Like it or not, first impressions do matter. Second and third impressions do too — especially in the dating world. Admit it, you want to be wanted and liked by your suitor. We all do! No man or woman wants to be told they’re not the best choice or the most favorable candidate for love. The trouble is that our desire to be liked often drives us to be someone other than ourselves.
Some of us never show up for dates (especially the first ones), because we’ve sent our representatives instead — a make believe character that you think the person sitting across the table will find more interesting than you. It seems like a brilliant idea at the time, but your “rep” could cost you the date. Read more …
Shark Week is back! But how well-versed are you in the landsharks who live and date in cities, just like people? Don’t stay out of the water, kids; just be vigilant. Here are five dating “sharks” to avoid falling prey to.
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When you think of settling down, Jennifer Aniston isn’t usually the first name to come up. That was until of course this weekend when she said “yes!” to longtime beau, Justin Theroux. Honestly, I’ve always been Team Angie, but it’s so great to see Jenn happy. Everyone deserves to find that special someone, and it seems like Justin is That Guy for her. In their pictures together, he looks just as in love with her as she is with him. How sweet!
But, Jenn has kissed a lot of frogs before getting to this point. Most of them weren’t terrible guys (I mean there was Brad Pitt), but they were frogs for her. Which teaches us girls a lesson. There are a lot of guys you need to date before you can really settle down. Each one is great in their own way and gives you important life experiences. Finding The One first isn’t always the best thing! Don’t believe me? Look through the guys below and you’ll change your mind.
The High School Sweetheart. Having a high school sweetheart is well … Sweet. Read more …
A couple of years after my fiancé and I broke up, I received a friend request from him on Facebook. I guess it made sense. While I’d decided that being real world friends didn’t quite work for me, I wasn’t exactly hating him either. So when I saw the friend request, I momentarily thought about accepting it. It would be the mature thing to do, right? Wrong. The mature thing to do is whatever moves you forward into a peaceful, calm, and happy existence. And looking at my ex’s new life wouldn’t help with that. So I did not accept.
Some couples are instant and true friends after their breakup. I don’t happen to know any of them, but rumor has it they exist. If those ex-couples want to be Facebook friends, so be it. But the rest of us should defriend, at least for awhile. Here are 6 of the lamest excuses for not unfriending your ex on Facebook.
1. I want to see if he says anything bad about me. Ahh, so you’re conducting your own public relations control campaign by monitoring your ex’s wall. Well, here’s a thought: If your ex is gauche enough to share anything negative about you with all of his Facebook friends, then that reflects badly on only one person: Him. Read more …
One of the more annoying things about dating is being given unsolicited advice by the smug couples of the world, the most offensive kind being played out platitudes about love. Thanks. I’m sure “my time will come” but when? How? At least say something helpful if you’re going to shove your advice down my throat. And by the way, just because I’m not currently in love doesn’t mean I’ve never experienced it before. I have, thank you very much. And here’s what I learned from my experiences: Falling in love is a wonderful, mystical, magical thing, but it’s complicated and nuanced and rare. Every time you fall in love it’s as unique as a snowflake, so it’s absolutely impossible to generalize with some stale old saying. I humbly request a ban on the following love adages on the grounds that they’re stupid and untrue. Oh, and I give you permission to close your ears the next time you hear these phrases … Keep reading »
Two of my most major dating anxieties are A) having nothing to talk about and B) the first kiss. I fear having nothing to talk about, not because I don’t have anything to talk about, but if I’m sitting across from an uncommunicative human for an hour, I will feel compelled to fill up every second of that hour with words. And for those of you who similarly fear awkward silences, you know how much energy it takes to fill an entire hour with words. It’s soul sucking.
That was a tangent. I’m really here to talk about first kiss anxiety, which is way, way more serious. I think there are two schools of thought on first kisses: Those who think a bad first kiss indicates incompatibility and those who believe that kissing is not all-important. If you’re a member of Team Kissing Is Not All-Important, it’s all-important for me to be up front and tell you that we don’t have anything to talk about. A bad first kiss is enough to put me off the person … forever. So, when I’m on a date, and we do have stuff to talk about, I am then free to live in fearful anticipation of that first lip lock. I understand that everyone has different kissing styles and preferences, and there is a spectrum of what may be considered enjoyable, but I’ve consulted with other women, and they agree with me, there are certain kinds of kisses that are universally unwelcome. After the jump, some kinds of first kisses that will render romance DOA. Don’t be an offender. Keep reading »
In the 2007 remake of “3:10 to Yuma,” Christian Bale’s character loses his leg while fighting in the Civil War. As compensation, the government gives him a sum of money, which he uses to attempt to forge a new life. After he fails miserably, he realizes that the government never actually cared about helping him. They just wanted to erase any obligation they had. He sums up his disillusionment more cynically than anything Batman ever came up with: The government didn’t give him the money so he could walk away. They gave him the money so they could walk away.
Recently, I discovered that the same idea applies to dating. Keep reading »
Taking your first vacation as a couple is a huge relationship milestone. Travel is stressful, no matter where you’re going or how many margaritas you’ve had. Will your relationship survive the journey or will it get left behind in paradise? Here are three ways to ensure your love will outlast your vacation:
1. Plan the trip together. It might be tempting to tell your boyfriend that he can plan the trip, but you’ll only end up disappointed when he reveals his plans include diving with sharks or visiting every sports museum in a 100 mile radius. Read more …
I have stumbled upon a dating conundrum that I cannot figure out on my own. I don’t need to consult an advice columnist, or my friends or therapist. I need to hear from the people of the world at large who have been through this and have practical pearls of wisdom to bestow upon me.
So here’s the dilemma: The other night I was out with some friends … wait let me back up. Here’s what you should know: This dinner bunch is a tight circle of friends. We work in the same field and our bond is not only personal, it’s professional. One of the members of this group is a guy that has been a close friend of mine for the last two years. I have always sensed some attraction on both of our ends at different times throughout our friendship, but neither of us have ever acted on it at all. Never in any overt way, at least. Over the past couple of years, we’ve become really, really close, sharing stuff about our families, dating lives, professional lives and personal lives. This guy probably knows more about me than most of my closest friends. Keep reading »
Think of the best first date you ever went on.
Got it? Okay, what did you do immediately afterwards?
If you’re like some women I’ve been out with, you called up your best friend and gushed all about the date. You even posted a not-so-subtle status update on Facebook. Something along the lines of, “Just had an AMAZING night!”
Now, here’s my next—and more important—question:
Before you gushed to your best friend, before you flaunted your euphoria all over Facebook, did you ever stop to consider how your date might have felt about that “amazing” night?
One scenario I encounter frequently on dating advice sites is the woman who goes on a fabulous first date, only to find herself confused when she never hears from that guy again. So, she’s left to wonder … What happened?
“The date went so well. We had so much fun and clicked so amazingly. He was hot and charming and intelligent. I was hot and charming and intelligent. He couldn’t take his eyes off me the whole night So… why didn’t he call again?!” Keep reading »