It went as perfectly perfect as a breakup could go, I suppose.
Only a few days after my last Dater X post, when I told you all about my hopes of moving things forward with Andrew, he came over to my place to hang out and, without warning, dropped a bomb on me. More »
I did it. I actually did it.
What may sound unsubstantial, I experienced with a great deal of deliberation ending in elation. I felt heroic even. What I had always imagined was simple for others felt practically impossible to me. Yes, I’m talking about the ex-boyfriend unfriend. … More »
Dear Ernest Baker,
In your recent personal essay on Gawker titled “The Reality of Dating White Women When You Are Black,” you stated unequivocally that you are not a “sell out” because you are a Black man who chooses to seriously date only White women. As a 24-year-old Black woman with very similar… More »
The day I realized that Kyle and I weren’t going to get married was the day he told me how he’d always dreamed of honeymooning at Disneyland Paris.
My family was into nature. Most of our vacations were spent hiking through national parks. But Kyle’s family went to the same place every single… More »
For the first time in a while, I feel like I’m entering into a relationship at a healthy, comfortable pace. Things with Andrew are exactly where they should be: we’re becoming more open with each other emotionally and physically, we’ve met each other’s friends (and I’ve even met some of his family members), we continue… More »
I’ve always been told that true love will find you when you’re least expecting it. I’ve always thought that was a load of bullshit. Like I’m supposed to believe that right after you, for example, decide to ease up on your hunt for a soulmate and embrace your single status, a guy who noticed you… More »
To say I was shocked when I saw my ex-boyfriend Don’s name pop up on my phone last month is an understatement. But since then, we’ve been casually chatting, exchanging text messages here and there and rekindling our friendship. As difficult as it was not having him around for a while, I can now sleep easy knowing… More »
My first experience with Tinder was on the patio of my favorite bar one night last summer, sitting with friend. “You have to try this app,” she told me. “You’re gonna love it.”
I was out of a relationship, not interested in dating, but needed some sort of nudge to get me back… More »
We live in a culture that values coupledom and biological families over anything else. This is especially true for women, who are seen as more relationship-oriented than men. We hold romantic relationships up as the ultimate end goal, the prize, the be-all and end-all. We tend to believe this regardless of whether a particular pairing… More »
It’s been a month to the day since I met Andrew, my surprisingly charming OKCupid run-in who recognized me and introduced himself out at a bar. We’ve been hanging out pretty consistently over the last few weeks, going on dates every few days, and continuing to get to know each other. I can honestly say that… More »
A few weeks ago, I abandoned my practice of ruthlessly hunting down a husband like a poacher on the hunt for ivory tusks in favor of focusing on my own personal growth and being the happiest single woman I can be. Since then, I met and have gone on a few dates with a very… More »
I have a confession to make, one that’s taken me 28 years to admit to anyone but myself: I’m passive aggressive. It’s a trait that’s popped up countless times over the years, in all sorts of situations: with roommates and dirty dishes (hello, my OCD), with siblings and silly feuds, and with my fiancé and… More »
Over the weekend, my boyfriend and I were out with some friends when the topic of preferred pizza toppings came up (as it does in every great conversation). One of the guys at the table admitted he had a penchant for anchovy pizzas, but his motives were less than pure: “I order anchovies on my… More »
When it comes to dating, I have a lot of preferences. I’d prefer to end up with someone who shares my religion, my political views and my musical interests. I’d prefer to find a man who has a college education, a job he enjoys and tight-knit family. But those are preferences— not dealbreakers. If I… More »
A few years ago, I had a Big, Terrible Breakup. I’d been living with a guy, whom I loved, wanted to marry and raise kids with. He wanted those things, too, until he didn’t. I hadn’t seen the split coming and felt completely gobsmacked.
I turned around, reactivated my OKCupid profile, and began dating… More »
The Otherhood: a growing population of educated, professional women in their 30s and 40s who have yet to find love or start a family. In fact, statistics show that almost 50 percent of American women are childless — yet our society still isn’t quite sure how to treat these women, placing all sorts of assumptions… More »
The other night when a number I didn’t recognize flashed on my phone, I decided to answer the call and was greeted with a cheerful, “Hey there, it’s Andrew.”
“Andrew?” I replied, clearly confused about who was on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry. Andrew who?”
“From the bar… More »
I’ve logged in lots of time Planet Single and Planet Relationship alike. Having experienced both, I can say that the life of a single gal and the life of a coupled/married lady are actually pretty different — and not just because when you’re partnered up, you become really motivated to finally toss out all those… More »
You know that thing where you feel really, really embarrassed for someone you don’t even know? Where you cringe watching what’s happening to them? Where you squirm instead and think Oh my God I feel so bad for you that this exists? That’s how I feel about this 1996 clip of Jon Hamm on a… More »