I have stumbled upon a dating conundrum that I cannot figure out on my own. I don’t need to consult an advice columnist, or my friends or therapist. I need to hear from the people of the world at large who have been through this and have practical pearls of wisdom to bestow upon me.
So here’s the dilemma: The other night I was out with some friends … wait let me back up. Here’s what you should know: This dinner bunch is a tight circle of friends. We work in the same field and our bond is not only personal, it’s professional. One of the members of this group is a guy that has been a close friend of mine for the last two years. I have always sensed some attraction on both of our ends at different times throughout our friendship, but neither of us have ever acted on it at all. Never in any overt way, at least. Over the past couple of years, we’ve become really, really close, sharing stuff about our families, dating lives, professional lives and personal lives. This guy probably knows more about me than most of my closest friends. Keep reading »
Think of the best first date you ever went on.
Got it? Okay, what did you do immediately afterwards?
If you’re like some women I’ve been out with, you called up your best friend and gushed all about the date. You even posted a not-so-subtle status update on Facebook. Something along the lines of, “Just had an AMAZING night!”
Now, here’s my next—and more important—question:
Before you gushed to your best friend, before you flaunted your euphoria all over Facebook, did you ever stop to consider how your date might have felt about that “amazing” night?
One scenario I encounter frequently on dating advice sites is the woman who goes on a fabulous first date, only to find herself confused when she never hears from that guy again. So, she’s left to wonder … What happened?
“The date went so well. We had so much fun and clicked so amazingly. He was hot and charming and intelligent. I was hot and charming and intelligent. He couldn’t take his eyes off me the whole night So… why didn’t he call again?!” Keep reading »
Ever sense that your special date is too focused on fun to settle down in a relationship? Does your date say and do everything right–except commit to a relationship?
“Everybody plays the fool, sometimes,” sings Aaron Neville in his hit song.
There’s a big difference between feeling like a fool in love and being played as a fool in a dating relationship.
In our tribe, we call these magnetically attractive and emotionally risky dates, “Pioneers”, since they’re always after greener trails.
Pioneers often are recently divorced or “free again” after a big break up, when they enter a phase of chasing pleasure in serial dating. Read more …
You, single woman out there in the dating world, be prepared. For you are going to get bombs dropped on you. The person you are dating has baggage and not all of it is adorable. Every person has unflattering moments in their dating past. Everyone has suffered hardships in their lives. You may find yourself in a situation where you are hit with a revelation you weren’t ready for. Whether it comes up naturally in conversation, you ask the wrong question, or it slips out of his mouth after the second glass of wine, at some point, your date is going to tell you something about himself that may catch you off guard. Ideally, you won’t find out that he broke off an engagement a few months before the wedding until your fourth or fifth date, but you made a joke about getting married on date two, and WHOOMP, there it is. How you react to the baggage bomb is EVERYTHING. Don’t run for cover. Don’t write him off. This is an opportunity to build trust with this person and get to know him better. After the jump, some tips for surviving baggage bombs. Keep reading »
Ladies! Hello! I know I’m three and half months early for Halloween, but that doesn’t matter. Why not grab the bull by the horns, and start talking scare tactics? Scare tactics for your boyfriend, that is. Now, as to why you’d want to scare your boyfriend, where even to begin? He misbehaved? He was rude? He scared you? You’re bored and need something to do? You have your reasons. I’ll warn you beforehand, what I’ve done here is a bit of research among friends, women I know, and have known, and who will, of course, remain anonymous. I’ve asked what things they’ve done to scare their boyfriends, both intentionally and not. The lessons I’ve learned have been compiled and included below for your own edification. Happy scaring the piss out of your man! Keep reading »
One of the most effective ways to initiate communication and let a guy know you are interested is by flirting with him.Flirting demonstrates your confidence and lets the guy see your intriguing, feminine side. However, flirting can backfire or take you in an unintended direction if not done correctly. The following are seven flirting mistakes you should avoid:
1. Playing games. Playing mind games or playing “hard to get” are never good. It may work here and there, but guys with any level of self-respect will not keep chasing a girl who plays games. If you are interested in a guy, show him you are interested or he will move on.
2. Being disrespectful. Sarcasm and humor can be effective tools when flirting. Humor keeps the discussion relaxed and sarcasm can show him your fiesty side. However, you want to be careful not to be mean-spirited. You don’t want to offend him or embarrass him in front of other people. Teasing a guy about something he says or does is different than challenging his manhood. Read more …
Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment.
If you’re going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ability to step outside yourself and get into someone else’s head and heart (even just a little), your connections instantly improve.
Single men carry around old baggage and wounds just like we do. They’ve accumulated their fair share of dating and relationship bumps and bruises; in fact, they’ve probably had more. Think about it: they’ve been the ones responsible for putting themselves out there first since they were teenagers. Ouch. Talk about rejection. Read more …
Disclaimer: If you’re reading this right now and have the urge to put your love interest’s pet in a pot of boiling water, stop reading and seek professional help immediately. This is not for you. This is for everyone else in the world, for we’ve all had bunny boiling moments. Please don’t even front like you’ve never behaved like an insane person in your dating life. Every single one of us, with the exception of PERFECT PEOPLE or those who are not yet old enough to have experienced temporary romantic insanity, have had off-the-richter scale embarrassing bunny boiling moments. Whether motivated by excessive drunkenness,insane jealousy, crippling insecurity, the aftermath is always the same. Mortifying. We shall not dwell on why you stalked your ex and showed up at the karaoke bar to confront him and his new girlfriend (that’s for you and your therapist to discuss), we want to talk about how to recover from the incident with your dignity intact. One incident of bunny boiling does not make you a psycho a la Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction,” it makes you a human being who made a mistake that you now need to atone for. Some suggestions after the jump. Keep reading »
Some people are good at relationships. They meet potential partners with effortless ease wherever they go—on the subway, in the elevator at work, on line at the grocery store. They strike up conversations with men in bars, get fixed up by friends, and actually enjoy (ugh!) online dating. The people they encounter are emotionally available and commitment-ready, and they sail smoothly into monogamous relationships as if on command.
And then there are those who are more relationship challenged. Mystified by how to transform a Match.com profile into a boyfriend or how to meet a guy who’s not a total commitmentphobe. You probably feel like you’re trapped in an ’80s movie, forever destined to be on the outside, looking longingly in at all the couples with their hands resting in the back pocket of each other’s acid-washed jeans. How do they do it? you wonder, as you force yourself to “put yourself out there” yet again, gritting your teeth through another brutal bout of online dating.
If the relationship you so desperately desire keeps remaining just out of reach, there may be internal blocks to intimacy standing in your way. Rather than muscling through an endless barrage of bad dates and painful, short-lived relationships, take a time out to identify any deep-seated beliefs and counter-productive patterns that could be holding you back. Click through for barriers that might be sabotaging your relationship efforts—and how to kiss them goodbye.
Jennifer Garam is a Brooklyn-based blogger, freelance writer, and teacher who writes the blogs One Writeous Chick and NotSoZen YogaJen. You can follow her on Twitter at @writeouschick.
Internet dating: isn’t it fun? It can be if know how to have fun with it. Don’t just sit back and wait for people to contact you. If you are male or female (especially if you’re female) reach out and contact the people you find attractive. It’s a whole different world of dating today.
What I tell my clients is to think of Internet dating like a huge single’s party. Let’s say you were looking around the room and someone caught your eye. You could never be sure who noticed whom first. Maybe the other person had been checking you out seconds earlier. The thing is to hook that other person’s attention and create a spark so they he or she will want to talk to you. It’s the same with the Internet. All you want to do is get the other person’s attention and make them want to know more. Read more …