Internet dating: isn’t it fun? It can be if know how to have fun with it. Don’t just sit back and wait for people to contact you. If you are male or female (especially if you’re female) reach out and contact the people you find attractive. It’s a whole different world of dating today.
What I tell my clients is to think of Internet dating like a huge single’s party. Let’s say you were looking around the room and someone caught your eye. You could never be sure who noticed whom first. Maybe the other person had been checking you out seconds earlier. The thing is to hook that other person’s attention and create a spark so they he or she will want to talk to you. It’s the same with the Internet. All you want to do is get the other person’s attention and make them want to know more. Read more …
We all get into romantic ruts sometimes. Maybe we’re busy working hard, or we’re traveling a lot, or it just seems like we happen to be circulating in the same crowd and spending all of our time with the same people. Honestly, whose love life couldn’t use a little nudge in a more exciting direction?
Luckily, giving your love life a boost no longer requires making huge, scary moves like setting up an online dating profile, scheduling a bunch of awkward dinner-and-a-movie outings, or begging all your friends to set you up on dates with their single guy friends. This is because we are now living in a post-dating world, where people are connecting (and falling in love!) via more … ambiguous avenues. They are getting to know each other on not-quite-romantic-but-not-quite-platonic non-dates, exploring their connections via e-communication, and feeling sparks of potential, excitement and love with the people in their gaggle.
What is your gaggle? Your gaggle is the group of guys in your life who you might not be “dating,” but who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and help you figure out who you are, what you want and what kind of relationship you ultimately desire. Any time you feel the slightest spark of connection with a guy, no matter how quick or undefined or unexpected, he’s in your gaggle. Keep reading »
There’s nothing worse than a dater with loose lips. While I totally understand the impulse to seek dating advice or share the blow-by-blow of your love life with close friends or family members, I urge you to do so with extreme caution. I strongly feel that dating should be conducted with as much dignity and discretion as one can muster. I know, it’s hard sometimes when FEELINGS are involved. Oh FEELINGS. I have ended up in too many uncomfortable situations because of my own inability to keep my mouth shut. I’ve also had the misfortune of dating a couple of dudes who had no idea how to keep our private business under wraps. So let this be a reminder to them and me and to all of you: Don’t let your FEELINGS overtake your COMMON SENSE. Think before you speak about someone you dated, especially if you have friends or colleagues in common. Not only does it make you look bad to be running your mouth and burning up Facebook and Twitter about your dating escapades, but on the off chance that it gets back to him or her (and it always does), it could really hurt someone’s FEELINGS even more. After the jump, some hard and fast rules for making sure you aren’t undatable because of your big mouth. Keep reading »
In all my dating years, I never thought much about kissing styles, and never put much weight into a great first kiss. But recently, I’ve had a couple of experiences that leave me wondering … how important is kissing compatibility?
In my opinion, most first kisses are a little awkward. I think it’s natural to need a little practice before two sets of lips can find their perfect rhythm. And I would never deny a guy a second date because he kissed outside the lines, or because we clumsily knocked teeth. (I would wonder, however … “Is his mouth just that much bigger than mine? Or, does he have very big teeth?”) Read more …
A study done at the University of Hertfordshire found that when it comes to love, it behooves you to (as Oprah instructs) “fake it until you make it.” Professor Richard Wiseman used a team of 100 speed daters as their guinea pigs. One hundred speed dates? That sounds exhausting! Anyhow, what he discovered was that people who acted all lovey-dovey — making googley eyes, pawing at one another, whispering sweet nothings — were more likely to want to see each other again (for more than their allotted three minutes) than the speed daters who played it cool. Keep reading »
The really crappy thing about being ghosted or suddenly dumped or inexplicably ditched by a guy you were dating is that it leaves the door open for him to contact you in the future. In the meantime, you are forced to fill in the blanks about what went wrong and wonder if you’ll ever find out. After more than 15 years on the dating circuit, I am going to share a nugget with you: You will almost always hear from him again, he who made a not-so-graceful exit from your life. And it will be when you least expect it. Keep reading »
Judd Apatow is the latest grown-ass man to answer teenaged girls’ dating questions for Rookie Mag, the online mag by style blogger Tavi Gevinson. While he’s not as easy on the eyes as fellow advice video-columnist Jon Hamm, he has the advantage of having two adolescent girls at home: Maude, 13, and Iris, 8. Judd wants you to know boys do gossip, you should never change yourself for anyone, and that you can’t breakup with someone without making them said. Your mom could probably tell you all the same stuff, but somehow its more palatable hearing it from the guy who made “Knocked Up.” [Vimeo]
I am officially, unofficially implementing a new rule for coupled people everywhere. Please, please, please if you are spoken for, you must mention it within five minutes of having a flirty conversation with me. I am forever meeting men in social situations (I’m sure ladies do this too, so feel free to chime in guys) who will sit and talk to me for 15 minutes, half hour, sometimes even longer, will go so far as to get my number or give me theirs and wait until the very last second that we’re saying good bye to inform me that they are in a relationship or even married. On occasion, these guys have neglected to mention said girlfriend/fianceé/ wife until our first — what I believed to be — date! Come on now, people! Not cool. Keep reading »
When my friend’s husband hit on me, I wish I could say I slapped his face, told him to f**k off and stormed away. Instead, I stood there in shock. After a really awkward goodbye, I got into my car and cried. A lot. It wasn’t just the fumbling attempt at a cheap thrill. No, it was his full revelation he had newfound “sexual feelings for me.” How cringe-worthy is that statement?
His confession started with details about how long he’d been attracted to me, dirty thoughts he’d had about me and ended with him grabbing my face and trying to kiss me. All I could think about was his wife, a dear friend, and what it would mean for our friendship. In the end, it ruined it. Because when a married man hits on one of his wife’s friends, it is an altogether horrid situation. Should you ever find yourself with this problem, here are some suggestions for how to deal with it with as much dignity as possible.
Keep reading »