I had a drink with a friend the other night who spent the entire time pouting as he regaled me with the latest details of his most recent failure in the dating world. “Girls don’t like me because they don’t like nice guys!” he said. “Girls only like assholes. No one ever wants to date me because I’m too nice,” he whined.
I’ve had this conversation multiple times with lots of my guy friends, and the one thing I always tell them is this: women do like nice guys, because no one wants to be with a jerk, but there’s a difference between being a Nice Guy and being a guy who is nice. Recognizing the difference between the two is key. Keep reading »
My boyfriend Nick and I met when we were in high school, but we didn’t start dating officially until college. Part of the reason for that was my extreme resistance to the idea of being labeled “high school sweethearts.” I knew I loved Nick within a few weeks of first meeting him, but the idea of our relationship falling under the HSS label was mortifying to me, especially coming from a small town where HSS marriages were something of a way of life. I wanted to move away and have a glamorous career; settling down with the boy who sat three desks down from me in computer science class was not part of my plan. Nick wanted to get serious right away, but I was so afraid of becoming a cliche that I enforced a strict, “We’re just friends” rule until the day after graduation, when I finally kissed him and said, “OK, let’s do this.” I believed this technicality (we were a whopping 24 hours past the high school sweetheart deadline!) would save us from a lifetime of HSS comments. Smooth, right?
Alas, my plan didn’t really work. Whenever I tell people Nick and I have been together for nine years, they ask how old I am, they do the mental math, and then a goofy grin comes over their face as they start clapping and chanting, “High school sweethearts! High school sweethearts!” Sigh.
Obviously I have no regrets about sticking with Nick — I mean, I met the guy of my dreams early in life, how lucky am I? — but as our relationship has progressed, I’ve noticed a few unexpected drawbacks that don’t affect couples who met later in life… Keep reading »
It may not be something that anyone wishes for, but for a lot of men (about 50 percent), hair loss is a reality. At first, it can be tragic, depressing, a horrible reminder of immortality, but once a guy realizes it’s just a fact of life, and learn to own it, they become even more of a catch than they ever thought possible. Read more on Your Tango…
There is no secret to dating success.There is no incantation to whisper over a pile of personal effects under the light of a new moon, no candles to burn, no rituals performed under a veil of Spanish moss in bare feet. Dating is one of the least magical and miraculous things that occurs in our short time on this earth. It requires the same rote, dedicated work you need to do to lose weight, quit smoking or do anything that is difficult, that takes time, that is slightly unpleasant, but necessary. Like most things in our adult lives, to date successfully is a task best done alone. Here’s the rub, friends: when we deal with the tricky unpleasantries of life that require determination, willpower and confidence alone, with nothing but our interior monologues to shut us down, that’s where the trouble starts. Sometimes, blaming your lack of success on everything else around you is the easiest way out. Perhaps we should consider an irrefutable fact: you are your own worst enemy. Keep reading »
Being in a relationship with someone who has ADD presents some unique challenges. Conversations tend to jump rapidly from one topic to another. Shiny objects might distract them during important moments. And that pile of clothes on the floor? Yeah, that’s never, ever going to get put away. Of course, there are also many benefits to being with someone with ADD: a sense of spontaneity, endless intellectual curiosity, excitement, and creativity. One thing’s for sure: an ADD relationship is never boring. Here are some tips for loving someone with ADD, from someone who has it: Keep reading »
Turkey dropping is a cute-sounding name for an awful phenomenon: getting dumped on or right before Thanksgiving. It’s particularly common for high school sweethearts who go off to separate colleges and realize right around Thanksgiving break that they want to “keep their options open.” This happens in the adult dating world as well, when the stress of the impending holidays starts to settle in and the questioning half of the couple decides they don’t want to forage ahead through Christmas and New Years together. Keep reading »