The Frisky HQ is under construction for the next couple of days so I was planning on working from home. Then yesterday, my internet crapped out and I found myself running to the local coffee shop in my pajamas. Six hours later, I was still sitting in my pajamas. It was an interesting day. There was a blind date that I eavesdropped on for a while. I thought that would be the subject of this week’s Dating Don’ts. Then the Boston Marathon bombing happened and the mood turned dark. I sat in silence for a while, watching CNN. My roommate was next to me, because she had the day off of work to study for a grad school exam. She eventually interrupted the silence to confess that she’s been watching that new show “Ready For Love.” Someone needed to cut the tension.
I laughed. But she was like, “Don’t laugh! They had this whole bit about how you should never say the word ‘fart’ on a date. It was interesting.” Then we got into an in-depth discussion about bodily functions and dating. Because these are the things that people sometimes talk about when terrible things happen in the world. Keep reading »
This morning, I opened Facebook to see that, like usual, I only had one notification and it was from my mom. No complaints! My mom is actually a lot cooler than me and her posts are generally worth a look. This one was no exception. It was Thom Yorke and Nigel Godrich of Atoms for Peace, appearing on Rookie Mag’s“Ask A Grown Man” video series. The teens’ questions are delightfully honest and the answers’ relevance reaches well beyond its target audience. This video is a lovely antidote for anyone in a dating malaise. [Rookie Mag]
About two years ago, I was going through a dating crisis of I’m-going-to-die-alone proportions and sought help from a therapist who specialized in that sort of thing. She gave me all these rules I should be following to help me find love. Like, she told me I should date at least three guys at once and tell each of the guys on date number two that I was dating other people. Then, she instructed me to wait for two to three months and decide which one I liked the best and dump the other two. This is not something I ever would have considered doing on my own, but because I was blaming myself for being single, I was willing to try it her way. Following her advice, I cancelled plans with guy #1 — who I really liked — because guy #2 had asked me out for a drink and I felt obligated. I arrived at the “date” with guy #2 only to discover that without even asking me, he had invited 12 of his closest friends to join us. Long story short (because the rest is pretty lame), the night ended with me crying in a cab on the way home from Brooklyn feeling like poop about myself because even following an expert’s rules, I couldn’t date “right.” Keep reading »
According to a study published in Psychology Today, the place we should all be going to find the love of our lives is Walmart. The study, which polled the 100 most recent Craigslist “Missed Connections” in 15 states, found that people in Texas, Florida, Ohio, Montana and North Carolina named Walmart most frequently as the place where they had fallen in love at first sight.
If shopping at Walmart isn’t really your vibe because you don’t support the company’s politics, other popular “Missed Connection” spots included McDonald’s, the grocery store, bars, the gym and for the folks of NYC, the subway. So basically, this very important study concludes: You can meet people if you go out in public!
I’m eager to make a snarky joke about how love at first site doesn’t exist, and “Missed Connections” are a form of fantasy, however, I basically fell in love at first sight on the subway. So, I’m forced to swallow my own cynicism. But I still won’t shop at Walmart. [CNN]
Dating sucks, even when you’ve got the streetwise wisdom and looks of Joan Holloway. From Roger Sterling to Greg the rapey doctor to her will-they-or-won’t-they? moments with Don Draper, we’ve watched Joan fight like a lioness on her hunt for love. And, man, has she had to! I know I’ve watched “Mad Men” over the years and been consoled at the thought, Well, if even Joan gets wrapped up in relationship drama …
Joan gets a lot of one-liners on the show. Some of those zingers are about sex and dating, but others are dating tips that are good for anybody if you read them the right way. Fix yourself a stiff drink and find out what Joanie has to say has to say about your love life!
I must admit, as much as I adored both options presented in last week’s “You Choose It, We Write It” — and would have and will happily write both — I was especially eager to write one in particular. So thank you to all of you who voted, especially the 55 percent who voted for the winner, “9 Things Spock Would Say About Dating.” I am, after all, a bit of a Trekkie and was sure that the Content Idea Generator was on to something with this idea. And boy, was I right. Spock is officially my dating guru. Click on to read some of his completely logical pearls of relationship wisdom, and may your dating life live long and prosper.
“Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out — here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.”
That’s how now-infamous “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton began her letter to “Princeton women,” advising them to lock down a Princeton man by the time they graduate, lest their lives turn, over the next three decades or so, to fetid piles of vaguely unfulfilling upper-middle-class Princeton shit.
Princeton women — and all women, and actually everybody in a place of transition, as so many college students and young people and old people and middle-aged people are — please allow me to finish her premise with the actual thing you “really need to know that nobody is telling you.”
You don’t have a “shelf life.” There’s almost nothing you can’t undo, deal with or mitigate the damage of. You do not have to set your life trajectory on ascend, now or at any other time. You are going to be fine. Keep reading »
Non-boyfriend: defined as a close, uncomplicated friendship you have with a dude that defies all romantic weirdnesses because you two aren’t dating and have established that you never will. Would he sleep with you if you begged him? Probably. Is there some tiny spark of attraction? Sure. But that’s not the point. The point is that you’re both happy being two single friends who would maybe, in some some second life universe, bang if the moment arose. Until he finds a real girlfriend, and he will because he is an awesome guy, he will be a loyal, devoted, supportive and drama-free friend who you can text whenever the hell you feel like it. Of course, he may become a little scarcer once he gets a girlfriend but that’s OK because you’ll be happy for him. Appreciate him while he’s around. This is an ode to non-boyfriends and all the wonderful things about them… Keep reading »
I keep blinking my eyes. Splashing cold water on my face. Waiting to wake up from the cinematic dream sequence which has been my life for the last three weeks. It all started when I ran into an old friend from college on the subway and the next thing I knew, my love life went from black and white to technicolor in a poof, like when Dorothy landed over the rainbow. So. Yeah. Hi! Greetings from over the rainbow. Colors are brighter here. Food tastes better. Dogs and babies and munchkins all have secret messages just for you. Time is measured in hand holds and kisses and the breeze decides which direction you walk.
I’m trying desperately to make sense of it all. But I fear I have become one of those people: the love-crazed fool who you want to punch in her stupid, shmoopy face. Even in my state of euphoria, I recognize that my type can be terribly annoying. Should you ever find yourself over the rainbow, A) Enjoy it! and B) Try to keep it together so the rest of the world doesn’t want to murder you. Here are some thoughts about how to do that… Keep reading »
I was watching the vintage “Real World” marathon this past weekend on MTV. On the San Francisco season, you may remember that episode where Rachel goes to a coffee shop to give her number to a dude. It doesn’t end up working out, but oh man, this scene gave me a crazy bout of dating nostalgia. I started remembering all the things I used to have to do (most of them terribly embarrassing) when I liked someone. Before the days of Facebook and Google, it took some serious ingenuity just to figure out a guy’s last name. I had to stalk a guy at Little Caesar’s Pizza every day after work just to get his phone number! That’s a lot of individual pizzas to order on an allowance! You have to really like the person to put in that kind of financial commitment. And if they like you back? Whoa. Now it’s all a mouse click away. It’s just too easy. Let’s reminisce some of those extinct pre-Internet dating rituals. Keep reading »