Tag Archives: dating tip

Dating Don’ts: We’re All Just Walking Dealbreakers

Dating Don'ts: Career
Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend's Isn't
What to do when yours is blowing up and his isn't. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Celebrity
Dating Don'ts: 4 Things You Shouldn't Do If You're Dating A Celebrity
Do the normal rituals apply when you're dating a famous person? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: We're All Just Walking Dealbreakers

The other day, I made a list of every guy I’ve ever dated seriously, dated a couple times, dated until I got the “Oh no, there’s been an emergency and I must leave immediately!” phone call, or made out with and never actually dated at all.

To put it simply, the list was rather lengthy. Like, extremely lengthy. In doing this, I realized that every single one of these guys had some kind of dealbreaker. Obviously, because I’m still single. There was the guy who wanted to get married after the first date. There was the guy who gave me mono and literally ran away from me when I tried to talk to him about it, which was pretty rude considering I had mono and couldn’t really run after him. The list goes on. I could write about these dealbreakers forever, and I probably will because a lot of them are hilarious. But there’s a problem.

It occurred to me that while I’ve often been the one to do the breaking up/ignoring until they get the hint and go away, it hasn’t always been my call. Could it be that — gasp! — I’m not perfect either? As much crap as I give the guys I’ve dated, I’m just as guilty of being a weirdo as they are. What if, on some website in some alternate universe where guys write publicly about their feelings, one of the guys on my really long list wrote about the dealbreakers he discovered when it came to dating me? Here are some ideas for him, so he doesn’t have to work too hard to finish his blog post: Keep reading »

A Step-By-Step Guide To Comforting Your Crying Girlfriend

On Crying
A writer talks about a time when everyone saw her cry. Read More »
Why We Cry
Here are things that make us sob uncontrollably. Read More »
Crying In Public
Here are some things to think about if you're trying not to cry in public. Read More »
A Step-By-Step Guide To Comforting Your Crying Girlfriend

Let’s talk about crying. Specifically, about the awkward dynamic that occurs when you’re crying hysterically and your boyfriend is sitting there looking trapped, but not in a “bitches be cray,” kind of way. He’s looking at you like he’s scared because he loves you and he wants to help you feel better but he’s not sure what to do. Only you don’t want any kind of help, all you want is comfort — especially if you’re in the throes of a hormonal crying jag. Those are the worst because they come on suddenly and can be set off by something as small as running out of toothpaste and make you feel inordinate amounts of embarrassment. I’m crying and I have no idea why!?

Trying to figure out why only makes you cry harder and then the boyfriend feels more helpless, because even though he may be a super sensitive dude, the only time he cried in the last decade was when his grandmother died. It’s not that he doesn’t feel crappy enough to cry. He just expresses it differently. Crying, for him, is a last resort type of thing and it’s always pegged to a specific event. He doesn’t get that crying for you, is like cleaning gunk out of drain –if you don’t do it every now and then, the drain will get clogged. So there he is getting frustrated by how inept he feels and you end up having to comfort him. No really, I’m fine, just leave me alone and let me cry my fucking brains out. Sound familiar?It probably does. What he needs a step-by-step guide for how to handle you when you’re in the throes of a crying jag. We thought we’d help out. Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 1: On Ducks, Dishonesty & That Weird Thing Your Boyfriend Said

Date-Ade Episode 1: On Ducks, Dishonesty & That Weird Thing Your Boyfriend Said
Date-Ade: Meditations For Stressed Daters

In my years of writing at The Frisky, I think I’ve mentioned (numerous times) that canned dating advice drives me crazy. Love and relationships are not a one-size-fits-all pair of shoes. All of our feet are different! Often our sex and relationship dilemmas are more existential in nature and can’t be solved with a simple how-to list. Every now and then, I get a letter from a Frisky reader (or a friend) asking for love advice. I admittedly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve found that I give the best advice when I share my own stories — as weird as they may be — and offer empathy. Inspired by Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts, my new video series Date-Ade offers mini stream of consciousness meditations for stressed daters.

If you have a sex,dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send me your questions at date-ade@thefrisky.com.

Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend’s Isn’t

Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: He's Back!
Why you should be wary when you hear from him unexpectedly. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Negging
Just say no to negging! Read More »
Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend's Isn't

Remember that episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie got a big advance for her book while her boyfriend, Jack Berger, watched his flounder? He was so jealous of her success! And he didn’t want to be that guy! As much as “SATC” got basically every single thing about relationships wrong, they still managed to kind of nail this one. Sometimes you are dating that guy, and you are that woman. Your career is on the up and up, while he’s either stuck in a job with no mobility, or straight up unemployed.

We live in a time when women are increasingly likely to be the sole breadwinners in their families and, in some career paths, we even get paid as much or more than our male colleagues. Which is awesome. It’s exactly what we wanted.

But it can also cause tension in relationships because, to be honest, we haven’t really collectively agreed on how to deal with the shift; women have been conditioned to behave as if men have more money, more career ambition, and more promise, even as statistics prove that is less and less likely to be the case. Below are some tips for how to deal when you’re blowing up, but the person you’re dating isn’t. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Guys You’ll Wish You Had Gone Out With In College

Schooled! Week
Schooled 2013
We've got you covered for college. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Guys
Dating Don'ts: The Danger In Being Just One Of The Guys
As in, just one of the guys. Why you shouldn't try to be one. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Just One
All it takes is one good date. Read More »
Awkward Guys Rule
Here are some reasons to love awkward dudes. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Guys You'll Wish You Had Gone Out With In College

I started out my college dating career the way most girls do: with a boyfriend back home that I tried to breakup with before I left, but couldn’t quite go through with it. When I said goodbye to Danny* at the airport, he pushed a fishnet-gloved palm up against the glass (this was in the days when you could still walk people to the gate) and sobbed as I boarded a plane to NYC. I wasn’t crying, at least, not until I got to my dorm and realized that I was going to be crazy lonely. I called Danny and tried to sell him on keeping things going long distance. He agreed. It wasn’t until I met my (still to this day) best friend on the front steps of my dorm later that week and she also had a boyfriend back home she was trying to give the slip (also named Danny), that we mutually worked up the courage to dump our Dannys.

A free woman, my college dating career devolved into a series of mistakes wherein I consistently said YES to the wrong guys and NO to the right ones. I could roll the list out before you like double ply toilet paper: the guy with the infected tongue ring, the prematurely balding guy who invited me over to his dorm room to watch a James Bond movie (translation: try to get me to blow him), the guy in the wheelchair (who was really amazing until he left me for a girl who ended up moving in across the hall from me), the much older alcoholic who worked at a nightclub, the guy who told me I was “maladroit” when I fell off the hammock on his dorm balcony and then gave me a copy of Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil to read if we were “ever going to get along,” the guy who left me for a porn star while I was studying abroad, the boyfriend who told me he was going on a road trip to New Mexico and then I never heard from him again. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 5 Things That Can Go Terribly Wrong On Tinder And Grouper

Dating Don'ts: Phases
The Breakup Phase You Never Saw Coming
The breakup phase you didn't see coming. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Online Realities
Some things you might not know about online dating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Everything That Can Go Wrong On Tinder And Grouper

When meeting people in real life became too much work, we went online to date. When online dating becomes tedious (and it pretty much already has), what’s next? We date through apps, obviously. After all, why spend hours combing through various online profiles, when you can just tap a button on your phone? If you haven’t heard of Grouper or Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, then… you’re clearly in a happy relationship.

Pshh. I’ll explain: Grouper is like a group blind date; you fill out a short questionnaire and it sets you and two friends up with three guy friends who are revealed at a given location. Other apps like Tinder show you pictures of potential matches that you can choose to like or pass, and mutual “likes” become grounds for further contact. And while there are positives to such dating formats, like maximizing potential suitors with minimal effort and taking screen shots and sending them to your friends for giggles, in the end, they’re all just as bad, or even worse, than putting in your time on OKCupid. Let’s flesh out all the things that can go wrong with these apps, shall we? Keep reading »

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