Tag Archives: dating story

Dater X: Finding The Love My Mother Lost

Dater X: Finding The Love My Mother Lost

I’ve been writing Dater X for almost a year now, and can honestly say that putting everything out there about my love life hasn’t been easy. Writing this column is therapeutic in a way, because it allows me to reflect on my relationships, both good and bad, and figure out how to move forward with more insight, intuition and confidence. But with that somewhat comforting self-analysis also comes a lot of pressure. I write my story because I want to, but I’m also making myself vulnerable by writing about real people, real feelings and real struggles. Some weeks I blog freely, not giving a fuck what kind of criticism will come my way, and other weeks, I worry about being judged, disrespected, and oftentimes, having my identity uncovered. I’m never certain how I’ll feel at the end of the day, especially on days when I write Dater X, but I know why I do it. I do it because I don’t want to end up like my mom. I’ll share her story with you to give you more insight into why I do what I do—from writing this blog to dating tirelessly and relentlessly for the last several years. It’s hardly a sob story, but it’s one that’s shaped me into who I am. Keep reading »

Dater XY: How To Deal With Dating Fatigue

Dater XY: How To Deal With Dating Fatigue

Dating. It’s a hard knock life.

You start out excited about the possibilities and hit the ground running. This excitement eventually fades to fatigue as you continue to go out with new individuals with the same result, time after time. Once you get to this point, it’s important to take a timeout and rejuvenate. If you don’t, you’ll end up either A) going out with someone you know you’re not compatible with or B) meet someone who’s a great match, but be unwilling to put in the effort to make a relationship work.

This is where I am at right now. I’m tired of having the same conversations about likes/dislikes. I’m tired of not seeing some of my friends as much as I’d like to (my fault there and no one else’s). Tired of attempting to come up with unique date ideas. Hell, I’m tired of spending money. This is not a good place to be in while dating. Keep reading »

Dater X: On “Transparency Sex” & What’s Different This Time Around

Dater X: On "Transparency Sex" & What's Different This Time Around

To me, sex is much more than just a biological need. Humanity relies on sex for procreation, but the vast majority of the world also turns to sex for pleasure and release. Some people have sex simply to fulfill their physical needs, others see it as a sacred act that should only be shared between people who love each other, and some, like myself, think sex can mean different things with different people in different situations. Sometimes, it doesn’t really even “mean” anything— it’s just … had. I’ve had great sex many times in my life, with no experience feeling or meaning the same. So what exactly makes my idea of “amazing, mind-blowing” sex so amazing and mind-blowing? There’s much more to it than simply getting off. And with Baby Face, that’s been the case. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Are You Keeping A Relationship On The Backburner?

Dating Don'ts: Are You Keeping A Relationship On The Backburner?

We all have that one person who lingers. You know, that person you dated for a little while, but never really cut ties with. Maybe you periodically check in with them, just to see how they’re doing, or keep an eye on their Facebook relationship status to see if they’re still available. Maybe they’re the person you’re interested in, but not for the immediate future. Maybe you see yourself with them five years down the line, when you’re ready to settle, and hopefully they feel the same way, too. Maybe you entertain the idea of starting it up again, when you’ve blown through all your Tinder matches and your OKCupid inbox holds nothing but baby MRAs and leering sexual come-ons. This, my friends, is a backburner relationship, described in The Atlantic as “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains a degree of some communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.” It sounds bad, like the worst possible way to keep someone tethered to you without taking action, but really, it’s not the worst thing. Chances are, you’re doing it with someone in your life, and have been for quite some time. Keep reading »

6 Questions Women Who Date Older Men Are Sick Of Hearing

Landing An Older Man
Almie Rose has some advice for getting your own grey-haired hottie. Read More »

Since my dating history only began after college, I never believed I had a specific physical type. I met a guy in high school that remained my boyfriend throughout most of college, which means my dating history didn’t start until I will well into my twenties. After a slew of brief flings and a first date that ended in a flat tire and me on my back, jacking up his Toyota Camry on the side of the highway in the pouring rain, I realized that perhaps I needed one — I just never expected my ‘type’ to include older men. Keep reading »

Dater XY: How Long Will This Sexual Hangover Last?

Dater XY: How Long Will This Sexual Hangover Last?

Last Wednesday, The Chewer called to ask if I’d like to go on another date this weekend. I had been leaning against the “post-sex guilt” date but decided a short walk around the park and coffee wouldn’t kill me on a nice fall day.

As we walked around the park the usual awkward silence was intermixed with the occasional question and answer. Not wanting to waste anymore of each other’s time, I suggested we sit down on a bench and talk. Without missing a beat, The Chewer asked, “You don’t want to see me anymore, do you?” Keep reading »

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