Tag Archives: dating tip

Office Husband Or Office Crush: 6 Subtle Ways To Tell The Difference

Earlier this week, a woman wrote to Betches Love This for advice about a case of “the work weirds.” She complained about a “clingy male coworker” who seems to be paying “special attention” to her:

“He invites me to random parties he hosts, pries into my personal life, and offers to help me with my work (when it’s unnecessary).  I always say I’m busy/ignore him/give one word answers but he isn’t getting the message. He will also do things like comment on a phone conversation he overheard me having or talk to me on office communicator while staring at me.”

Although the advice columnist didn’t seem to pick up on it (she suggested that the guy isn’t interested, he’s just weird), it seems pretty obvious to me that this “clingy male coworker” wants to date this woman. Here’s the thing: male/female office relationships can be confusing. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if that dude at work is flirting with you because you spend so many hours sitting next to each other, eating breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner together, that you can become immune to signals. Romantic feelings can easily be mistaken for the kind of intimacy that blossoms when you’re comfortable enough to fart in front of someone. So how can you tell the subtle difference between an office crush and an office husband? I’ve laid out a few behavioral tip-offs so that you can turn that “clingy male coworker” into a committed office husband (seriously! If that’ all he wants, put him to work and have him refill your water bottle!) or let him down gently if he’s crushing and you’re not. Or better yet…if you’re both into each other, go make out with him in the break room right now (but we urge  you to consider the pros and cons of dating a coworker first). Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 6: On Subway Clowns & Samadhi

Date-Ade Episode 6: On Subway Clowns & Samadhi
Sometimes It's OK To Be The Clown In Your Relationship
Date-Ade Ep. 5
Date-Ade Episode 5: On Trouser Pieces & Stick Shifts
Every trouser piece is different. Read More »

This week on Date-Ade – a stream of consciousness advice series for stressed daters — I talk to Rebecca about lightening up the mood in her relationship with the help of clowns.

If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com.

Dating Don’ts: 3 Reasons Why Your Single Friends Don’t Want To Join You On Relationship Island

Dating Don'ts: Love Crazed?
How not to be one of those annoying, love-crazed types. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Phases
The Breakup Phase You Never Saw Coming
The breakup phase you didn't see coming. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Dont's: Relationship Island

Are you caught up in a new relationship? Has your humdrum existence been enlivened by late weeknights laying in bed and giggling, or gazing into the eyes of a magical creature? Do you find yourself stunned by the creature’s beauty, dazed by the fact that you’ve found just the right person? Do you spend Sunday mornings making coffee for two, arranging artful piles of the paper on your coffee table and reading with your head on your beloved’s lap and your feet in a sunbeam? Have you forgotten what your friends look like?  Congratulations, you’re on Relationship Island! Keep reading »

8 Pieces Of Dating Wisdom I Wish I Could Have Given My Single Self

8 Pieces Of Dating Wisdom I Would Have Given My Single Self

There were many low points in my eight years (more or less) as a single person. One in particular was in December of 2010, right around my 32nd birthday. Funny that I can’t even remember why it was a low point. Probably because I had created some kind of timeline where I imagined that I should have been in a relationship by that point. To cope with all the hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, panic, frustration and feelings of failure I was experiencing, I wrote an open letter to my single self. Although I didn’t believe it at the time, I gave myself the most awesome advice. To quote myself to myself (how meta), my main point was that I should be patient and do nothing:

“In waiting, you’ve grown impatient at times and have tried to force things that weren’t meant to be, fought too hard for something that you knew was wrong, held on too tight to something that was already dead and gone, or pushed people away out of fear. No more of that. The only thing left for you to do now is NOTHING … Love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will. Accept that it’s a mystery and sit down, shut up, enjoy your freaking life, and patiently wait your turn.”

Keep reading »

Revisiting 5 Pieces Of Single Lady Literature Now That I’m In A Relationship

Okay, so I’m in a relationship - and I met him online. I swear, 38th time’s the charm, right? Yes, I did keep track. Once you’re in double digits and you keep failing, it seems important to keep count. But Number 38, who eventually became my boyfriend, is great. He’s smart, funny, charming, and when he asked what I’d say about him in this piece, I told him the only thing I’d tell the Internet is that he has a beard.

I may be in a relationship now, but I still have all the single lady advice books I used to consult. I mean,I’m not going to lie; I was definitely a sucker for these books and I sought them out regularly to help me navigate the uncharted waters of the dating pool. In retrospect, it’s amazing how obsessed I was with trying to figure out how to get the man I wanted as if relationships were pieces of Ikea furniture — something that you put together piece by piece. Fortunately, they’re not. I realize that now. Keep reading »

Face Tattoos & 13 Other Things That Seem Like A Great Idea After A Breakup, But Really Aren’t

Things That Seem Like A Great Idea After A Breakup, But Really Aren't

See that red, squiggly thing on Sinead O’Connor’s cheek that looks like a toddler doodled on her with a pen? That’s her new face tattoo and it’s not actually a squiggle. It’s the initials BQ, which stands for Brendan Quinlan. Remember how Sinead started blogging about being single and considering having sex with a yam and then she met someone and married him for 16 days? Well, Brendan Quinlan is not that guy. He’s someone else. At a performance last week, she told the audience that she got her new ink to remind the guy that betrayed her. Then she put up a post on her website that said:

“Face Tattoo…Brendan Quinlan.. ‘It’s what it is’.. Un ange passe ; ) There’s a bottle of Agent Provocateur in someone’s room that belongs to me.”

Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 5: On Trouser Pieces & Stick Shifts

Date-Ade Episode 5: On Trouser Pieces & Stick Shifts
All Trouser Pieces Are Different...
Date-Ade Ep 4
Date Ade Episode 4
When to apply the Summer Camp Rule to your relationship. Read More »

I think I’ve mentioned (numerous times) that canned dating advice drives me crazy. Love and relationships are not a one-size-fits-all pair of shoes. I admittedly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve found that I give the best advice when I share my own stories — as weird as they may be — and offer empathy. Inspired by Jack Handy’s “Deep Thoughts,” Date-Ade offers stream of consciousness solutions for stressed daters courtesy of me and my owl.

If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com.

40 Love Lessons From “40 Days Of Dating”

No wonder Hollywood is clamoring for the “40 Days of Dating” project to be the next big rom com or TV series, it has been our addictive, lunchtime reading of choice for the last month and a half. We’ve become maybe a little too invested in following the blog entries of hopeless romantic Jessica Walsh and self-professed commitment-phone Timothy Goodman as they embarked on their 40 days as a couple. How invested is too invested? Well, let’s just say that Ami had a dream that she was out on a date with Tim and he ran away and abandoned her while she was peeing. Sure, it was a dream, but it somehow seems like perfect metaphor for Tim and Jessie. Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 4: The Summer Camp Rule

Date Ade Episode 4
When's The Right Time To Meet His Mom?
Date-Ade Ep. 3
Date Ade Episode 3
On old flames and unwanted rodents. Read More »

I think I’ve mentioned (numerous times) that canned dating advice drives me crazy. Love and relationships are not a one-size-fits-all pair of shoes. I admittedly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve found that I give the best advice when I share my own stories — as weird as they may be — and offer empathy. Inspired by Jack Handy’s “Deep Thoughts,” Date-Ade offers stream of consciousness solutions for stressed daters courtesy of me and my owl.

If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com.

Dating Don’ts: 7 Kinds Of Default Fighting Styles That Will Drive You Crazy

Dating Don'ts: Driftwood
Dating Don'ts: Where There Is Driftwood
Where there is driftwood, there are better relationships. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Career
Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend's Isn't
What to do when yours is blowing up and his isn't. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Dealbreaker
Dating Don'ts: We're All Just Walking Dealbreakers
We're all just walking dealbreakers. Read More »
Dating Don'ts 7 Kinds Of Default Fighting Styles

Sometimes the worst thing about having a fight with the person you’re dating is not that you’re fighting, or even what you’re fighting about; it’s about not understanding each other’s fighting style. Because whenever we fight, we go into our lizard brain default mode and before we know it we’re on autopilot going off on how he’s going to overcook the rice again and now he’s doing that annoying sympathy seeking thing. Fine! I’ll never cook rice again! You’ll be the only one ever allowed to cook rice since you’re the expert at it. How’s that? And … we’re off!

Geez, how did you end up here when all you really wanted to tell him was that your grandma taught you a special rice cooking trick that he might like to try? No matter how naturally compatible you are when you’re getting along, chances are, especially in the early days of your love, you’ll have to work at being compatible in the fighting department. That’s the tricky part — identifying your S.O.’s fighting style and learning to hear what he’s really saying about the rice. Below, some common fighting styles and some tips for dealing with them. Keep reading »

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