As I approach my two-year anniversary as an online dater (AKA my slow descent into madness), I’m finding myself incredibly bitter about the fact that I still haven’t met “the one.” I’ve always believed that there are multiple soul mates out there for everyone, but that the one person you end up with is entirely dependent upon a series of choices you make in life. Kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, I feel that every decision I make — from selecting a career path, right down to whether or not I should run a yellow light — will determine which of those guys I end up with. In my eyes, there’s a different one at the end of every storyline. After dozens of dates and three pseudo-relationships — the longest of which lasted two months — I’m starting to doubt my theory. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: dating story
No boyfriend is perfect. But when you’ve taken one into your heart, you’ve made a silent vow to accept each other as you are, imperfections, foibles and all. You’ve asked him a quadrillion times to stop leaving his wet towel on the carpet, yet, faithfully, it ends up there after every shower. And each day, you pick it up and hang it on the hook behind the bathroom door because, you know that he will make you scrambled eggs with cheese, just the way you like them, without being asked. This is love. What redeems him for the mildew stain he’s left behind in your bedroom? The little things he remembers that make your heart cartwheel with joy. Remembering things like your anniversary are a given, but other personal details — like the anniversary of your gram’s passing — can mean so much more. Here are a few: Keep reading »
This past week, I got a bunch of messages on OKCupid. Some of the guys I’d never consider because I tend to avoid men who tell me they prefer to “stay home on most Friday nights and read poetry with a good glass of single malt.” Others seemed too old for me… and that’s not even including the scotch sippers. Out of the eight messages I received, there were two contenders that seemed datable.
Both were seemingly nice guys — attractive with ambition and wit. Hot Doctor is just finishing up med school and has a smile that would charm the knickers off grandma. The other guy, whom I’ve dubbed Sensitive Frat Bro, is a sweet entrepreneur who could just as easily be wearing a toga and chugging a beer on a Phi Kappa Tau recruitment poster. Eligible bachelors on free dating websites (and in life) are pretty hard to come by, so I decided to message them back. After talking to both of my suitors (one on Gchat and the other on OKCupid instant messenger) for several days in a row about things like family, hobbies, and careers, they both brought up the topic of sex. Keep reading »
Whether Stephanie Smith and her attempt to earn an engagement ring by making her boyfriend Eric 300 sandwiches and blogging about it annoyed you or not, you won’t be able to help but enjoy one woman’s reaction to the project. Freelance writer Stacy Brook, responded Smith’s joke, which apparently went over our heads, with a spoof blog, Ordering 300 Sandwiches, described as her “attempt to win a man’s heart, while expending as little effort as possible.”
Already on sandwich #18 for “J,” her creations like “The Shitty Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Roll,” (“Today I ordered J a scrambled egg and cheese with bacon on a roll from the local deli. The sandwich was delivered two hours late, and without the promised bacon. Upon this discovery, I looked at J and said, ‘You better get used to disappointment. You’re 299 sandwiches away from a lifetime’s worth.’”) and “Half a Bag of Milano Cookies” (“I bought them, J ate them, and if the Italians are calling them ‘sandwiches,’ as far as I’m concerned, they count.”) are much more within my culinary and romantic comfort zone. Keep reading »
This HuffPost Live interview with Romeo Rose —the guy behind “Sleepless In Austin,” a blog offering money to someone who can introduce him to a woman who fits his absurd list of racist, slut-shaming requirements — doesn’t just have me wondering why this one person is sucking up so much media attention with his opinions on why he doesn’t want “a fat woman” and “the skin color of black is not pretty.” I’m also starting to feel uncomfortable that there’s actually something wrong with him … like Kony 2012 Jason Russell naked-public-meltdown wrong with him. I’m not totally sure Romeo Rose, vile and offensive as he is, is self-aware enough to realize he’s the joke here. He seems utterly sincere in this interview — which, by the way, is filled with racist, offensive shit towards the end and NSFW — in a way that’s, frankly, sad. Watching this trainwreck is starting to feel Hugo Schwyzer-esque. The interviewer, Caitlyn Becker, composed herself pretty well during this, but I’m inclined to think Romeo Rose’s next conversation should be with some good doctors. [Huffington Post]
Let me start off by responding to those of you who thought I might be taking the New York Post profile about Stephanie Smith’s 300Sandwiches blog too seriously. I have no problem with sandwiches — in fact, Smith’s blondie ice cream thing is making me drool as we speak. I have no problem with her, actually. Smith seems like a very nice person. And her boyfriend Eric, though not even in the ball park of an Alexander Skarsgård look-alike, is probably a nice enough human being too. Although I did find his advice to woman about “how to keep a man happy” irritating.
What I think gave me the squickees about the story was twofold: 1) I hate the perpetuation of the idea that women in their 30s should be desperate or hustling for engagement/marriage/babies. Knowing that it took Smith 176 sandwiches to realize this was a misguided approach to her love life bothers me. We need to read about that for 176 sandwiches … why? And for the record, I still do think it’s weird that Eric made a “joke” about her being 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring. Any joke that references “earning marriage” just doesn’t make me LOL. But maybe that’s just me. 2) This whole project reeks of a gimmick to get a book deal. Blog to book adaptations al a “40 Days Of Dating” are hot with publishers and producers and I’d be willing to place a healthy wager on the fact that this is Smith’s goal, even though she claims it is not in the follow up piece she published in the NY Post today. Hey, it pays to be a staff writer. I should know. This is my follow up piece. Keep reading »
If Z100 announces it’s “an emerging trend,” you know it’s time to run out and throw yourself a fake bachelorette party. At least that’s what single 20-something blogger Bonnie Gleicher and her group of girlfriends did. It’s unclear as to why fake bachelorette showers are suddenly a thing — why would anyone want to wear penis hats in public unless they absolutely HAD to? — but in Gleicher’s case, she and her friends chose to parade around NYC’s West Village in tiaras and garter belts, taking turns pretending to be the bide-to-be, to answer one question: How desirable is unavailable? The results of her social experiment were really interesting and also kind of sad. Keep reading »
Let’s play choose your own relationship adventure. Suppose one day you make your boyfriend a turkey and Swiss sandwich on toasted wheat bread. (This would never happen in my world because I don’t cook, but I am suspending disbelief for the sake of the game.) Then imagine that after he devours your sandwich he says: “Honey, you’re 299 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!” Do you: A) Break up with him because that’s an exceptionally bizarre and kind of sexist proposition and you’re not down with trying to “earn” a ring or B) Step up to the plate and prove that you are wife material by making him 300 sandwiches and and blogging about it?
In a somewhat disturbing New York Post profile, which reads as outdated advice about how to prove you’ll make a great wifey, Page Six reporter Stephanie Smith recounts how she took on the challenge of making her boyfriend Eric (described as a “Star Wars” obsessed Alexander Skarsgård look-alike) 300 sammies in exchange for a ring. Because to him, “sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex.” You can read all about Smith’s quest to woo Sandwich Boyfriend with cold cuts on wheat in enough time “to get engaged, married and have babies before [exiting her] childbearing years” on her blog, 300Sandwiches.com. Oh, she also shares her gourmet sammie recipes. Keep reading »
I am desperately hoping Sleepless In Austin — allegedly the work of a photographer named Larry Busby who goes by the name Romeo Rose — is a prank.
But given that he’s offered $1,500 as a “finder’s fee” for the person who finds him a girlfriend and an extra $1,000 if it leads to marriage, this miiiight be serious.
Now, we could all use a little extra scratch. Shouldn’t be so hard to find some bro in Austin a lady, right? Well, let’s take a look at Larry Busby’s dating requirements! Keep reading »
What I didn’t tell you last week was that I was dating someone.
He was a 25-year-old who recently returned from Europe where he lived as an expat for almost a year, met a girl, fell in love, then got his heart broken before he returned. I asked him multiple times if he was ready to date again. Each time I asked, he assured me he was totally ready to move on. We only went out a few times, but those instances were enough to feel a connection. Conversation was easy, the attraction was certainly there and I felt like I could be myself with him.
His only obvious pitfall was that he wore skinny jeans — a style he adopted during his stint in Europe. While I love to admire the male physique, I feel there are some fashions that are better suited for female humans. Besides, I felt like the tight pants distracted from his gorgeous hazel eyes and rugby player good looks.
Crotch-hugging pants aside, I was really excited about Skinny Jeans and the possibility that there might be something there. At least until he called me up and told me he was having money problems and wasn’t sure he could “give me what I deserved.” Then two days later he changed his tune telling me he wasn’t over his ex and couldn’t continue to pursue something with me because he “didn’t realize he wasn’t emotionally over his last relationship.” Typical. I have no idea if he was being honest about his feelings or just politely brushing me off, but I’m not about to date someone who’s clearly not over his ex.