Tag Archives: dating tip

Dating Don’ts: 7 Things You Shouldn’t Use Valentine’s Day As An Excuse For

Dating Don'ts: Rituals
Pre-date rituals that can go terribly wrong. Read More »
Hell Yeah, I Love You!
Finding love is easy this Valentine's Day. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Disclosure
dating donts divorce
What are you obligated to disclose on your online dating profile? Read More »

When I was in middle school, my school sold these things called Candy Grams the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. For a dollar, a lollipop and a note would be delivered to the person of your choosing on February 14th. I was in luuurrrvvvve with this boy Jesse. He looked like a young Leonardo DiCaprio and his family owned an amusement park and because we did alphabetical seating, he sat behind me in every class. We kind of became friends, meaning he copied all my homework and cheated off of me on tests. Friendship! The only thing I wanted in the whole world was a Candy Gram from Jesse. A thank you for helping him pass 7th grade perhaps? An admission of his love for me? I stayed up every night that week imagining what my Candy Gram from him would say. February 14th came and went. No Candy Gram from Jesse. I got in the car at the end of the day and started to cry. My Grandpa picked me up from school every day. I was sulky and hormonal in that special 13-year-old kind of way and he would try to get me to laugh by pretending like I was on trial and he was presenting my case. I don’t know why exactly, but he was really into this game.

“Ladies and gentleman of the jury…” he would start. I would stare out the window with my arms crossed or roll my eyes. So, on Valentine’s Day, I got in the car and he started. “Ladies and gentleman of the jury, today we are here to determine why this beautiful young lady is crying…” Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 3 Pre-Date Rituals That Can Go Terribly Wrong (And How To Fix Them)

Dating Don'ts: Cheating
It's not your fault you got cheated on. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Disclosure
dating donts divorce
What are you obligated to disclose on your online dating profile? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: "Girls"
You shouldn't do these things with your ex. Read More »

They say no good deed goes unpunished, and I agree. I’ve seen plenty of evidence in my own life: For example, one time, I baked a pie for my then-boyfriend, and his two best friends. They were coming over to watch the Oscars, and I said, “Oh, great! I’ll make a pie.”

“Great!” he said.

My then-boyfriend and his friends planned a boys’ afternoon out. They’d have their afternoon out, then pick up food for dinner. Tacos? Pizza? Chinese? We decided on pizza.  We’d all reconvene later at my place for pizza, pie, and Oscars.

But then they arrived, all three of them, having picked up individual pizzas for themselves, and having forgotten to get one for me. This may – may – have been forgivable, if they’d made an appropriate apology, and offered to run out in that moment to pick me something up. But no. The boyfriend’s friends shrugged and said, “Oh, crap. Sorry.” When they finished their pizzas – each man offered me a sliver of their own – they left all the garbage of their takeout food strewn across the kitchen table. It sat there even as they waved goodbye, and escorted themselves out. I turned to my boyfriend, desperate for some acknowledgement of how absurd his friends’ behavior had been. He just shrugged, though, like boys will be boys, and turned back toward the TV. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Divorce & Other Facts You Must Disclose On Your Online Dating Profile

Dating A Divorced Man
The pros and cons of dating a man who's already been down the aisle. Read More »
Dates Vs. Non-Dates
If its planned less than 24 hours in advance, it's not a date. Read More »
Single Lamentations
16 things single people need to stop saying, as told in GIFs. Read More »
Matchmaking Tips
8 tips for setting up your friends. Read More »
dating donts divorce

Let me make this clear: I don’t have a problem with dating a divorced man. No problem at all.

What I do have a problem with is when a divorced man isn’t up front about it.

Menfolk of the world, I’m going to lay down some real talk right now: if your online dating profile doesn’t disclose that you are divorced, the moment you explain you are really “divorced” and not just “single,” I immediately think you are acting shady. Even if you weren’t trying to hide it! Even if you just married her so she could get a green card! Even if you have been divorced so long you’ve forgotten her middle name!  Keep reading »

Sinead O’Connor Only Dates Men With Dead Mothers

Sinead's Wedding
The 2011 amfAR Inspiration Gala Los Angeles
Sinead O'Connor's wedding announcement blew our minds. Read More »
Super Short Marriages
Sinead O'Connor and her dude split after only18 days. Read More »
Sex With A Yam?
Sinead O'Connor blogs about sex with a yam. Read More »

“You’re not allowed to talk about sex in Ireland. The last four boyfriends I’ve had, their mothers have refused to meet me because I wrote articles about sex. Now I have a rule: I don’t go out with anyone whose mother isn’t dead.”

– Okay, so Sinead O’Connor is a little nuts. But tell me this isn’t good advice for us sex writers. Just date men who don’t have mothers who can Google!

(But real talk, Sinead? I don’t think these mothers wouldn’t meet you because you wrote articles about sex. They wouldn’t meet you because you wrote about sex with a yam.) [Irish Central] [Photo: Splash News]

Dating Don’ts: How To Tell Dates From Non-Dates

Dating Don'ts: "Girls"
You shouldn't do these things with your ex. Read More »
R.I.P. Courtship?
Is courtship really dead? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Canceling
Don't cancel plans this way. Read More »

So, I’ve still been thinking a lot about the New York Times’ assertion that courtship has kicked the bucket. I jotted down some thoughts about that. You can read them here. One point that the piece makes that I agree with is that lots of daters out there — men and women both — are unclear about the difference between a date and a non-date. Let’s review a few “dating experiences” cited in the piece… Keep reading »

Men Who Go Out Of Their Way To Describe Themselves As “Good Guys” Make Me Suspicious

Crazy Blind Dates
Would you let OKCupid set you up on a "Crazy Blind Date"? Read More »
Things To Tell Your Ex
13 things you want to tell your ex, but never will. Read More »
Courtship Isn't Dead
Courtship isn't dead, it's just taking a nap. Read More »
date

Earlier this morning, I was reading a piece on How About We’s blog The Date Report about men who are “serial daters” thanks to the ease of online dating web sites. Blogger Justin Rocket Silverman wrote about a piece in The Atlantic by Dan Slater called “A Million First Dates” which argues that online dating allows people the ability to act like kids in a candy store.  Some men feel they can easily discard women or brush off getting dumped , because there’s always the chance someone “better” is waiting for them online (AKA “Bigger-Better Syndrome”). Keep reading »

Chivalry Makes Women Suspicious, Says Dubiously Sourced Study

I Like Chivalry
On Jessica's newfound respect for men who behave chivalrously. Read More »
Pay For Pretty Dates
man pays on dates photo
Men are more inclined to foot the dinner bill if their date is pretty, study finds. Read More »
Chivalrous Moves We Like
10 chivalrous moves that don't creep women out. Read More »

Okay, I’m pretty sure that the UK’s Daily Mail just makes shit up. But I am fairly sure that chivalry died one morning a month ago, when a man shoved me out of the way at the subway station to run up the stairs ahead of me. So even if this Daily Mail piece claiming “research” suggests women are suspicious of chivalrous men because our manners have coarsened so much is bullshit, I’m included to believe there’s an element of truth to it. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: How Do You Handle Your Relationship Issues?

Guy Talk: Friendzone
What guys need to know about the friendzone. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Guy Talk: Waiting
No man is worth waiting for. Really. Read More »

Let’s say you and your significant other are having an issue—one that isn’t a relationship killer, but is serious enough that it can’t be ignored. How do you deal with it?

Here’s what I do: I go into a mental huddle. I sit down, by myself, and I replay the situation in my head. I think about what exactly I might be frustrated with, what would need to happen for this frustration to go away, and what steps I can take to get myself there. Next, I think about what the issue might be for her, what exactly she might be frustrated with, and what an acceptable solution might be for her. From there, I decide how best to tackle the issue. Only then am I ready to talk about it. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: It’s Not Your Fault He Cheated

Guy Talk: Cheating
This guy doesn't regret cheating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Grateful
Don't forget to be grateful. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Hiatus
Enjoy your hiatus. Don't do the following... Read More »

It’s not your fault he cheated. (Guys, same goes for you. It’s not your fault she cheated.) Cheating is not the fault of the cheatee. Are we all clear on that? You didn’t cause it. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Yes, it was probably a symptom of a problem in the relationship, but cheating is not the appropriate way to handle such problems. People who cheat are selfish cowards.

I say this as a person who cheated once. I’m not proud of it. It happened when I was much younger, when I was too scared to talk about the doubts I was having about the relationship. It wasn’t my boyfriend’s fault. He did nothing wrong. I was the asshole with the bad coping skills. I’ve grown up since then. I’ve learned how to talk about my feelings. I would never cheat on anyone again because I understand why it’s not the right thing to do. It doesn’t solve any problems, it only creates more. I don’t consider myself a dishonest person for having cheated, but I do think I was a misguided person at the time.

I’m making this confession, not for sympathy, but in response to this article I came across called “10 Ways To Keep Him From Cheating.” Making it even more offensive is the fact that this piece was written by a licensed relationship counselor. She says:

“Most men do not cheat because they don’t love you anymore. Men cheat because they want more variety in their sex lives. Some complain of being bored. They want to feel adored by their partners; they want to assert their freedom; they are tired of disappointing you; they want a partner who places them at the center of their life, and they no longer feel like the priority in yours.”

Keep reading »

16 Things Single People Need To Stop Saying As Told In GIFs

Our Year In Dating
As told in pop culture GIF form. Read More »
Secret Single Behavior
The 20 things we're kind of ashamed that we do when we're alone. Read More »
Degrees Of Singleness
Where do you fall on the spectrum? Read More »

I’m not big on the whole New Year’s resolution thing, but I do make a point to clean house every January. This year, my house is single. So, while I’m hiatusing, I am giving my outlook on singledom a scrub down. That means I am getting into every nook and cranny of negativity and trying to approach love from a place of abundance rather than a place of scarcity. In simple terms: I am putting the kibosh on single, self-flagellation. Starting with those played out lines I hear myself, and some of my friends saying. We don’t have to push ourselves to be coupled, but goddammit, at the very least, let’s push ourselves to stop being so cliche. Keep reading »