commonalities feel like they signify relationship potential and are a cause for celebration. First dates are also about romance—a nice dinner at the perfect restaurant, a moonlit stroll around the block, that first kiss—and everything feels exciting and new. Keep reading »
I’m about to drop some BIG secrets here. Guys, it’s really not that hard to land a second date with a woman should you want one. There are things you can do on your first date (or immediately following) that will all but ensure your second (unless you behaved like a cad on the first date, in which case I can’t help you). Hint: these are things don’t involve dropping big bucks on a fancy dinner. Save your money. It’s much simpler than that. After the jump, some moves that will (probably) land you a second date. Keep reading »
If you’re on the dating scene and want to find someone special, you know how hard it can be to meet and greet the right person. Starting a conversion sounds simple enough, but it can be the most difficult part of a date because you want to make a good first impression. You can’t just wait for the man or woman of your desires to talk to you because it may never happen. So you must make the first move whether you are male or female. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Here are some fun opening lines you might want to try: Keep reading »
“The Bachelor…On the Wings of Love…The Women Tell All” is a very long title, and it was a very long show. We saw, in two hours, how past contestants get drunk on Bachelor “reunion cruises,” how they give back to charity, and—as host Chris Harrison kept saying—how exactly the “biggest TV scandal of 2010″ went down, i.e., how contestant Rozlyn Papa got busy with a nameless producer (we’re talking making out, probably with tongue) before both were kicked off the show.
So, yes, the women told all, Rozlyn denied everything, and who knows how many production assistants burnt their fingers lighting a hundred, or a thousand tea lights. Much to our surprise, however, the show yielded some heartfelt, real-world dating tips that could help all of us find love. Read more … Keep reading »
Yesterday, I did an interview with CNN Live about Leonora Epstein’s article, “Automatic Online Dating Dealbreakers.” (You can watch it after the jump, if you’re so inclined, but please know the style department will be doing more about my hideous under-eye circles and lighting the next time around.) That same day, Julia Allison, blogging “sexpert,” was on MTV’s “It’s On With Alexa Chung” discussing the similar, but broader topic of dating in the realm of new media – texting, Facebook, online dating, etc. You can watch the segment above. She had five tips prepared for Alexa and then provided two others prompted by viewer questions. Some of her tips I could get behind, while the others kind of blew my mind. I’ll give it to you straight, after the jump… Keep reading »
A male blogger named Anthony Michael Rojas posted a little list entitled “How To Treat A Woman On A Date: The Basics” on his Tumbler blog this week and it got quite a few angry reblogs from women who felt like his suggestions were sexist. Rojas clearly believe his suggestions to be basic “chivalry,” while his detractors seemed to suggest that there is a difference between chivalry and manners, because chivalry is rooted in sexism. I found many of the responses to not only be silly, but also bordering on unintentionally satirical of “feminist” anger. It was clear to me that the original poster wasn’t being a jerk, so why did the responses treat him like one? Still, the back-and-forth did bring up the issue of whether these eight seemingly harmless gestures are actually offensive because they supposedly treat women as the weaker sex. Let’s go through them one by one, shall we? Keep reading »
Yesterday I wrote Advice For The Vertically Challenged and was surprised by some of the comments. Many quite fairly pointed out that perhaps my definition of “short” should be revised, or that I should be clear that just because I feel short at 5′ 5″ does not make this height or anything bellow it qualify as “short.” What really struck a chord with me, however, were comments concerning height differences when it comes to dating. I started thinking about my own reasons for feeling short and realized that it was mostly due to the fact that most of the men I have dated have been at least six feet tall. Hmmm, I wonder… Keep reading »