As I mentioned earlier this week, I think fall is the most romantic time of year. Nights are long, the scenery is gorgeous, the drinks are hot, and the weather is perfect for cuddling. Fall is the perfect time to fall in love, but what if you’re already in a long term relationship? Don’t worry! You don’t have to miss out on the fun. Here are 3 easy tips to help you fall in love with your partner all over again, no matter how long you’ve been together… Keep reading »
“As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.” – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Helen Fielding
Right now, I am single by choice. I am focusing on other things besides dating — my career, my health, learning how to get through life without the support of a partner. I am settling into the idea of living alone after exiting a string of long-term relationships and one short-term situation that ended because I found myself with someone out of the panicky fear that unless I made this relationship work, I would die alone. We live in a time where great anxiety builds over which toppings to choose for your chopped salad. The glut of choice, which seems like it surrounds every decision, is amplified when applied to relationships. Right now, being alone feels like the simplest/hardest choice I can make. Keep reading »
Well, it’s officially fall! Even if you don’t live in a place where the weather has made that fact painfully apparent, you can always feel a shift this time of year. Days get shorter, pumpkin spice lattes come out of hibernation at Starbucks, and wild, summer flings are replaced with a love life that is a bit calmer and much, much cuddlier. (How else are we supposed to keep warm?) We think autumn is the perfect time of year to, ahem, fall in love, but it can be tough to come up with fresh dating ideas. If you’ve seen one list of fall dates, you’ve seen them all. It’s like the same 10 ideas have been circulating for the last 100 years. Sure, the standard apple picking, haunted houses and foliage walks can be fun (if your allergies are under control or you enjoy being scared into a near-heart attack), but they’re so played out that we’d be loathe to let you suffer through another dating season filled with cliche ideas. After the jump, some alternatives to the autumn dates you’ve already been there and done. Keep reading »
It’s National Singles Week, so why not take this time to refresh your dating life? After all, the changing of the seasons is always a great time to reassess your well-being. Here are some bad dating and relationship habits to swear off. And if you’re taken, we’ve got some tips for you, too. Read more at Tres Sugar…
Earlier this week, a woman wrote to Betches Love This for advice about a case of “the work weirds.” She complained about a “clingy male coworker” who seems to be paying “special attention” to her:
“He invites me to random parties he hosts, pries into my personal life, and offers to help me with my work (when it’s unnecessary). I always say I’m busy/ignore him/give one word answers but he isn’t getting the message. He will also do things like comment on a phone conversation he overheard me having or talk to me on office communicator while staring at me.”
Although the advice columnist didn’t seem to pick up on it (she suggested that the guy isn’t interested, he’s just weird), it seems pretty obvious to me that this “clingy male coworker” wants to date this woman. Here’s the thing: male/female office relationships can be confusing. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if that dude at work is flirting with you because you spend so many hours sitting next to each other, eating breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner together, that you can become immune to signals. Romantic feelings can easily be mistaken for the kind of intimacy that blossoms when you’re comfortable enough to fart in front of someone. So how can you tell the subtle difference between an office crush and an office husband? I’ve laid out a few behavioral tip-offs so that you can turn that “clingy male coworker” into a committed office husband (seriously! If that’ all he wants, put him to work and have him refill your water bottle!) or let him down gently if he’s crushing and you’re not. Or better yet…if you’re both into each other, go make out with him in the break room right now (but we urge you to consider the pros and cons of dating a coworker first). Keep reading »
This week on Date-Ade – a stream of consciousness advice series for stressed daters — I talk to Rebecca about lightening up the mood in her relationship with the help of clowns.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Are you caught up in a new relationship? Has your humdrum existence been enlivened by late weeknights laying in bed and giggling, or gazing into the eyes of a magical creature? Do you find yourself stunned by the creature’s beauty, dazed by the fact that you’ve found just the right person? Do you spend Sunday mornings making coffee for two, arranging artful piles of the paper on your coffee table and reading with your head on your beloved’s lap and your feet in a sunbeam? Have you forgotten what your friends look like? Congratulations, you’re on Relationship Island! Keep reading »
There were many low points in my eight years (more or less) as a single person. One in particular was in December of 2010, right around my 32nd birthday. Funny that I can’t even remember why it was a low point. Probably because I had created some kind of timeline where I imagined that I should have been in a relationship by that point. To cope with all the hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, panic, frustration and feelings of failure I was experiencing, I wrote an open letter to my single self. Although I didn’t believe it at the time, I gave myself the most awesome advice. To quote myself to myself (how meta), my main point was that I should be patient and do nothing:
“In waiting, you’ve grown impatient at times and have tried to force things that weren’t meant to be, fought too hard for something that you knew was wrong, held on too tight to something that was already dead and gone, or pushed people away out of fear. No more of that. The only thing left for you to do now is NOTHING … Love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will. Accept that it’s a mystery and sit down, shut up, enjoy your freaking life, and patiently wait your turn.”
Keep reading »
Okay, so I’m in a relationship - and I met him online. I swear, 38th time’s the charm, right? Yes, I did keep track. Once you’re in double digits and you keep failing, it seems important to keep count. But Number 38, who eventually became my boyfriend, is great. He’s smart, funny, charming, and when he asked what I’d say about him in this piece, I told him the only thing I’d tell the Internet is that he has a beard.
I may be in a relationship now, but I still have all the single lady advice books I used to consult. I mean,I’m not going to lie; I was definitely a sucker for these books and I sought them out regularly to help me navigate the uncharted waters of the dating pool. In retrospect, it’s amazing how obsessed I was with trying to figure out how to get the man I wanted as if relationships were pieces of Ikea furniture — something that you put together piece by piece. Fortunately, they’re not. I realize that now. Keep reading »
See that red, squiggly thing on Sinead O’Connor’s cheek that looks like a toddler doodled on her with a pen? That’s her new face tattoo and it’s not actually a squiggle. It’s the initials BQ, which stands for Brendan Quinlan. Remember how Sinead started blogging about being single and considering having sex with a yam and then she met someone and married him for 16 days? Well, Brendan Quinlan is not that guy. He’s someone else. At a performance last week, she told the audience that she got her new ink to remind the guy that betrayed her. Then she put up a post on her website that said:
“Face Tattoo…Brendan Quinlan.. ‘It’s what it is’.. Un ange passe ; ) There’s a bottle of Agent Provocateur in someone’s room that belongs to me.”
Keep reading »