Tag Archives: dating tip

Dating Don’ts: 5 Things That Can Go Terribly Wrong On Tinder And Grouper

Dating Don'ts: Phases
The Breakup Phase You Never Saw Coming
The breakup phase you didn't see coming. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Online Realities
Some things you might not know about online dating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Everything That Can Go Wrong On Tinder And Grouper

When meeting people in real life became too much work, we went online to date. When online dating becomes tedious (and it pretty much already has), what’s next? We date through apps, obviously. After all, why spend hours combing through various online profiles, when you can just tap a button on your phone? If you haven’t heard of Grouper or Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, then… you’re clearly in a happy relationship.

Pshh. I’ll explain: Grouper is like a group blind date; you fill out a short questionnaire and it sets you and two friends up with three guy friends who are revealed at a given location. Other apps like Tinder show you pictures of potential matches that you can choose to like or pass, and mutual “likes” become grounds for further contact. And while there are positives to such dating formats, like maximizing potential suitors with minimal effort and taking screen shots and sending them to your friends for giggles, in the end, they’re all just as bad, or even worse, than putting in your time on OKCupid. Let’s flesh out all the things that can go wrong with these apps, shall we? Keep reading »

The “Perfect Woman” Doesn’t Smoke, Drink, Gossip Or Curse, According To Vanity Fair Poll

Melissa On Perfection
Melissa McCarthy thinks we should all just embrace who we are right now. Read More »
Women's Mag Lessons
20 things mags taught us that scarred us for life! Read More »

A new Vanity Fair/”60 Minutes” poll surveyed American adults about the qualities they look for in an ideal woman. And, by George, we’ve got one: she’s a “bold and experienced” “good mother” who hates the movie “Fatal Attraction,” doesn’t smoke, and is a doctor. But don’t feel bad if that doesn’t describe you … because it doesn’t describe most of us.

Here’s a closer look at the stats so you know exactly what you should be like, if you want to make a bunch of random people who read Vanity Fair and/or watch “60 Minutes” like you:

Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: The Breakup Phase You Didn’t See Coming

Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Guys
Dating Don'ts: The Danger In Being Just One Of The Guys
As in, just one of the guys. Why you shouldn't try to be one. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Facebook
You should never post these things on his Facebook page. NEVER. Read More »
The Breakup Phase You Never Saw Coming

Even though I’m a cat lady by choice – minus the terrifying figurines and embroidered pillows – when my ex started dating someone new, my reaction was … let’s just say, unexpected.

I’d like to foreshadow this tale of my psychotic break by mentioning our breakup was totally mutual. It was one of those “Leave It to Beaver”-esque, respectful breakups that if re-enacted for stage and screen would be as exciting as sobriety.

There was the occasional sob – I mean, hello, we’d been together for five years! – followed by the classic after-all-we’ve-been-through-let’s-be-BFFs routine which ended with a joint custody kerfuffle over our cat (pffft, yeah right, and ruin my new persona?). All in all, a pretty mature outcome if you ask me.

We went on like this for about six months or so: chitchatting about work and school, sharing adorable cat pictures, and updating each other about our families.

Then, it happened.

The mofo started dating someone new and I was blindsided by the news in the most clichéd way possible: on Facebook. There, on my newsfeed, was his updated profile picture – a pukey couple shot from one of their dates, followed by nauseating comments from their family and friends. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: About Fake-Friending

Dating Don'ts: Guys
Dating Don'ts: The Danger In Being Just One Of The Guys
As in, just one of the guys. Why you shouldn't try to be one. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Relationships
Dating Don'ts: What Dating Doesn't Teach You About Relationships
Relationship skills are different than the ones you use dating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Texters
13 Types Of Texters To Weary Of
These types of texters are worth being weary of. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend

The scenario is a common one – it’s happened to me and, while writing this piece, I did an informal survey and asked a handful of women in my life if they were familiar with the phenomenon of fake-friending. All them were. And almost all of them – myself included – admitted to having been on both sides. As a person with a lot of close male friends, I’ve fake-friended multiple new girlfriends in the interest of research (Because really? Her? Is she funny or something? He told me he doesn’t even like brunettes!), and I’ve been the new girlfriend who suddenly had a suspiciously good-looking college friend of my new boyfriend Facebook messaging me that “we should get together.”

It usually goes like this: a man and a woman begin dating and eventually get to a point where they start to meet each other’s friends. If they are well-adjusted, normal adults, they will probably have friends of both genders. Maybe it’s awesome. Maybe the new girlfriend and the female friends genuinely have a lot in common — they do have similar taste in men, after all — and everyone becomes friends and the world continues to turn in perfect harmony.

But probably, because humans are just sacks of guts and hormones, at least one of those female friends will likely have or have had feelings for the newly-spoken-for. Maybe they dated or slept together once (or for a while*) and it didn’t work out. Whatever the specifics, the dynamic is the same: the female friend doesn’t necessarily want to date the guy, but she doesn’t want him dating that girl. And instead of admitting that (and thus, admitting her feelings), the platonic female friend will launch an attack of niceness. Keep reading »

8 Love Rules Made to Be Broken

8 Love Rules Made to Be Broken

When I heard about the book, It’s Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date my first thought was: ORLLY? Tell me more! After watching a whole parade of books about dating rules through my lifetime, from THE RULES to 30-Day Love Detox (no sex for the first 30 days), it’s refreshing to see a book that’s all about debunking traditional dating rules. But is the message too good to be true? The point authors Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser are making is simple: Trust yourself.

Well that’s easy to say if you’re not a neurotic basket case with non-stop monkey chatter running through your brain. Don’t we need dating rules to save ourselves from ourselves, or do dating rules really prevent us from being our most authentic selves? I decided to take some of the rules Syrtash and Wilser debunk in their book and see what my friends think about them. Turns out they’ve broken most of these rules, too — with no regrets. Read more on The Stir…

5 Dating Tips For Plus Size Women

Dating Tips For Plus Size Women

Six years ago, I couldn’t get a real date to save my life. I blamed nearly all of that on my size and used weight as a shield to deflect getting rejected. When you’re overweight  you come up with all kinds of reason why dating sucks, like “guys are such jerks! They won’t even LOOK at you if you’re not a size 2!” or my favorite“Whatever, I just want a guy to value ME for ME — not how I look.”

But let’s be real here — if you’re overweight and single,  it can feel like there’s no hope in the world for finding a person that madly, truly, deeply loves YOU. Yes, even ALL of you.

Dating while being overweight isn’t a death-sentence to single-dom at all, so here are 5 rules for curvy women who want pure dating mastery! And for added intrigued  I’ve personally used all these rules in my dating life, which lead to one helluva man to put a ring on it. Read more on Your Tango…

18 Things You Wish You Could Ask On A First Date (But Can’t Because They’re Probably Inappropriate)

First-Date Fears
Common first date fears you don't really need to worry about. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
First Date Confessions
We wish we never heard these. Read More »

It’s our first date and I literally don’t care about your college major, or how long you’ve been in the city. I don’t care if you only drink aged whiskey or how lame you thought new Superman movie was. Please stop talking about your favorite hockey team and how it’s such a small world  because we both know so-and-so. Please, please, please stop rambling about any information I’ve already stalked on your Facebook and Linkedin pages. Can’t we just skip all the bullshit small talk and have a real conversation. There’s some stuff I’m dying to know about you, but I’m not Nell. I wasn’t raised in an isolated cabin, so I know better. But  here’s what questions you could answer that would make this happy hour a lot more valuable (for me, at least): Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: What Dating Doesn’t Teach You About Relationships

Dating Don'ts: Breakup Email
Dating Don'ts: 5 Alternatives To Sending An Angry, Post-Breakup Email
Some alternatives to sending an angry, post-breakup email. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Texters
13 Types Of Texters To Weary Of
These types of texters are worth being weary of. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Celebrity
Dating Don'ts: 4 Things You Shouldn't Do If You're Dating A Celebrity
Do the normal rituals apply when you're dating a famous person? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: What Dating Doesn't Teach You About Relationships

In my eight year stint as a single person, I became very proficient at dating and breaking up. I learned how to flirt, I became skilled at meeting men both on and offline, I developed coping mechanisms for making it through horrendous first dates, I came to understand how not to take rejection personally, I honed in on what I was looking for rather than who was looking for me and I came up with a protocol for moving on with as little emotional scarring as possible when things didn’t work out. (And I typically didn’t expect them too.) These were all incredibly difficult and, at times, painful skills to master, but I think I just about had them under control. And then a bout of dating fatigue and a stroke of dumb luck later and the thing that I thought would never happen for me happened — I was in a serious relationship faster then I could say DATING SUCKS. After the first few moments of being annoyingly in love (I still am), I found myself with my back up against an OH FUCK wall. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 5 Alternatives To Sending An Angry, Post-Breakup Email

Dating Don'ts: Celebrity
Dating Don'ts: 4 Things You Shouldn't Do If You're Dating A Celebrity
Do the normal rituals apply when you're dating a famous person? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Texters
13 Types Of Texters To Weary Of
These types of texters are worth being weary of. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Plus One
How Not To Be A Crappy Wedding Date
Don't be a crappy wedding date! Read More »
Dating Don'ts: 5 Alternatives To Sending An Angry, Post-Breakup Email

Breakups are brutal, and we rarely end a relationship with all of our feelings, regrets and issues off our chest. Instead, we’re left with a tornado of confusing emotions accumulating debris inside of us, potentially setting off some really bad decision-making. The post-breakup email would be at the top of that list. It’s totally understandable to want to send one last email — either for closure or answers or to explain yourself, but more often, as a medium for your residual hurt and anger. While all of those reasons seem really valid, you have to let go of the idea that sending the email will make you feel better. It most certainly won’t. DO NOT SEND A POST-BREAKUP EMAIL. Let me repeat that. DO NOT HIT SEND.

The only person who really gets hurt by sending out that post-breakup email is you. Unless your ex is a straight up sociopath, he already feels bad about breaking your heart, but sending a bitchy/snarky/sympathy-seeking/guilt-tripping/nailing-ass-to-wall email just lets him off the hook.You might think having the last word will make him feel worse, but in fact, they will actually make him feel better. Any negative feelings he had about you — you just validated them when you hit send. Keep reading »

5 Tips For Avoiding Dating Burnout

5 Tips For Avoiding Dating Burnout

“I’m just not going to date for awhile,” is a frequent refrain I hear from my clients. There’s often a lack of enthusiasm and resolve in the delivery, signaling ambivalence. You’re probably familiar with the idea of burnout with respect to repetitive, boring jobs, or highly stressful work situations. Fatigue and a lack of interest in your work are among the signs. Actually, you can burnout on almost anything, including dating. These are the telltale signs of dating burnout and strategies to avoid it:

1. Lackluster interest in new dates. You must begin to ask yourself why you’re pursuing someone at all if you can barely muster the enthusiasm to get ready. Or perhaps you’ve lowered the bar too much and your dates really aren’t interesting.  It’s time to focus on something else. Read more on Your Tango…

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