Tag Archives: dating story

What I’ve Learned About Size And Body Image By Dating A Fat Man

What I’ve Learned About Size And Body Image By Dating A Fat Man

I thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. But during the three years we’ve been together, he’s taught me a lot about size, fatness and self-care. How? By being fat and unapologetic.

My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things I appreciated right away is that he didn’t hesitate to call himself “fat.” Why would he? For him it’s a description, not an epithet. That alone was startling to me, having dated my share of men and women who were far from accepting of their bodies. Keep reading »

Dater X: 10 Red Flags & Warning Signs That I Look For When I’m Dating

Dater X: 10 Red Flags And Warning Signs That I Look For When I'm Dating

Every new relationship comes with its own bag of possibilities and pitfalls. We approach new romance hopefully, keeping our eyes peeled for warning signs and red flags that might tip us off about a character flaw or mismatch, and determine an outcome accordingly. But everybody’s past is different, and depending on what you want and need from a relationship, what might be a red flag to one person might not be a red flag to others.

I’ve noticed a recurring theme in the comments on Dater X about what may or may not be red flags in my dating adventures. One commenter wrote “Dater X seems to have a huge problem reading between the lines,” while another said, “It’s becoming pretty clear that something is off in her dating choices.” Do I? Is it? Yeah, I’m going to disagree with you there. I know exactly what I’m looking for and what to be worried about. What I’m not doing is making snap judgments about someone’s character or our potential compatibility based on one thing that’s said or done. What I might see as a no-harm difference in personalities might make you say run as fast as you fucking can. So what exactly are the warning signs that I look for in a new partner? Allow me to explain… Keep reading »

Dater X: Pumping The Brakes

Dater X: Pumping The Brakes

It’s no secret I’ve been hurt in the past. Patrick Bateman broke my heart and left me with some serious trust issues and therapy bills to show for it, which is why it’s imperative I end up with someone who’s open and honest about his intentions and feelings. Last week, Baby Face proved to me that he can be that person, even though what he was telling me wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. Keep reading »

Dater X: Finding The Love My Mother Lost

Dater X: Finding The Love My Mother Lost

I’ve been writing Dater X for almost a year now, and can honestly say that putting everything out there about my love life hasn’t been easy. Writing this column is therapeutic in a way, because it allows me to reflect on my relationships, both good and bad, and figure out how to move forward with more insight, intuition and confidence. But with that somewhat comforting self-analysis also comes a lot of pressure. I write my story because I want to, but I’m also making myself vulnerable by writing about real people, real feelings and real struggles. Some weeks I blog freely, not giving a fuck what kind of criticism will come my way, and other weeks, I worry about being judged, disrespected, and oftentimes, having my identity uncovered. I’m never certain how I’ll feel at the end of the day, especially on days when I write Dater X, but I know why I do it. I do it because I don’t want to end up like my mom. I’ll share her story with you to give you more insight into why I do what I do—from writing this blog to dating tirelessly and relentlessly for the last several years. It’s hardly a sob story, but it’s one that’s shaped me into who I am. Keep reading »

Dater XY: How To Deal With Dating Fatigue

Dater XY: How To Deal With Dating Fatigue

Dating. It’s a hard knock life.

You start out excited about the possibilities and hit the ground running. This excitement eventually fades to fatigue as you continue to go out with new individuals with the same result, time after time. Once you get to this point, it’s important to take a timeout and rejuvenate. If you don’t, you’ll end up either A) going out with someone you know you’re not compatible with or B) meet someone who’s a great match, but be unwilling to put in the effort to make a relationship work.

This is where I am at right now. I’m tired of having the same conversations about likes/dislikes. I’m tired of not seeing some of my friends as much as I’d like to (my fault there and no one else’s). Tired of attempting to come up with unique date ideas. Hell, I’m tired of spending money. This is not a good place to be in while dating. Keep reading »

Dater X: On “Transparency Sex” & What’s Different This Time Around

Dater X: On "Transparency Sex" & What's Different This Time Around

To me, sex is much more than just a biological need. Humanity relies on sex for procreation, but the vast majority of the world also turns to sex for pleasure and release. Some people have sex simply to fulfill their physical needs, others see it as a sacred act that should only be shared between people who love each other, and some, like myself, think sex can mean different things with different people in different situations. Sometimes, it doesn’t really even “mean” anything— it’s just … had. I’ve had great sex many times in my life, with no experience feeling or meaning the same. So what exactly makes my idea of “amazing, mind-blowing” sex so amazing and mind-blowing? There’s much more to it than simply getting off. And with Baby Face, that’s been the case. Keep reading »

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