A few years ago, I had a Big, Terrible Breakup. I’d been living with a guy, whom I loved, wanted to marry and raise kids with. He wanted those things, too, until he didn’t. I hadn’t seen the split coming and felt completely gobsmacked.
I turned around, reactivated my OKCupid profile, and began dating immediately. That turned out to not be such a good idea. I thought I needed to distract myself (and considering I had moved back in with my parents, part of me did need to distract myself) but what I really needed was to heal. Alas, even though I was not ready to date yet in the grander scheme of things, dipping my toe back in the waters showed me there were lots other guys out there. It took me a couple months to admit that there could be someone out there better for me than Ex-Mr. Jessica. But my acceptance wasn’t necessarily due to anything particularly convincing he said while we were breaking up; it came from meeting other guys online who, in integral ways, seemed like they’d be a better fit.
That’s not to say that I limped off my injury gracefully. Not much at all, in fact. I passed many, many months during 2011 mired in bitterness — hurt, resentful, and very angry. Keep reading »
In a world filled with online dating, Tinder, Facebook messages, one-night stands, speed dating, match-making and good old-fashioned true love, where’s a hot bitch to turn to for solid dating advice? Well, why not history? Sure, names and dates and technology changes over time, but human nature doesn’t. If we look back at some hot bitches in history, we can figure out timeless ways to turn a hottie’s head or learn from the devastating mistakes of breakups gone by.
[Illustration of 17th century couple via Shutterstock]
My ex-boyfriend’s parents have been married for years, but they sleep in separate beds. At first, I found this practice strange, a manifestation of a marriage that no longer had the sparkle, one that had become more comfortable and practical than anything else.
I was wrong.
His parents were, in fact, perfectly content, deeply comfortable and happy with each other. Theirs was a long-lasting and functional marriage that ran smoothly on a combination of the comfort of knowing someone very well for a very long time, and the glorious amount of independence they each shared. His mother, an avid fly-fisher and traveller, spent a lot of time out of the country, exploring the world in her retirement. His father disliked travel, and preferred curling up with a good spy novel and the 49ers. She went on her trips, he read his books, and they were happier for it. For me, they were an example of pure success, something to aspire to, the best way to be together and independent. Keep reading »
Oh, boyfriends. While they might always have our best interests at heart, sometimes their adorable efforts to please miss the mark in an epic fashion. Of course we appreciate all the little things they do for us, but when those “favors” include things like putting our favorite dark wash jeans in the dryer or whipping us up a surprise meal that blows our calorie allowance for the month, well, it doesn’t really feel like a favor anymore. Are their happy, “Look what I did for you!” faces totally worth it? Yes, but that doesn’t mean we don’t miss the perfect fit of those jeans. Here are a few examples of kind gestures from boyfriends that, for a variety of reasons, failed to impress. Keep reading »
Say you meet a handsome stranger one night in the corner of a dark bar. He’s visiting from somewhere else, but something clicks and all of a sudden it’s on. After a whirlwind week where you manage to cram in a months’ worth of getting to know you, he leaves, back to his life and you to yours. The inevitable ennui sets in, but before you chalk this up to another fling with no staying power, do yourself a favor: Consider the adult long-distance relationship. Keep reading »
So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our weekly column, Life After Dating, women discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
One of the sad, strange realities about being a couple is that no matter how committed you are to getting along, you will find yourselves fighting about the most seemingly insignificant things. Trust us, even people in the most evolved and tranquil relationships bicker about dirty socks not making it into the hamper. And although they are hard-pressed to admit it, they once had a full-on blowout about the “slightly judgmental tone” one of them used to talk about the other’s best friend. On the surface, conflicts like this might seem trivial and meaningless. But what if that dumb fight isn’t so dumb after all? What if, in the midst of yelling at each other about the way one of you flosses your teeth too frequently (or not often enough), you pause and realize this isn’t really about flossing technique at all, it’s actually about control issues you inherited from your mother? Yikes. Here are some examples of common dumb fights and what they might actually be about… Keep reading »