Yesterday at a Richardson High School assembly in Texas, students got some … interesting … relationship advice. Motivational speaker Justin Lookadoo — now appropriately deemed #LookADouche by the students — shared questionable “tips” such as telling students that “dateable girls know how to shut up.”
I’m sure that went over wonderfully with fragile 14-year-olds’ self-esteem. Keep reading »
We think it’s awfully cute that OKCupid couple, Clara Benson and Jeff Wilson, decided to go on a 21-day, seat-of-their pants European excursion after only 12 dates. And we’re a little shocked (but thrilled) that they decided to continue dating after the trip. Let’s be honest, the odds of that are like one in ten trillion. For most of us, the thought of traveling through eight countries, with no plans, only one outfit, sleeping in hostels and on couches, floors and park lawns, even with someone we’re way into is out of the question. That doesn’t mean we’re dating duds with no sense of adventure. It just means we want to find a middle ground between the cliche “adventurous” dates (why does every dating article want us to go rock climbing?) and the spur-of-the-moment European vacation. Here are some fresh ideas for over-the-top dates that won’t break the bank or ruin your relationship (hopefully)… Keep reading »
You’re on your way to your local watering hole one evening and you spot something familiar in the gait, the walk, the hand gestures of a person heading your way on the street. You realize with sudden, sinking dread that it’s your ex who you haven’t seen since the breakup. You grab your best friend’s elbow and hiss in her ear, “That’s him.” You stay in place, paralyzed and unable to move, until she grabs you by the back of the arm and steers you across the street. You think yourself invisible while you stand in between two parked cars, waiting for him to pass.
Later, when you get a text that says, “Did I just see you outside that bar?” you wait two hours and numerous drinks before texting back in all caps “NOPE.” Near the end of the night, as you sit on top of a bar stool with your best friend like imperious, drunk queens, you blatantly ignore him when he enters the bar to retrieve his forgotten credit card. Likely story. Even with his sudden ambush, you manage to avoid contact. At the end of the night you collapse into bed with a glass of water in hand, and think to yourself, Crisis averted!
But really, was it? Keep reading »
So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
Dear Single Friends,
We haven’t seen a lot of you lately. And when we have, there have been strained exchanges and tense subtext. We can see you stifling an eye roll when we bring up our S.O.’s name. So we stopped bringing up his name because we didn’t want to make you feel weird. That only made us feel weird.
Single friends, we’re not dead, we’re just coupled. Everything has changed, but at the same time, nothing has changed. That sounds really esoteric, but it’s not. All the little things have changed — like, we now spend Sunday mornings snuggling instead of getting a pedicure and we’re not going to be around to do orphan Thanksgiving this year. Sorry. And no, we can’t be your single wingwoman on Saturday nights. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to hang out on Saturday night. We do. Because despite our relationship status, everything else is the same. Our friendships, especially. Keep reading »
Relationships are the most unique and nuanced thing in life. So why does Facebook only have a handful of options to describe them? This doesn’t make sense to me. Between single, civil union and divorced there are a zillion shades of relationship situations, which are all supposed to fall under the “it’s complicated” category. That’s ridiculous. I think the label of a relationship should reflect the complexity of the thing. So, I’ve come up with some new statuses that include everyone — from those who got dumped three days ago to those who have the benefits without the friendship. See where you fall on the real-life relationship status spectrum and stop trying to fit your romantic life in a box. Keep reading »
Here is a example of something that happens to people in relationships: we strive for perfection at all costs. Things go well, things are proceeding according to the path you created in your head. Things feel perfect. Your relationship is a glorious jewel of correctness, shining in a world where nothing is right. There have been no arguments, you disagree on nothing and appear to have everything in common. The success of your relationship is a kick in the teeth to all your other problems, it’s the one thing that you can really and truly do right. It’s a contact high of the best kind and you never want it to go away. The problem with this feeling? The first crack in the veneer sends you into a roiling, spiraling panic. The truth: Perfection is impossible, it is unfeasible, and the struggle to achieve it will be the death of the relationship. Instead of striving for it, try infusing your relationship with some wabi-sabi. Keep reading »
It’s a universal truth that men get freaked the fuck out when a woman utters the phrase, “We need to talk.” (It freaks women out as well, but not to quite the same extent.) If you want to get a guy quivering in his boots, those four words will always do the trick. But WHY? From what men tell me, “we need to talk” signifies extreme relationship danger. To a guy, it’s the verbal equivalent of being hunted by a bear. It’s talk of marriage, babies, cheating or whatever thing you know he doesn’t want to talk about. It makes a guy feel trapped. Boxed in. In trouble. It sends him into an automatic anxiety spiral. I’ve personally retired the phrase at the behest of my boyfriend. “Don’t announce the major convo, just get into it,” he requested. Noted. Keep reading »
According to some new research, the unknown enemy of many a relationship is psoriasis (that skin disorder that Kim Kardashian has). Who knew? I mean, once a guy canceled a date by telling me he “was itching all over.” But I’m pretty sure that was just lie because he ghosted after that. And he definitely didn’t have psoriasis. Anyhow, the research found that a staggering 25 percent of all psoriasis sufferers claim they were dumped at some point because of their scabby, scaly skin. Of course, the dumpers could have been trying to sugar-coat things when they said: “It’s not you, it’s your psoriasis,” but it’s such an dick-ish things to say that it seems unlikely.
With all the perfectly good reasons to dump someone — they’re untrustworthy, they bore you to tears, they’re life dream is to become a nudist and live off the grid — psoriasis is not anywhere near acceptable. Emotional incompatibility. Fine. Different visions for the future. Sure. Psoriasis. You suck, psoriasis shamers. This gets me thinking, if so many people are getting canned over a totally treatable auto-immune disorder, others must be getting dumped for even stupider reasons. Below, I’ve started a running list of some reasons that are NOT valid for breaking up because I feel like we ought to have one. You’re gonna have to come up with something more substantial, people… Keep reading »
Here’s the conundrum: the person who you love most in the world wants to talk about an issue. You’re honored, of course, that they’re coming to you with their dilemma, but at the same time, it’s challenging because you know them so well that you can cut straight through the BS and tell them that this isn’t really about their boss, it’s about their control issues with their father and they better address those first. But you can’t say that because they’ll probably want to punch your in the face for being so right. Being right — rather than empathetic — can be awfully annoying when your partner is having a vulnerable moment. But they need your input. What to do? Tread lightly and carry a tiny stick. Meaning, it’s all in the delivery. Here are some tips to help you master one of the most important relationship skills: how to give your SO guidance without pissing them off. Keep reading »
I think we can all agree that when you’re ass-deep in online dating process, the one and only thing that would make you feel better about this digging-through-profiles farce that has become your love life would be to meet an actual, human person you’re attracted to IN REAL LIFE. I’m not saying you should delete your profile — just that it might be nice to throw real-life dating prospect into the mix every now and then. Chicken soup for the single soul. So, where does the man who goes by the handle Tacos4Two go when he’s not “surfing in South America” or “curling up with his iPad”? Where might you find NetflixLdy when she’s not “watching live-streaming wildlife documentaries”? I mean, she must leave the house every now and again. Keep reading »