This week, I found myself in a position with Scar Twin that I’ve never been in before (and no, I’m not talking about sexual positions— that’s a story for another day). Anyway, as many of you know, my last long-term relationship ended about four years ago when Patrick Bateman decided to have two girlfriends and two lives in two different states. Since then, I’ve found myself on an endless carousel ride of courtships lasting approximately two months each before things turn to shit. During those short-lived romances, the issue of money never really came up. And then, this week, it did. Keep reading »
I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to find out if Scar Twin and I got it on. And BOY, DID WE.
You see, after I quite cathartically wrote to you all about my dilemma last week, it became evident to me that the real reason I wasn’t having sex wasn’t because I felt emotionally unready. My relationship with Scar Twin is going well, has been progressing on all levels, and I feel very confidently that this “thing” we have was (and is) headed in a positive direction. Our chemistry is undeniable, and it was obvious that we were both itching to do the deed. After all, sex is an important part of any relationship, and it’s fair to say we were both ready to see if we were as compatible in the bedroom as we are out of it. I think, underneath all of the questioning was just plain fear of rejection. Once you sleep with someone, you become vulnerable in a way you weren’t before. You’re more invested, and yes, sometimes people become attached. More than anything, I think I worried that becoming even more intimate with Scar Twin would make things hurt even worse if they didn’t work out. But then I realized that I was depriving myself of a healthy, natural thing that could take our relationship to the next step, so I said “fuck it,” and knew what I needed to do. Keep reading »
My boyfriend and I moved in together last July. At the time, we had been dating for just shy of six months.
If a friend had planned to do what I did, and had asked me for advice, I would have told her that it was too soon. “What’s the rush?” I would have said. “Moving in together this early is frankly insane,” I would probably have added.
And I don’t disagree with my friend-self. I have never been a risk-taker; in fact, I’ve always been very averse to change. I had never even come close to living with a boyfriend, although I did have a few year-plus-long relationships. My less than adventurous personality is also what kept me in Boston, my hometown, for almost five years after graduating college. Why would I leave when my friends and family were there? I didn’t understand why people kept moving away from our safe cocoon. Keep reading »
In the lifecycle of dating, there’s a black hole smack dab in the middle of “I’m talking to someone” and “He’s my boyfriend,” that I like to call Exclusivity Limbo. I’ve been in that spot before and I’ve detailed my time there, what with the constant questioning, confusion and uncertainty of where things stand. But even though a relationship status may remain undefined, the physical and sexual cravings just continue to escalate. So, in a predicament that could be much worse, I find myself wondering one thing: to bang or not to bang? Keep reading »
In dating, it’s always important to smile, laugh, respect each other and feel a mutual connection, but until now, I can honestly say I’d forgotten what it feels like to be comfortable with someone, how to be my truest self from the get-go. At no fault of my own, I feel like that missing piece wasn’t something I had much control over. I truly believe it takes the right person to draw that authenticity out of you. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. But when it does happen, that comfort can create a little blind spot where red flags go to hide. I, more now than ever, am on the lookout for them. Keep reading »
When we met at college, little did we know that between the two of us, we would spend the next few years living in five different countries (U.S., France, China, Australia and England) on four different continents . Naturally, when we made our initial moves, our heads were full of images of exotic foreign men and exciting adventures. But, as with many things about living abroad, dating abroad turned out to hold some surprises in store for us. During that time, we dated some weird people, made some questionable choices, and occasionally fell flat on our faces while trying to flirt in a second language.
Now that we’re both living in London, we’ve come to view these dates fondly (though it took longer for some than others) and started cataloging the good, the bad, and the extremely strange men that we dated. These are the strangest eight things that happened to us while dating abroad: Keep reading »