Tag Archives: dating tip

Dating Don’ts: Embracing Wabi-Sabi

Dating Don'ts: Control
Dating Don'ts Why Control Is The Enemy Of Love
Control is your enemy when it comes to love. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: To Date
Dating-Don'ts-Choose-To-Be-Alone
You have to choose to date if you're gonna do it. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fatigue
When dating fatigue sets it, it's a bitch. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Embracing Wabi-Sabi

Here is a example of something that happens to people in relationships: we strive for perfection at all costs. Things go well, things are proceeding according to the path you created in your head. Things feel perfect. Your relationship is a glorious jewel of correctness, shining in a world where nothing is right. There have been no arguments, you disagree on nothing and appear to have everything in common. The success of your relationship is a kick in the teeth to all your other problems, it’s the one thing that you can really and truly do right. It’s a contact high of the best kind and you never want it to go away.  The problem with this feeling? The first crack in the veneer sends you into a roiling, spiraling panic. The truth: Perfection is impossible, it is unfeasible, and the struggle to achieve it will be the death of the relationship. Instead of striving for it, try infusing your relationship with some wabi-sabi. Keep reading »

14 Non-Scary Things She Might Mean When She Says “We Need To Talk”

Couples You Know
You're friends with one of these couples. Read More »
Attention Boyfriends
Little Details Women Want Their Boyfriends To Remember
Here are some details worth remembering about your GF. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fighting
Dating Don'ts 7 Kinds Of Default Fighting Styles
What kind of default fighter are you? Read More »
14 Non-Scary Things She Might Mean When She Says "We Need To Talk"

It’s a universal truth that men get freaked the fuck out when a woman utters the phrase, “We need to talk.” (It freaks women out as well, but not to quite the same extent.) If you want to get a guy quivering in his boots, those four words will always do the trick. But WHY? From what men tell me, “we need to talk” signifies extreme relationship danger. To a guy, it’s the verbal equivalent of being hunted by a bear. It’s talk of marriage, babies, cheating or whatever thing you know he doesn’t want to talk about. It makes a guy feel trapped. Boxed in. In trouble. It sends him into an automatic anxiety spiral. I’ve personally retired the phrase at the behest of my boyfriend. “Don’t announce the major convo, just get into it,” he requested. Noted. Keep reading »

Psoriasis & 14 Other Unacceptable Reasons To Dump Someone

According to some new research, the unknown enemy of many a relationship is psoriasis (that skin disorder that Kim Kardashian has). Who knew? I mean, once a guy canceled a date by telling me he “was itching all over.” But I’m pretty sure that was just lie because he ghosted after that. And he definitely didn’t have psoriasis.  Anyhow, the research found that a staggering 25 percent of all psoriasis sufferers claim they were dumped at some point because of their scabby, scaly skin. Of course, the dumpers could have been trying to sugar-coat things when they said: “It’s not you, it’s your psoriasis,” but it’s such an dick-ish things to say that it seems unlikely.

With all the perfectly good reasons to dump someone — they’re untrustworthy, they bore you to tears, they’re life dream is to become a nudist and live off the grid — psoriasis is not anywhere near acceptable. Emotional incompatibility. Fine. Different visions for the future. Sure. Psoriasis. You suck, psoriasis shamers. This gets me thinking, if so many people are getting canned over a totally treatable auto-immune disorder, others must be getting dumped for even stupider reasons. Below, I’ve started a running list of some reasons that are NOT valid for breaking up because I feel like we ought to have one. You’re gonna have to come up with something more substantial, people… Keep reading »

How To Give Your Partner Advice Without Being Super Annoying

Dating Don'ts: Relationships
Dating Don'ts: What Dating Doesn't Teach You About Relationships
Relationship skills are different than the ones you use dating. Read More »
10 Simple Relationship Tips
Relationship tips
These tips might save your relationship! Read More »
Your Problem Or Our Problem?
Your Problem Or Our Problem?
How to answer this crucial question. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fighting
Dating Don'ts 7 Kinds Of Default Fighting Styles
What kind of default fighter are you? Read More »
How to give advice to your partner without being annoying

Here’s the conundrum: the person who you love most in the world wants to talk about an issue. You’re honored, of course, that they’re coming to you with their dilemma, but at the same time, it’s challenging because you know them so well that you can cut straight through the BS and tell them that this isn’t really about their boss, it’s about their control issues with their father and they better address those first. But you can’t say that because they’ll probably want to punch your in the face for being so right. Being right — rather than empathetic — can be awfully annoying when your partner is having a vulnerable moment. But they need your input. What to do? Tread lightly and carry a tiny stick. Meaning, it’s all in the delivery. Here are some tips to help you master one of the most important relationship skills: how to give your SO guidance without pissing them off. Keep reading »

9 Places To Find Singles In Their Natural Habitat

I think we can all agree that when you’re ass-deep in online dating process, the one and only thing that would make you feel better about this digging-through-profiles farce that has become your love life would be to meet an actual, human person you’re attracted to IN REAL LIFE. I’m not saying you should delete your profile  — just that it might be nice to throw real-life dating prospect into the mix every now and then. Chicken soup for the single soul. So, where does the man who goes by the handle Tacos4Two go when he’s not “surfing in South America” or “curling up with his iPad”? Where might you find NetflixLdy when she’s not “watching live-streaming wildlife documentaries”? I mean, she must leave the house every now and again.  Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Why Control Is The Enemy Of Love

Dating Don'ts: To Date
Dating-Don'ts-Choose-To-Be-Alone
You have to choose to date if you're gonna do it. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fighting
Dating Don'ts 7 Kinds Of Default Fighting Styles
What kind of default fighter are you? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Dealbreaker
Dating Don'ts: We're All Just Walking Dealbreakers
We're all just walking dealbreakers. Read More »
Dating Don'ts Why Control Is The Enemy Of Love

Say you’re in a new relationship, and things are going well. There are dinners, there is coffee in bed when you want it, there is sparkling conversation and wit and banter, there are all-consuming exchanges of emotion that leave you revitalized and ready to seize the rest of your lives together. You’ve reached a state of happiness that leaves other relationships in the dark. Finally! A thing that works for me, the way I want it, the way I need it. What have I done to deserve this giant treasure from the universe?

Then, the change comes, like it does in all new relationships. Sun-soaked afternoons in bed are slowly replaced by tense mornings in which every conversation is a power struggle. What was once light and sunshine and butterfly kisses is now a relationship fraught with calculated moves to gain the upper hand. What happened here? How did something that seemed so easy become so complicated? Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Why You Should Choose To Date

Dating Don'ts: Alone
Dating Don'ts: Why You Should Choose To Be Alone
Choose to be alone. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Social Media
Dating Dont's Social Media Etiquette For Every Stage Of Your Relationship
Social media etiquette for various relationship stages. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Online Realities
Some things you might not know about online dating. Read More »
Dating-Don'ts-Choose-To-Be-Alone

Here’s what’s easy:

Sitting in your apartment, doing things that you like to do, justifying this behavior by saying that because it is what you want to do, it is absolutely correct. Rejecting new experiences because they could fail, because you could embarrass yourself or fall on your face or loose a tooth or a shred of dignity. Staying in a rut because it’s comfortable, it feels right, and it’s easier than putting on that pair of pants or wearing those new shoes or doing anything other than the path you picked out for yourself as the only way for you. 

Dating is not fun. It’s not easy. If someone came up to me and told me in earnest that scrolling thru the depths of OKCupid is a fulfilling and mentally engaging activity, I’d gather my things and back away slowly. It feels like work because it is work. Scrolling through matches taps into the muscle memory of the aimless looking for shoes on Zappos or searching your work email for that thing you got last week that you just can’t find. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Click? Scroll. Repeat ad nauseam until you find something that you think might work, with some jiggering, a little tailoring, a tiny nip and tuck. Add to your cart, finish your wine, close your laptop, go to sleep. Keep reading »

5 Ghosts That May Be Haunting Your Relationship

5 Ghosts That May Be Haunting Your Relationship

It’s Halloween and everyone is gearing up with their spookiest stories. Maybe you’ve never experienced a bonafide haunting, but there might be a ghost in your midst and it could be wreaking more havoc than you’d imagine. We’re talking about the deep, dark issues that haunt your relationship — the kind that pop up and scare the crap out of you and your partner on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday evening. From unresolved crap with mom and dad to the emotional affair that’s been eating away at you, no relationship is safe. Happy couples know that the only way to deal with these phantoms, is not to hide in fear, but rather, shine a light on them. Unfortunately, there are no proton packs that will turn your issues into green slime — if only it were that easy! — but here are a few tips for scaring your relationship ghosts out of the dark corners where they lurk. Keep reading »

Here Are The Surprising New Findings From Pew’s Study About Online Dating — In GIFs!

pew online dating study

Online dating is not for the faint of heart. That much I can tell you from personal experience. From the guy who called his own mother a “slut” to the guy who picked a fight with me on our second date, it truly was a wild ride and I’m glad not to be kissing any more Mr. Toads.  You need anecdotal horror stories about online dating, I’m your girl.

But what about the data-driven side of finding wuv online?

Well, the Pew Research Center released a new report today on public attitudes towards online dating and relationships. It asked almost 2,252 ages 18 and up their opinions on Internet romance, comparing many of their questions with the results of past studies. The good news is that online dating is getting increasingly more accepted by society? The bad news?  It’s still dating.  Blech.

Here are some of the surprising new findings from Pew’s study, presented in GIFs! Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Social Media Etiquette For Every Stage Of Your Relationship

Dating Don'ts: The Talk
Dating Don'ts: 5 Good And Bad Times To Have The Talk
When you should and shouldn't have it. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Facebook
You should never post these things on his Facebook page. NEVER. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Alone
Dating Don'ts: Why You Should Choose To Be Alone
Choose to be alone. Read More »
Dating Dont's Social Media Etiquette For Every Stage Of Your Relationship

The rush that comes from infatuation is a drug as powerful and all-consuming as the sadness and white hot rage that follows a breakup. It is in these two extreme states that your desire to consume all you can about a person is at its highest. Through the sorcery of the internet, it’s all at your fingertips. The notion of personal privacy is being constantly redefined, and dating and breaking up in 2013 is unique because of the alarming amount of information that exists on social media. Tearfully scrolling through your ex’s Instagram feed is innocent research, as is giddily plumbing the depths of your crush’s Twitter timeline. Knowledge is power, but use it wisely. Like everything, there are rules. Here are a few to live by.

Keep reading »

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