Tinder is pretty basic, and at this point, everyone knows the drill. Swipe right if you like what you see, swipe left if you don’t. Message people at your leisure, while spending a lot of time dodging dicey messages from dudes you probably don’t want to talk to. Easy enough, but maybe your Tinder strategy isn’t really netting the kind of dudes you want. Maybe you’re too picky, swiping left on mostly everybody you see. Maybe you amass matches, collecting them like so many back issues of The New Yorker, recoiling in horror every time one of them messages you. Maybe Tinder paralyzes you with fear, only because you’re just not comfortable with meeting someone through what is basically an app for hand jobs and one night stands. Whatever. We all have our things. But, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Change your game, and maybe Tinder won’t be such a slog. Here are some Tinder strategies you might not be using. Keep reading »
Most people have sex in the pedestrian enclaves of their bedroom, on a Wednesday night, after prime-time television but before “The Daily Show.” It’s a simple affair, but it’s beautiful, because it works. The bedroom is a safe space with ALL the creature comforts you want when you’re doing it: clean sheets, water in plentiful abundance, all the lube you’d ever need, and at the end of everything, a bathroom you can scurry to when the deed is done so you don’t get a bladder or yeast infection. For most, this kind of sexual adventurousness is fine. There are some, however, that comb this earth, armed with a sexual bucket list, intent on doing it in any space two people can feasibly fit. If you find yourself with one of these sexual Lewis and Clarks, be prepared. Arm yourself with this list of places to have sex, ranked from best to worst, and be ready to face whatever challenge they’ve got in mind head on. Keep reading »
Working with someone that you’re dating takes a special kind of mental and emotional fortitude, the ability to keep two parts of your life distinct, with clear boundaries. It’s hard in the modern workplace. We spend so much time at work, and workplaces are getting more and more casual, making the boundaries shifting and fluid. The temptation to let your relationship bleed over into your daily grind is easy, but if you’re a nice, kind person, you should do your absolute best to avoid this. It’s cool that you’ve found someone that you want to spend time with outside of the office as well as in staff meetings and at weird company lunches. That’s a special thing, so cherish it. In the words of RuPaul, “Don’t fuck it up.” Here are some helpful guidelines for how to comport yourself when you’re dating someone you work with. Keep reading »
When I was younger, when it came to my relationships I was mostly concerned with sex. (I assume this is shocking to no one.) I definitely had meaningful relationships, but at the time sex that was the crux of what I wanted.
But as I grew older, sex became relatively less important while other qualities increased in importance. I wanted something more out of relationships than a strictly physical one can provide. Now that I’m in my late-20s, one of the most important qualities I look for is someone who is just fun. Keep reading »
“Dating Naked” is a show on VH1 in which complete strangers gather at a resort somewhere tropical and mosquito-ridden and go on carefully staged dates with strangers, completely naked. It may sound like a ratings gamble, another entree in the already overrun category of dating shows, but the thing about it is that it’s actually brilliant. Sure, part of the entertainment is watching the kind of people that audition for shows of this nature — if you’re a connoisseur of dating shows like the brilliant “Next” on MTV or any and all iterations of “The Bachelor,” you’ll understand immediately that the casting directors pick the most ridiculous, crazy and slightly desperate people with a complete lack of self-awareness, because that makes the best television. This is definitely true of this show, but the fact that they are legitimately and truly naked as the day they were born ups the ante. I watched the show on the suggestion of many people whose opinion I valued, and let me tell you, I was not disappointed. Watching strangers who have just met climb into a human hamster ball and bob in the waves on a tropical beach while completely naked is something that I don’t think will ever get old.
I though that I’d learn nothing from this show, that it would be just mindless entertainment, but I was pleasantly surprised. It turns out that reality television isn’t necessarily the place where human intellect goes to die. Here are a few assorted lessons and observations from “Dating Naked.” Keep reading »
My best friend is a woman. My best friend in college was a woman. In fact, a majority of my closest friends since college have been women. And this presents a problem in my dating life.
There isn’t one single reason why I have more female friends than male ones and if you looked at my weekly activities, it would seem strange that I don’t have more male friends. Every weekend I enjoy traditionally masculine, rip-my-chest-hair-out activities, like hockey and football. Yet it’s my female friends who I tend to call when I want to go out.
For starters, I do have a somewhat functional brain that is capable of functioning independently of my penis (albeit the little guy does occasionally develop a Napoleon complex). This has led to several of my close female friends starting out as love interests. Others I met while on my college’s ski team. Additionally, there is the fact that most of the closest male friends I had in college were the earliest to get married and have kids. Keep reading »