Tag Archives: dating story

Dealbreaker: He Didn’t Tell Me He Was Engaged Until We Were About To Have Sex

Dealbreaker: Dog Kicker
Dealbreaker: He Kicked My Dog
He kicked her dog. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Huge Penis
His penis was so big that it made her cry. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Slut Shamer
He was a slut shamer, so she was outta there. Read More »
Dealbreaker: He Didn't Tell Me He Was Engaged Until We Were About To Have Sex

Mike* added me on Facebook and struck up conversation the day after our mutual friend – who was under the impression that we were both single and searching – set us up. We hit it off immediately. I did all the relevant Google stalking research, watched YouTube videos where he discussed important things he learned at Yale, internally combusted over how perfect we seemed for each other and hypothesized about what our babies would look like.

Conversation seemed to be going so smoothly and I was feeling giddy as fuck, so I didn’t even bother to give myself a moment to breathe and trip over reality when he said, “Screw it! I’m driving to LA tomorrow to take you out.”

The thing is, although I get that the above was potentially just naïve by me, what followed was perhaps one of the best, most fun, most connected first dates I’ve ever had. Conversation was engaging and never ending, we laughed so much we made outright dicks of ourselves, and I felt extremely comfortable with him. I literally cannot emphasize enough how uncanny it all felt, which is a sentiment he later voiced out loud when he quipped that it felt like I was “already his girlfriend.” Keep reading »

Dater X: Owning Up To My Dating Dealbreakers

Dater X: Owning Up To My Dating Dealbreakers

Now that I’ve been single for a couple of weeks, I’ve been upping my online dating game in hopes of meeting some eligible bachelors. I spent a solid three hours this weekend updating my OKCupid profile, adding new photos of myself and just seeing what’s out there, and I even created a profile on HowAboutWe.com. Since then, I’ve found myself chatting with a handful of potentials— a witty lawyer, a CrossFit enthusiast (I know, I know), a financial consultant and a bearded guy who works for an airline, whom I’ve appropriately nicknamed “Wings.”

In the past, I took a pretty reserved approach to online dating, letting others message me first and skimming through my messages every once in a blue moon. But this time around, I’m doing things differently. I’m going to reach out to the people I want to talk to and cut through the bullshit early on by being my most honest self from the get-go. If your first message to me simply says “hi,” without any thought behind it, I’m deleting it. If your profile is vague and you’re not making an effort, I’m not interested. The old me is gone, and the new, no-nonsense dater is here to stay. Thankfully, my new approach seems to be paying off. After multiple exchanges back and forth with Mr. CrossFit, I received a very straightforward message from him in response to my telling him I’m a “picky dater.”

“So am I,” he confessed. “So, let’s be straight with each other. What are your dating dealbreakers? Please, be 100 percent open and honest.” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: It Isn’t Easy Dating Someone With OCD

Girl Talk: It Isn't Easy Dating Someone With OCD
My Weird OCD Quirks
The five weird ways Amelia's OCD manifests itself. Read More »

At the beginning of our relationship, my now-wife “Charlotte” came over to my place for the first time and my room was immaculate. The pens and pencils on my desk were organized in straight lines. You could have bounced a quarter off my bed.  Even the photos and posters on the wall were a study in flawless geometric alignment.

Charlotte just thought I was a “neat freak” at first, which, honestly, isn’t such a bad characteristic when you start seeing someone. But as time passed, she realized that my neat and clean ways went much deeper than just about being organized. After we moved in together, Charlotte started noticing some odd behaviors. For example, if something isn’t arranged just the way I like it on the desk, my breathing becomes heavy and I have a mini panic attack until the disorganized piles became organized piles. The first time she witnessed this, she thought I was overreacting and told me to “calm down — it’s just a little bit messy.” Yet my mind couldn’t think of anything else but the books that weren’t perfectly aligned, the pile of paper that wasn’t neatly stacked, the odd objects — a pen, a lighter, and some sunglasses — that were strewn about without any care about their placement in relationship to all of the other objects. I couldn’t continue on with my day without organizing that desk. So I sat down and organized it as Charlotte looked on with consternation.

She suddenly knew that she was in a relationship with someone who has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Keep reading »

Dater X: Missing Him Or Missing The Idea Of Him?

Dater-X--Missing-Him-Or-Missing-The-Idea-Of-Him

Well, I successfully made it through Valentine’s Day without needing Xanax or calling an ex-boyfriend, so I’d say it was a great success. But before I headed out on February 14th for a singles’ feast and game night with some of my favorite ladies, I heard from Officer Handsoming. Shocked to see his name appear on my phone, I felt equal parts annoyed and surprised that he’d reach out on Valentine’s Day, since his lack of planning for the holiday ultimately fueled our split.

“Hey. How’d you make it through the snowstorm?” his text read.

“Fine, thanks. Have you had many stabbings and out-of-control ex-boyfriend bonfires to tend to today?” I joked, knowing he was on the clock.

“Not so far, but there’s still time,” he wrote with a wink emoticon. “My schedule changed and I’m no longer working overnight. What are you up to tonight?” Keep reading »

Dater X: Another One Bites The Dust

Dater X: Another One Bites The Dust

Officer Handsoming arrived at my apartment with a carton of chicken noodle soup in one hand and a greasy bag of french fries in the other, unsure which I preferred when nursing a hangover.

How thoughtful, I said to myself while we plopped down on my couch to watch “Silver Linings Playbook.” I cracked open the soup, unwrapped the fries and picked at both, before asking him what his schedule looked like this week. In between bites of his burger, he ran through an endless list of court dates, night shifts, day shifts and apartment searching appointments.

“I noticed you casually skipped right over Valentine’s Day,” I said, playfully.

“I told you, I have to work on Valentine’s Day. And all weekend, for that matter,” he said, his eyes fixed on the TV.

“But still, don’t you want to acknowledge it at all? Maybe next weekend, when you’re off, we can go away and stay in a hotel for a night or something…” I offered.

I knew that this was the beginning of the end. A few minutes later, he broke his silence.

“What’s the matter? You’re mad at me now because I didn’t plan anything for Valentine’s Day, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I’m concerned,” I said matter-of-factly. “About us.” Keep reading »

The Ghosts Of Valentine’s Day Past: In Which Ami Cohabitates With Seven Cats

Whether you’re currently single or coupled up, it’s always interesting to ponder how different your life might look if you’d made different relationship choices along the way. What if you’d stayed with the wrong guy, settled for the good-enough guy, gone on one date instead of another, or said “yes” instead of “no” (or vice versa) at a crucial romantic juncture? In honor of this month’s lovey-dovey holiday, we’re taking you on a tour or our Ghosts Of Valentine’s Day Past — exploring the strange, sad, and silly possibilities of our romantic lives that, for whatever reason, weren’t meant to be. Here’s Ami’s story…

When I was 13, I fell in love for the first time. Like, sleep outside so I could stargaze and stay up all night writing tortured poetry in love. His name was Jeremy and we met backstage on the set of “West Side Story,” a community theater play I was in with his older brother. Two star-crossed lovers from rival high schools. Once I got up the nerve to talk to the cute guy with the long-brown hair and the baja hoodie, I learned that in his spare time he liked to played the guitar and smoke pot. During our courtship, he made me a mix tape featuring his favorite tunes from The Cure, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and of course, the song “Jeremy” by Pearl Jam. It was love at first site, as we labeled it, and we often talked about running away and getting married … if only we had drivers licenses. But there was just one problem: his cat and my allergies were not compatible. That, and the fact that he cheated on me with a girl named Amy (the more common spelling) and broke my heart. But mostly, the cat. In my alternate universe Valentine’s Day, Jeremy and I are still together and here’s what we’re up to… Keep reading »

Dater X: Love On Borrowed Time

Dater X: Love On Borrowed Time
TRY SOMETHING NEW!
The Frisky Dating
Find better dates on The Frisky Dating. Read More »

In between his overnight shifts this weekend, my boyfriend (that’s the first time I’m calling him that, and it’s weird considering he might soon be my ex-boyfriend) called me to check in and see how I was doing. Around Wednesday, I found myself in a bit of an emotional funk, feeling unsettled in pretty much every aspect of my life: my friendships, my relationship and my living situation, to name a few. There’s been a certain lack of stability with each one recently—most notably, the possibility of Officer Handsoming being transferred nearly two hours away for work, which he first warned me about last week.

After I quickly recapped my Friday night and told Officer Handsoming that I was still feeling like there were a bunch of balls up in the air, I took his silence as a sign that he was about to add to the anxiety. Keep reading »

Life After Dating: My First Coupled Valentine’s Day Is Going To Be Anticlimactic

Life After Dating: My First Coupled Valentine's Day Is Going To Be Anticlimactic

So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.

“What should we do for Valentine’s Day?” I asked my boyfriend.

He shrugged. I shrugged back. We looked at each other.

“I hate those prix fixe dinners,” he said.

“Yeah, me too,” I agreed. “So what then? What can we do that’s not dinner?”

We mutually shrugged once again and went back to talking about documentaries we wanted to see.

And that was that. We’re not doing anything for Valentine’s Day. Well, nothing special, anyway. Keep reading »

Dater X: I Was Worrying About The Wrong Thing

Dater X: I Was Worrying About The Wrong Thing

Officer Handsoming and I had “the talk.” Well, sort of. I knew that if I didn’t bring up our relationship status soon, my exclusivity limbo anxiety would bubble up inside of me and explode. So, I forced myself to ask.

“I have a question,” I started. “I want you to be honest. Are you seeing other people, or, rather, do you still want to see other people?”

The Oh God, This Conversation Is About To Happen look on his face told me he knew that we were about to embark on a trip to Exclusiveville. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: On Loving Someone With Mental Illness

Dating Don'ts: Friend's BF
Dating Don'ts: 6 Ways To Deal When You Hate Your Friend's Boyfriend
How to deal when you hate the person your friend is dating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts:Younger
Dating Don’ts: Why Dating Younger Is Not For Me
The case against dating younger. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Nice Guys
Dating Don'ts: The Difference Between Nice Guys And Guys Who Are Nice
There is a difference between nice guys and guys who are nice. Read More »
Dating-Don'ts--On-Loving-Someone-With-Mental-Illness

For the majority of my last relationship, my partner was in the throes of a slowly unwinding nervous breakdown. He moved to New York at the same time I did, and lived for a brief period in a state of almost too much togetherness, bound because we loved each other, but also because we didn’t know what else to do. There is a strange thing that happens when you first move to a new city. Stripped free of your usual comforts, you cling readily and fiercely to whatever is available. For us, it was one another, and that felt fine to me, but less so to him. With the stress of living in a new city and delving into a new relationship, his anxiety and depression blossomed beyond the average quarter-life crisis into something much more serious. Keep reading »

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