dating story - Page 3

Dater X: A Penny For Your Thoughts

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen a therapist, but with the new year comes new self-discovery. Just last week, I bit my ring fingernail down to a three-centimeter stub and decided it would probably be in my best interest (and my fingernails’ best interest) to tackle some of the anxiety I’ve been having… More »


Dater X: Love Is About Choice, Not Chance

I’m convinced that 2015 is going to be a year of learning for me. We’re only a few weeks into the new year, and I like to think I’ve already discovered quite a few things about myself, big and small, both in life and in love. But it wasn’t until I got together with my… More »


Dater X: My Relationship Goal For The New Year Is To Be Secure With Me

In my last post, I shared with you a comprehensive list of guys I’ve dated, slept with, or come in contact with over the last year, and the lessons I learned from each. Some of them were men I’d met only once or twice, and others were guys who I actually had feelings for, but… More »


Dater X: The Men Of 2014 And What They’ve Taught Me

When I tried to recall all the men who’ve come and gone in my love life over the last year, I wasn’t surprised to find myself staring at a list of names and anxiously tapping my pen, knowing there were a couple I’d forgotten. 2014 was most certainly The Year Of The Dudes. With almost… More »


These Vintage “Ideal Love Mate” Trading Cards From 1941 Are Delightfully Sexist

There’s a guy at the Brooklyn Flea Market who sells an impressive and ever-growing collection of vintage/retro kids toys and collectibles, including action figures, matchbox cars, wind-up toys, Garbage Pail Kids, the random remains of long forgotten rock collections and the like. It’s fun to sift through everything he’s got, either to get nostalgic about… More »


Dater X: I’m Going To Have To Say No To “Fuck Yes Or No”

Earlier this week, a friend of mine sent me an article by Mark Manson titled “Fuck Yes or No,” with a simple directive: “Read this.” Since it had the word ‘fuck’ in it, I was obviously sold, considering the F-bomb has been my favorite word since I was old enough to pronounce consonants.

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Life After Dating: Loving A Grad Student Without Going Insane

“Be prepared for a breakup about three weeks from now.” That was the relationship advice I got from a girl in her second year of my boyfriend’s graduate program, just before he started the first semester of his MFA in creative writing.

She had reason to be cynical: grad school means a convoluted… More »


Dater X: Is Success A Turn-Off For Some Men?

Last Friday, I was hanging out with two of my girlfriends and our pals Jack and José (Daniels and Cuervo, that is), when I heard myself uttering the words, “He’s obviously intimidated by your success.” Though a cliche, I actually meant it. I was trying to console my friend Bree, who had just been ghosted… More »


Men Check Out My Dog More Than Me & I Have Mixed Feels About It

Men check out my dog more than me. I only wish I were kidding.

I’ve gotten used to catching unexpected smiles creep onto strangers’ faces while gazing at Henny (why yes, she does look like a bear cub). But after one of our daily walks last month, during which I passed four men… More »


Dater X: Short Stacks With A Side Of Self-Reflection

“So what’s the deal with that dude you’ve been seeing?” my friend asked, chowing down on a massive pile of chocolate pancakes and scrambled eggs. “You guys still good?”

I hadn’t seen Darius in a couple of years, but it was like no time had passed at all. We’ll usually talk on the… More »


Dater X: Timing Is Everything

We both knew we needed to have a talk, but neither of us were saying anything. Over the past couple of weeks, ever since Baby Face and I agreed to slow down our relationship, I’ve done a lot of thinking. My feelings for Baby Face hadn’t faltered one bit and our communication had actually become… More »


What I’ve Learned About Size And Body Image By Dating A Fat Man

I thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. But during the three years we’ve been together, he’s taught me a lot about size, fatness and self-care. How? By being fat and unapologetic.

My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things… More »


Dater X: 10 Red Flags & Warning Signs That I Look For When I’m Dating

Every new relationship comes with its own bag of possibilities and pitfalls. We approach new romance hopefully, keeping our eyes peeled for warning signs and red flags that might tip us off about a character flaw or mismatch, and determine an outcome accordingly. But everybody’s past is different, and depending on what you want and… More »


Dater X: Pumping The Brakes

It’s no secret I’ve been hurt in the past. Patrick Bateman broke my heart and left me with some serious trust issues and therapy bills to show for it, which is why it’s imperative I end up with someone who’s open and honest about his intentions and feelings. Last week, Baby Face proved to me… More »


Dater X: Finding The Love My Mother Lost

I’ve been writing Dater X for almost a year now, and can honestly say that putting everything out there about my love life hasn’t been easy. Writing this column is therapeutic in a way, because it allows me to reflect on my relationships, both good and bad, and figure out how to move forward with… More »


Dater XY: How To Deal With Dating Fatigue

Dating. It’s a hard knock life.

You start out excited about the possibilities and hit the ground running. This excitement eventually fades to fatigue as you continue to go out with new individuals with the same result, time after time. Once you get to this point, it’s important… More »


Dater X: On “Transparency Sex” & What’s Different This Time Around

To me, sex is much more than just a biological need. Humanity relies on sex for procreation, but the vast majority of the world also turns to sex for pleasure and release. Some people have sex simply to fulfill their physical needs, others see it as a sacred act that should only be shared between… More »


Dating Don’ts: Are You Keeping A Relationship On The Backburner?

We all have that one person who lingers. You know, that person you dated for a little while, but never really cut ties with. Maybe you periodically check in with them, just to see how they’re doing, or keep an eye on their Facebook relationship status to see if they’re still available. Maybe they’re the… More »


6 Questions Women Who Date Older Men Are Sick Of Hearing

Since my dating history only began after college, I never believed I had a specific physical type. I met a guy in high school that remained my boyfriend throughout most of college, which means my dating history didn’t start until I will well into my twenties. After a slew of brief flings and a first… More »


Dater XY: How Long Will This Sexual Hangover Last?

Last Wednesday, The Chewer called to ask if I’d like to go on another date this weekend. I had been leaning against the “post-sex guilt” date but decided a short walk around the park and coffee wouldn’t kill me on a nice fall day.

As we walked around… More »


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