Tag Archives: dating story

Girl Talk: I’m Being Brutally Honest In My Online Dating Profile

I Found A BF Online
love photo
How Jessica found a boyfriend online dating. Yes, it really happens! Read More »
Your Online Profile
Do's and Don'ts for your online dating profile. Read More »
Online Exaggerations
A few of the silly exaggerations in Amelia's online dating profile. Read More »
Online Faux Pas
Guys, stop doing these things online. Read More »

“I’m an empty essay, fill me out!” the words beckoned under the Self Summary section of my brand new, totally blank OkCupid profile.

Armed with a Diet Coke and a new resolve, I was actually signing up for online dating, something I hadn’t done in three years. And not because I was in a relationship during that time, but because for the most part I wasn’t dating, first by default and later having decided to take a deliberate break.

After a long dating hiatus, when January rolled around this year I finally felt like I was ready to dive back into the dating pool. My first thought when contemplating dating was, God, please don’t make me online date again! because in the past I’d tried JDate, eHarmony, Chemistry, Match, and Nerve, all to great disappointment and sometimes even despair. My experience with online dating thus far had been that the guys I liked didn’t like me back, and the guys who did like me made me want to flee the state and join the Dating Protection Program. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Consent Isn’t As Simple As “No Means No”

Guy Talk: Sex
no sex
Men don't want to have sex all the time. Read More »
Straight Guy, Trans Rights
Dan on why a straight guy like him cares about transgender rights. Read More »
Guy Talk: Friendzone
What guys need to know about the friendzone. Read More »

Back in my 20s, I used to party quite a bit, sometimes to ridiculous excess. Drunkenness was rampant, and so were the accompanying shenanigans.

Once, a large group of us took a limo bus downtown for a coworker’s birthday. On the bus was a girl I recognized from work, but had never met. We ended up chatting sporadically throughout the night. But since we were constantly moving around, our exchanges never lasted more than a few minutes at a time.

By the end of the night, she and I were probably the only two people still coherent enough to carry on a conversation. Back at the birthday girl’s apartment, everyone else having either passed out or stumbled home, we found ourselves sitting next to each other on the couch.

There had been a tiny sliver of flirtation between us, but mostly, it had just been idle chatter up to that point. To be honest, I hadn’t noticed any indication that she was the least bit interested in me. Then again, I hadn’t telegraphed any interest in her, either. But that was because I hadn’t been interested in her. Not until that moment, anyway. Keep reading »

Accused Rapist Meets Women On Christian Dating Site

sean patrick banks

Look, I’m not the world’s most observant Christian. But even I attended enough Sunday school to know that God would totally have said “Thou shalt not rape” had there been room on those tablets for an 11th commandment.

Which is why I feel confident saying that Sean Patrick Banks, 37, of Del Mar, California, who is accused of raping a woman he met on the Christian dating site Christian Mingle, is crappy Christian.  Keep reading »

Anti-Rape Panties
We're loving how activists spoofed Victoria's Secret with these panties. Read More »
I Was Raped
An account of sexual assault at Amherst College. Read More »
Date Rape PSA
date rape poster
This date rape PSA has been accused of blaming the victim. Read More »

Dating Don’ts: Let’s Talk About Commitment

Dating Don'ts: VDay
Valentine's Day is not an excuse! Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Rituals
Pre-date rituals that can go terribly wrong. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Disclosure
dating donts divorce
What are you obligated to disclose on your online dating profile? Read More »

It’s come to my attention that we need to talk about commitment and what it means. When my ex and I broke up, one of his main concerns was commitment. Namely, he didn’t want to make one because he was too afraid to break it. He felt like he would be “holding me back” or “making promises he had no idea if he could keep.” The kind of commitment I was envisioning was the commitment to continue to get to know each other and see where things went, not the commitment to get married and start making babies. I never even mentioned that, but in his head, I that’s what I was asking for. He was divorced, so I understand that this notion of commitment took on a certain complexity for him.But here’s the thing: what he was saying was hardly original. I’ve heard a variation on this theme from so many men I’ve dated. Divorced or not. In talking to my friends, I understand that I am not alone. Most women — and some men — I know have heard it too. Keep reading »

Debate This: Would You Let Your Therapist Set You Up?

Therapy Boundaries
How much should you know about your psychologist's personal life? Read More »
Matchmaking Tips
How to set up your friends. Read More »

In this weekend’s New York Times, clinical psychiatrist Richard A. Friedman grapples with the question: should therapists play matchmaker for their patients? The answer he arrives at is no: “Looking to your therapist to set up a date is as ill-advised as it is to look to Match.com for help with depression or an eating disorder.”

Friedman admits to be tempted to fix patients up but ultimately decided against it because it “would involve crossing useful boundaries. And would bring my personal life in conflict with my job as therapist, which, among other things, is to help patients understand themselves and discover how to make their own lives as full and rich as possible.” Keep reading »

Courtship Isn’t Dead, It’s Just Taking A Nap

GT:Enjoying Love
How one woman started enjoying her love life again. Read More »
Dating Reboot
Here are some ways to reboot your love life immediately. Read More »
Social Media & Breakups
How to survive social media, post-breakup. Read More »

According this recent New York Times Style section article, the end of courtship is nigh. It’s dead. Gone. Buried. Mourned. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We are now living in a post-courtship dating world where  instead of the traditional dinner-and-a-movie, you get a “last-minute text to tag along.” The article posits that these “texts, Facebook posts, instant messages and other ‘non-dates’ [are] leaving a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend.”

Writer Alex Williams interviews an assortment daters and experts and cobbles together various hypothesis as to why “traditional courtship” is biting the dust, especially for millennials: “Asynchronous communication” (classified as text, e-mail, IM and Twitter) absolving one of the need to be charming; hookup culture and the confusion about intimacy which it has spurned; online dating and the accompanying FOMO (fear of missing out); Facebook as a replacement for all the things one would normally learn about a person on a first date; the “mancession” and “the end of men”; confusion about gender roles. Etcetera. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On The Long Distance Relationship That Wasn’t

Doing An LDR?
Here are 7 tips you need to read! Read More »
Part-Time Boyfriend
Sophie has a part-time boyfriend because he travels during the week. Read More »
Our LDR Worked
We made an LDR work from Australia to Connecticut. Read More »

The last man I really cared for made me fee like dating is panning for gold. You just sift through the rocks and dirt and, then, if you’re lucky, you find a little sparkly piece of gold. And you feel special, because you found it.

My sparkly little piece of gold was smart and compassionate and handsome and funny and feminist and sexually dominant. He was an absurd combination of all the qualities I’m looking for, the rare qualities I’m looking for.  He spoke two of the same languages as me — my spirit and my body — and the all-too-rare way that made me feel this person might understand me. Not too many men identify themselves on online dating web sites as feminists; even fewer are feminist and sexually dominant.

He also lived thousands and thousands of miles away on the West Coast. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: The Case Against Cyberstalking Your Ex’s New Love

Facebook Stalker?
5 signs that you're a Facebook stalker. Read More »
Snooping Vs. Stalking
What's the difference between online snooping and stalking? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Facebook
You should never post these things on his Facebook page. NEVER. Read More »

While reading Katie J.M. Baker’s recent Jezebel piece, “A Tale of Mutual Cyberstalking,” I found myself on board with everything she was saying. I was practically fist pumping by the end of her story. A testament to the quality of her writing. But at the same time, I don’t agree with her. It’s not normal to obsessively cyberstalk — either your ex or your ex’s new partner –which is what her piece is about. She writes:

“I was immediately hooked. At first, my stalking was synonymous with shit-talking her to my friends; I was the one who broke up with my ex, but I wasn’t over our relationship, and I was hurt that he was falling in love with someone else so quickly. As time passed and I moved on myself, I stopped criticizing her but continued to keep tabs on her life. My obsession with Googling her and monitoring her various social media feeds felt almost compulsive; I didn’t know why I was doing it anymore, or what I was getting out of the experience exactly, only that I didn’t want to stop.”  Keep reading »

The Pros And Cons Of Dating An Englishman

Why Accents Rock
There must be a reason an accent is so attractive! Read More »
Cohabitation Tips
How to survive moving in together. Read More »
On Foreign Pen Pals
Does every single woman need a hot one? Read More »

It happened twenty months ago. But who’s counting? Well, I’m counting. Twenty months ago I met my boyfriend, James. James is English, and he was working in New York where I lived at the time, and we met. And pardon the crappy metaphor, but sparks flew: They did. They flew. And impossibly and ridiculously, we committed on that first non-date of a date to an international, monogamous relationship. We did long-distance for a year and a half, and two months ago I moved from New York to London to be with him.

So first off, pip pip and cherrio from London, and all that. Second off, I’d like to address all that is horrible and wonderful about, not just cohabitation (or “cohabi-tay-shh” as I am wont to call it), but specifically, cohabitation with an Englishman. Because what you picture – at least what I pictured – is mornings spent cuddled in bed as a light rain falls against your windowpane. A light rain that will clear, of course, as you peruse the eminent Guardian Newspaper together. You will stroll arm in arm down scenic and historic streets, sipping tea, eating scones. A pint at the pub before dinner. National healthcare. The BBC on local stations. Shakespeare done with real English accents.

But, oh, my Yankee friends, it is not so. It does not go like that. As I alluded to before, it isn’t all bad. It’s just that, neither is it idyllic. It isn’t, as the saying goes, “All good.”   Keep reading »

15 Shameful Post-Breakup Confessions

Dating Don'ts: Breakups
These kinds of breakups suck the very most. Read More »
Self Conversations
The conversations Ami has with herself. Read More »
Just Been Dumped?
10 things not to say to a recently shafted woman. Read More »

I just admitted to the ladies here that my way of dealing with my recent breakup is to have out loud, imaginary conversations with him. Not like angry conversations, just very casual conversations. Example:

Me: Did you see the latest episode of “Kitchen Nightmares”? It’s ridiculous.

SILENCE

Me: Yeah, I knew you’d enjoy it. Do you know Gordon Ramsay has a new show called “Hotel Hell”? I don’t know how I missed it. It’s soooo bad. You should check it out on Hulu … I went to yoga today.

SILENCE

Keep reading »

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