It’s been a few years since I’ve seen a therapist, but with the new year comes new self-discovery. Just last week, I bit my ring fingernail down to a three-centimeter stub and decided it would probably be in my best interest (and my fingernails’ best interest) to tackle some of the anxiety I’ve been having head-on. I was ready, yet again, to have my head shrunk. Keep reading »
I’m convinced that 2015 is going to be a year of learning for me. We’re only a few weeks into the new year, and I like to think I’ve already discovered quite a few things about myself, big and small, both in life and in love. But it wasn’t until I got together with my friend Bree for drinks and we got to talking about relationships that I realized that in all of my years of failures and successes, awkward dates and silly mishaps, and love and loss, that I have maintained one constant through it all: I always, ALWAYS choose to love. Keep reading »
In my last post, I shared with you a comprehensive list of guys I’ve dated, slept with, or come in contact with over the last year, and the lessons I learned from each. Some of them were men I’d met only once or twice, and others were guys who I actually had feelings for, but looking at that list — I mean REALLY taking a hard look at the amount of men who entered my life in 2014 — is upsetting to me. On one hand, I tell myself that I put myself out there, continued to get back on the horse when love didn’t go my way and that I faced the dating world with resilience. On the other hand, I look at that list and wonder why not even one guy stuck around. Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that, in the new year, I need to be more secure with me. I need to feel confident in my decisions and know that mistakes, successes and failures are all my own. Keep reading »
When I tried to recall all the men who’ve come and gone in my love life over the last year, I wasn’t surprised to find myself staring at a list of names and anxiously tapping my pen, knowing there were a couple I’d forgotten. 2014 was most certainly The Year Of The Dudes. With almost one man for every month of the year, despite the fact that some relationships (and I use that term loosely) lasted longer than others, there was no shortage of testosterone in my dating life — or bed — in 2014. It’s not always easy to look back and reflect on failure, but I’m choosing to see those “failures” as learning opportunities, and one-by-one, share with you what I’ve taken away from each man. Keep reading »
Earlier this week, a friend of mine sent me an article by Mark Manson titled “Fuck Yes or No,” with a simple directive: “Read this.” Since it had the word ‘fuck’ in it, I was obviously sold, considering the F-bomb has been my favorite word since I was old enough to pronounce consonants.
The piece describes the all-too-common “grey area” of dating, where “feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than the other.” We’ve all been there (and I can admit when I’m guilty). But according to Manson, if you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost. To help assure you that you’re entering into an equally beneficial and enthusiastic partnership, Manson says you should apply “The Law Of Fuck Yes Or No” (TLOFYON) to each and every romantic situation. Keep reading »
“Be prepared for a breakup about three weeks from now.” That was the relationship advice I got from a girl in her second year of my boyfriend’s graduate program, just before he started the first semester of his MFA in creative writing.
She had reason to be cynical: grad school means a convoluted class schedule, loads of coursework, very little money, and a whole new social circle of other grad students–and none of those things are awesome for an existing relationship. During her first semester, there had been a rash of breakups as everyone adjusted to the demands of the program.
But going for an MFA is about more than poverty and being swamped with work (although at their busiest times, grad students might not agree!). At its best, graduate school means having the support to delve into your passions—and when my boyfriend was able to delve into his academic passions, that brought a new sparkle to our relationship as well. Keep reading »