This past week, I got a bunch of messages on OKCupid. Some of the guys I’d never consider because I tend to avoid men who tell me they prefer to “stay home on most Friday nights and read poetry with a good glass of single malt.” Others seemed too old for me… and that’s not even including the scotch sippers. Out of the eight messages I received, there were two contenders that seemed datable.
Both were seemingly nice guys — attractive with ambition and wit. Hot Doctor is just finishing up med school and has a smile that would charm the knickers off grandma. The other guy, whom I’ve dubbed Sensitive Frat Bro, is a sweet entrepreneur who could just as easily be wearing a toga and chugging a beer on a Phi Kappa Tau recruitment poster. Eligible bachelors on free dating websites (and in life) are pretty hard to come by, so I decided to message them back. After talking to both of my suitors (one on Gchat and the other on OKCupid instant messenger) for several days in a row about things like family, hobbies, and careers, they both brought up the topic of sex. Keep reading »
I was less than enthused about the last person I dated, but could not put my finger on why. He was nice, smart, attractive, and I had enough fun with him, but something wasn’t right. At first, I chalked my indifference up to a personal tendency towards being overly critical. I had shoved off the detritus of my last long-term relationship, and was feeling open to new things and experiences. Dating him felt like something I should be doing — or at least trying — so I did. My enthusiasm never peaked though. It merely flatlined at a “I guess this is good enough” level for six months. It was only after we broke up that I was able to identify what was really going on: I was in a panic relationship.
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Last week I sat in a Verizon store with 50 million other people on iPhone Launch Day. Unlike everyone else, I was not looking for a fabulous upgrade. I was waiting in line to do something I had committed to do — two weeks ago. It was time for a relationship reality check.
My husband had asked me to replace his decrepit, old phone because the account is in my name. I told him I would, but never got around to it. On iPhone Launch Day, in the middle of the afternoon, his phone literally broke in half. And, I confronted a simple truth: sometimes “I love you” isn’t enough. For healthy relationships, the magic words need to combine with practical action. Read more at Your Tango…
Some dating rules are worth following, and some are just common sense. But others are pure nonsense, and worth ditching. Which rules should you keep and which should you toss out the window? Read more at Your Tango…
Everything I’m about to write must be prefaced by one caveat: falling in love is out of your control. That includes when it will happen, where it will happen and who it will happen with. Although some relationship experts or self-help books would like you to believe otherwise, that’s the honest truth. You cannot control love. I’ll give you a few minutes — or a few decades– to let that sink in. When I was single that was the hardest part for me to accept. I’m a do-er. So not being able to do anything about this life event that felt very important made me feel utterly useless. Which in turn, made me feel depressed.
To put the whole “falling in love” thing in perspective, I think it only happens truly, madly, deeply once or twice in a lifetime if you’re lucky. Some people are of the belief that there is not a lid for every pot. I’m more of the belief that some of us choose to be alone. And there’s not a thing wrong with that either. So, what do you have control over in all of this? You. I’ll repeat it, there is nothing you can do to make love happen. But there are certain ways of being that are more conducive to falling in love, if that’s what you choose. Here are a few easier-said-than-done things you can do to prepare for the romance you hope to have someday: Keep reading »
This week on Date-Ade – a stream of consciousness advice series for stressed daters — Sophia wants to know how to handle a man who warns her not to fall in love with him.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
As I mentioned earlier this week, I think fall is the most romantic time of year. Nights are long, the scenery is gorgeous, the drinks are hot, and the weather is perfect for cuddling. Fall is the perfect time to fall in love, but what if you’re already in a long term relationship? Don’t worry! You don’t have to miss out on the fun. Here are 3 easy tips to help you fall in love with your partner all over again, no matter how long you’ve been together… Keep reading »
“As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.” – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Helen Fielding
Right now, I am single by choice. I am focusing on other things besides dating — my career, my health, learning how to get through life without the support of a partner. I am settling into the idea of living alone after exiting a string of long-term relationships and one short-term situation that ended because I found myself with someone out of the panicky fear that unless I made this relationship work, I would die alone. We live in a time where great anxiety builds over which toppings to choose for your chopped salad. The glut of choice, which seems like it surrounds every decision, is amplified when applied to relationships. Right now, being alone feels like the simplest/hardest choice I can make. Keep reading »
Well, it’s officially fall! Even if you don’t live in a place where the weather has made that fact painfully apparent, you can always feel a shift this time of year. Days get shorter, pumpkin spice lattes come out of hibernation at Starbucks, and wild, summer flings are replaced with a love life that is a bit calmer and much, much cuddlier. (How else are we supposed to keep warm?) We think autumn is the perfect time of year to, ahem, fall in love, but it can be tough to come up with fresh dating ideas. If you’ve seen one list of fall dates, you’ve seen them all. It’s like the same 10 ideas have been circulating for the last 100 years. Sure, the standard apple picking, haunted houses and foliage walks can be fun (if your allergies are under control or you enjoy being scared into a near-heart attack), but they’re so played out that we’d be loathe to let you suffer through another dating season filled with cliche ideas. After the jump, some alternatives to the autumn dates you’ve already been there and done. Keep reading »
It’s National Singles Week, so why not take this time to refresh your dating life? After all, the changing of the seasons is always a great time to reassess your well-being. Here are some bad dating and relationship habits to swear off. And if you’re taken, we’ve got some tips for you, too. Read more at Tres Sugar…