They don’t say, “First impressions are the best impressions,” for nothing. It’s very true! How a person behaves with us the first time we meet them definitely sets the tone for our future interactions, especially if it’s a first date.
I feel like I am always being bombarded with magazine articles about what women shouldn’t do on the first date, so today, I decided to turn the tables around. I have compiled a list of 10 things guys shouldn’t even think about doing on their first dates.
Checking Your Cellphone. This is our first date. Your attention should be on me. Not on your phone. Actually, this is a pet peeve of mine in general. Even when I am just with my friends at dinner, it annoys me to the millionth power when we make all this effort to have dinner plans and all my friends spend doing during dinner is checking their phones! Read more on College Candy…
Back in the days when men were “men” and Rock Hudson was a paragon of heterosexuality, life was simpler for straight guys. Today, with gender roles in a state of flux and traditional ideas about masculinity turned upside-down, things are a lot more confusing, especially for women.
Do girls keep slotting you into the “friend” category, despite your best efforts to attract them? Maybe you’re giving them the wrong idea. We asked a random selection of women and gay columnist Richard Burnett to give us some straight answers. Here are six reasons why women might assume you’re gay.
1.You’re homophobic. This one should be obvious. When a guy goes out of his way to make disparaging remarks about gay people, one can’t help but wonder what he’s so worried about. Homophobia also expresses itself in other, more subtle ways, like “harmless” jokes or obsessions with the sexuality of people around you. As Burnett puts it: “Most straight people just aren’t all that concerned with whether or not someone is gay. Gays are mostly invisible to completely straight men.” Read more on Ask Men…
A lot of people think of acts of romance as being gender-specific. Men should bring home bouquets of long-stemmed roses and women should wear naughty lingerie to keep the fire burning in their relationships. The problem with this kind of thinking is that it perpetuates false gender roles and actually misleads people into following a set of rigid sex-centric guidelines that ends up hurting the relationship — and disregards your uniqueness as a couple. I have a solution.
So here’s my secret technique: consider romance from the perspective of a cat or a dog.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “What’s the difference between thinking in male/female terms and cat/dog terms?” Bear with me for a moment. Read more on Your Tango…
It’s spring and romance is in the air (can’t you smell it within the pollen?). Every spring my husband and I take our annual anniversary five-day weekend, and every spring, we wish it could be 10 days longer. Honestly, is there anything better than luscious weather and your man by your side? I don’t think so.
Personally, I think you need next to nothing (literally) to make it a romantic weekend. The less clothing, the better, naturally, but it’s more than that, too. There are so many ways to up the romance factor and make your getaway so special, you will never want to return.Here are 10 must-pack items for your ultimate romantic spring getaway:
1. Books: I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but waking up with nothing to do and no one to care for and reading together, intertwined, is probably the most romantic feeling in the world. It just doesn’t get better than that. Read more on The Stir…
A few years ago, I had to swear off dating musicians. I’d been dating them since high school, both casual guitar-noodlers and career musicians who had songs on CW shows and their faces on T-shirts. Again and again I’d fall for the sensitive guitar player who wears eyeliner … and again and again the same patterns would repeat themselves that led to us breaking up. I have nothing but the nicest things to say about most of them as people. Don’t take my swearing-off musicians as a warning, per se. On the contrary, my loss is your gain — the more for you! Just make sure you know these 12 details first. Keep reading »
I have something I need to get off my chest. I’m experiencing pangs of guilt about writing about dating when I’m no longer doing it. I wake up some mornings and feel like I’m the Benedict Arnold of the single population. During my time at The Frisky, I have gone through pockets of non-singleness, but for the most part I have been single and proud to be so, with moments of not-proud-to be so. I’ve written about the ups and downs of that, but mostly, I accepted and embraced singlehood. I cultivated an identity around it.
As much as I griped about having to sleep on the pull-out couch every Christmas (that did genuinely suck), as much as I blamed myself for being single, as much as I kicked and screamed my way through online dating, as many times as I gave up and went on dating hiatuses, the truth is that I liked being single. I liked being free to hang out with friends, or go to hot yoga, or wake up as early as I felt like on a Sunday morning (I never sleep past 8 a.m). I liked reading my books on the subway and always being in charge of what to watch on Netflix live streaming. Season 3 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” at 7 a.m. on Saturday? WERK! I liked making unilateral decisions about everything in my life because, seriously, it’s the height of personal freedom. It’s something that everyone should experience. It’s a state of being to be savored for as long as it lasts. Keep reading »
A few weeks into my relationship with “Ben,” I left town for about two months. The week after we moved in together, I left again. Every couple comes into a relationship with baggage, but mine was a little more literal. I’m a travel writer, and my job sends me on the road regularly. As much as it’s awesome to go to Mexico City or Copenhagen to report stories, my on-and-off travel schedule has made it hard to build relationships. And when it came to building a relationship with a dude I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I had to learn how to make it work – even when “it” was an ocean away.
In some ways, our relationship is just like any other long-distance relationship. We chat on Skype, keep in touch on IM, and make a point of checking in just to talk about normal stuff like what kind of mischief the cat has been up to. But it’s hard to get rid of the guilt I feel when I’m sitting on a beach or in an outdoor café when I know that Ben is chained to his computer at the office or going to boring meetings. Keep reading »
I hate both giving and receiving dating advice, mostly because it isn’t a one-size-fits-all endeavor. But when a younger lady, wet behind the ears on the dating scene, comes to me and asks questions, I feel obligated to share my hard-learned relationship truthisms. Even if they’re harsh. I’m not going to make it all fluffy unicorns. Dating is more like an unpredictable mastodon. Yes, I know she’ll probably ignore me, the young, irreverent laddess that she is, and go do exactly what the hell she wants to do just like I did when I was 19. And she’ll learn on her own, the hard way, the way all of us did, by getting kicked out of the guy-you-think-you’re-in-love-with’s birthday party and then vomiting in a gutter at 5 a.m. Or was that just me? But ohhh, if I can spare her the unnecessary heartache, the unnecessary vomit, the time spent composing unnecessary revenge emails, then dammit, I will give my most valiant effort! If someone had told me these things back then– when I had no idea how shit worked — I would have plugged my ears. So here goes, the things I know are true about dating, even though I wish they weren’t. Take heed. Or feel free to ignore and enjoy the GIFs. You’re going to do what you want to anyone. That’s the truth. Keep reading »
“Excuse me, why do you have the sour bug?”
That’s what a guy once said to me in a bar. I know, I know; you’re totally swooning. If you’re a woman and you’re alive, chances are you’ve been hit on by a Pickup Artist (commonly known as PUAs), by this method known as “negging.”
I always thought of PUAs as nightclub prowlers, dressed like they rummaged through a clown’s closet, decked out in Ed Hardy, looking like a cross between Steven Tyler and The Situation from “Jersey Shore.” I often wondered, Who are these supposed women who found men donning sparkly scarves, multiple rings, and fingerless, leather gloves attractive? I imagine they are the same types of women who still think George Michael is straight. I thought of PUAs as full of canned come-ons, the smell of desperation wafting off of them like bad cologne. Their core problem, I analyzed, was lack of confidence. Common sense would dictate that secure men don’t need a script to approach women. Can you imagine Bill Clinton or Don Draper using PUA methods? I don’t think so.
As you may have deduced from my tone, I always looked down on PUAs and their slimy methods. Which is why I couldn’t stop myself from signing up for a class entitled “Pickup a 10 in the Streets of NYC.” At first I was just curious; I wanted to know what makes these guys tick. I imagined myself as a spy on a reconnaissance mission, collecting information from the enemy. Or like Sigourney Weaver in “Gorillas in the Mist,” studying the species’ every move. Keep reading »
The Frisky HQ is under construction for the next couple of days so I was planning on working from home. Then yesterday, my internet crapped out and I found myself running to the local coffee shop in my pajamas. Six hours later, I was still sitting in my pajamas. It was an interesting day. There was a blind date that I eavesdropped on for a while. I thought that would be the subject of this week’s Dating Don’ts. Then the Boston Marathon bombing happened and the mood turned dark. I sat in silence for a while, watching CNN. My roommate was next to me, because she had the day off of work to study for a grad school exam. She eventually interrupted the silence to confess that she’s been watching that new show “Ready For Love.” Someone needed to cut the tension.
I laughed. But she was like, “Don’t laugh! They had this whole bit about how you should never say the word ‘fart’ on a date. It was interesting.” Then we got into an in-depth discussion about bodily functions and dating. Because these are the things that people sometimes talk about when terrible things happen in the world. Keep reading »