Tag Archives: dating tip

7 Signs That You’re The One Who’s Emotionally Unavailable

After years of unsuccessful attempts at dating, you’ve finally isolated your problem: unavailable men. If only you could find a guy who wasn’t a total commitmentphobe, you’d be in the relationship you’ve always desired. So the solution then, is simple: stop dating unavailable men.

Or maybe it’s not that easy. Perhaps you’ve heard the theory tossed around that if you’re attracted to unavailable people, that’s a sign that you’re unavailable, too. But surely this can’t apply to you. After all, you want to be a relationship. You’re not the one who’s afraid of making more than one plan a week with your significant other or declaring your relationship status via Facebook—it’s the guys you date who can’t even commit to texting with consistency. Keep reading »

Unavailable Perks
There are perks to dating an unavailable man. Read More »
Bad Dating Habits
Us ladies are not immune to fouling up a date... Read More »

Dating Don’ts: 7 Times When “I Love You” Doesn’t Count

Dating Don'ts: Injury
If you're not fit to date, get off the playing field. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Exclusivity
How not to approach exclusivity. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Girlproof!
Girlproofing your apartment is very important. Read More »

The phrase “I love you” — despite endless debates about who should say it first and how often it should be said — only holds as much significance as the person saying it assigns to the phrase. Yes, say it if you feel like it and not because you expect to hear it in return. We’d never begrudge anyone the wonderfulness of falling in love and screaming it from the mountaintops. But because so much importance has been placed on such a little phrase, the extra pressure only increases our probability of fucking it up. We’ve all said “I love you” at the wrong times, for the wrong reasons and wished for a do-over. Oh, the potential that phrase has to make things so, so awkward, especially in a new relationship. Don’t beat yourself up. Accidental “I love yous” happen all the time. Don’t let three little words blurted out at an inopportune moment ruin the good thing you have going on. After the jump, seven instances when “I love you” doesn’t count … unless you want it to.
Keep reading »

Why You Can’t Find A Good Man

When I was single, the reason I couldn’t find a good man was my habit of “wishful hoping.” I am long past that now, but as a coach I find “wishful hoping” is probably one of the key factors that make finding your true love take so long.

“Wishful hoping” is very similar to being in a state of longing. You may understand it better if I share with you this definition of longing by Gay Hendricks:

“Longing is a persistent lingering feeling of wanting something you can’t quite get or something you’ve judged unattainable.” Read more …

Why You Should Date More Than One Guy At A Time

So many of my clients ask me whether they should date more than one man at a time. As their search for love heats up, suddenly there are a few guys who are interested and they don’t know how to handle it. The other scenario is that they fall in love too quickly with one guy and end up heartbroken time after time. Have either of these situations happened to you?

When I was looking for love, I often dated up to three guys simultaneously. I wasn’t trying to hit some number in the Guinness Book of World Records. Rather, my goal was simple: to find a guy I could date more than three times, hoping this would lead to a relationship.

Frequently, men would drop out after one, two or three dates. Since there was no way to know who would stick around, I dated as many guys as I was interested in at the same time. That’s why I’m an advocate for “volume dating.” I dated 30 men in 15 months in order to eventually meet my husband. Read more …

8 Myths About Dating Older Men Debunked

When I met the older man I briefly dated, I’d been drinking. And being that we all make bad decisions once we’ve had a few, I gave him my number. My real number. If I’d known that he was two years younger than my (gasp!) mother, I probably would have given him fake digits digits instead. But I was deceived. This dude was incredibly well-preserved and rolling with some friends who appeared to be about my age. There was no way I could have guessed how much older he was.

He bought me a beer and asked me my age.

“Twenty-six,” I answered. And at that moment, it seemed appropriate to ask his age. So I did, and I got a mysterious answer: “Guess.”

I guessed. “Thirty-one?” No. “Thirty-four?” No. “Twenty-five?” No.  Keep reading »

Older Men, Younger Women
Do all older men want a much young girlfriend? Read More »
Dating Dont's:Age
How not to handle an age difference. Read More »

Guy Talk: The Real Reason Women Shouldn’t Make The First Move

Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Guy Talk: Romantics
Guys can be hopeless romantics too. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Kiss
One guy talks about making the first move. Read More »

Maybe you catch him standing at the other end of the bar, slyly checking you out. Maybe you met him before and flirted with him, but he never asked for your phone number. Or, maybe you’ve already hung out with him a few times, but a casual arm flung over your shoulders is about the extent of the physical contact he’s made so far.

So, you saunter over to him and say hi.

Or, the next time you see him, you say, “So, are you ever going to ask for my phone number?”

Or, as you’re sitting on the couch next to him, streaming yet another movie on Netflix, you turn to look him in the eyes, and you decide to just go for it and kiss him.

Like that daydreaming moron you’re stuck behind at the busy intersection, these are the guys who make you throw your arms up in the air and yell, “You’ve got the green light! Just go already!”

Yes, there are a lot of timid guys out there.

But now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Timid guys aren’t as numerous as you may think. In fact, that cute guy who flirts with you and acts interested, but never actually does anything about it, can turn out to be a totally different breed of guy. He’s not timid, or awkward, or nervous. He’s manipulating you.

Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How Not To Approach Exclusivity

Dating Don'ts: Not Your Ex
The new guy is not your ex. Read More »
Not Quite Exclusive
Here are some types of pre-exclusive relationships. Read More »
Dating Don'ts:Girlproofing
Girlproofing your apartment is very important. Read More »

You know that stupid saying, “assuming makes an ass of you and me”? I hate that saying, it’s annoying, but in the case of dating, it’s true. You may be having omigodtheverybesttimeofyourlife dating this new and wonderful creature. You may be spending every weekend at his place and making stupid shmoopy eyes at each other over dinner and playing tonsil hockey in the park like teenagers, but that DOES NOT make him your boo. At least not until you’ve discussed it and have both agreed upon the terms of service for your relationship.

How do I know this? Oh, because I’ve made this mistake before. Too many times. The first time I made it was when I was 18. I went away for the summer after my freshman year of college, assuming that the letters and packages and emails my dude sent me meant we were in a serious, committed relationship. It did to me — but not to him. When I came back to town in the fall — actually, before the fall because I missed him so much — he abruptly left me for the girl who lived across the hall. She wore striped knee socks and played the guitar. I would watch him come over to visit her through my peephole. It was awful. She later became a famous rock star and dumped him. Oh, KARMA. Keep reading »

Putting A Spell On Your Ex Won’t Help Get Him Back

Crotch Sniffer?
The weirdest relationship advice question we've ever seen. Read More »
Dating Don't: Bunny Boiler
How to recover if you've acted insane. Read More »
Terrible Advice
woman drinking beer photo
Dear Prudence gave crap advice regarding a possible date rape. Read More »

Today in people being delusional assholes when it comes to love: I stumbled upon an amazing question in The Smoking Jacket’s advice column “ASK TSJ.” Spellcaster of Caller, Michigan wrote:

My ex-boyfriend dumped me four months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I was so confused and didn’t know what to do, so I reach to the Internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spellcaster helped someone get their ex back.

I contacted the spellcaster and explained my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assured me that in three days my ex would return to me. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: He’s Not Your Ex

Dating Don'ts: Dumb Adages
These love adages are stupid. Ignore them. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Ghosting
Thou shalt not ghost your love interests. Read More »

This past weekend, I had brunch with a single guy friend and, as I tend to do when I’m in these situations, I took advantage of the opportunity to ask him questions about dating.

“So, what’s the your least favorite thing about dating?” I asked.

“When I’m on a dates, I hate when women project their dating history onto me,” he replied.

“You mean like they talk about their baggage?”

“No,” he said, “But it’s like I can tell who’s sat in the chair before me by they way they act.” Keep reading »

Guy Talk: 5 Ways That Men Are Also Hopeless Romantics

Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Hitched
Can you throw a cheap wedding in this day and age? Read More »
Guy Talk: Last Name
This man took his wife's last name. Read More »

Here’s a poorly kept secret: Men are also from Venus. That’s what I’ve learned after six years of writing for The New York Times wedding section—also known as the Ladies’ Sports Pages.

Sure, a few thousand years’ history of raping and pillaging suggests otherwise, but beneath the stubble and the Sportscenter addiction, most men are as confused, vulnerable and romantic as women when it comes to falling in love.

Did I mention I’m also one of those men? Keep reading »

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