There are a lot of great ways to get to know somebody, but none are as efficient and satisfying as going out to eat with a person. I’m someone who takes food very seriously — cooking for people I care about is truly one of my favorite things to do, and as someone who eschews the traditional “did he call after a day or two days and what does it all mean?” school of thought when it comes to dating, I use other barometers to measure relationship success. Keep reading »
I wasn’t entirely honest with the last person I dated. Our relationship, when it started, was a new, quivery thing, something that I had to ease myself into after a prolonged breakup. I was working through lingering feelings for my ex, along with the attendant baggage. The new boyfriend wanted complete and total honesty, which I wasn’t able to give to him. I understand and appreciate the desire to be totally honest when it relates to the new, romantic entanglement right in front of you. This is natural, this is normal, this is fine. Keep reading »
Let me set the scene for you. One day you’re at the grocery store, dutifully squeezing all the avocados until you find the ripest ones, then moving them to your basket. You have your headphones in, you’re concentrating very intently on the task at hand, and you’re really not thinking about anything other than the guacamole you’re going to consume while watching “True Detective.” As you continue your thorough work of squeezing and replacing the avocados, your hand touches something warm, something tangible, something human — the calloused, strong hand of your dream man, a tall man-bun sporting, flannel wearing carpenter, a Ryan Gosling in “The Notebook” meets Jared Leto’s hair with a dash of McConaughey’s Foghorn Leghorn swagger. [Dream man. -- Amelia] You drop his hand, you gasp, he smiles. Numbers are exchanged. Drinks are had. You share this improbably cute story with everyone you meet, and are greeted with a variety of emotions ranging from derision to laughter to misty-eyed joy. You marry under a canopy of Etsy-sourced mason jar tea light holders and gingham and drive off in an old convertible, the “Just Married” sign bouncing against the bumper. That’s your life under the spell of the meet-cute. Keep reading »
Breakups suck, whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. No matter which end of the fray you’re on, there follows a mourning period, a delicate time in which you probably lash out at friends, obsess over details of the way things ended, and make ill-advised decisions about ice cream for dinner and browsing on Tinder. It’s impossible to make generalizations about how long a breakup takes to process, because every single relationship and situation is its own special snowflake. I can’t tell you what it feels like to be a part of your breakup, because only you were there to experience it. The adage about using an equation involving the amount of time you were together as the “x” factor for how long you should be upset after it ends is stupid, plain and simple. That being said, here are some rough guidelines on acceptable mourning times, from someone who has been through her fair share of breakups. But feel free to ignore them if you feel like wallowing for an extra month or six. Keep reading »
No one really likes first dates because they are the most stilted of all human interactions, second only to that thing that happens when you’re trying to pass someone on the street, and you keep feinting the same way. As a result of this intense and horrible discomfort, people try to avoid dating at all costs, citing excuses from “washing their hair” to “rearranging all their books by color and alphabet.” It’s even harder to be encouraged to participate in these sorts of activities, because if you’re out of practice, a first date seems like the worst possible thing in the entire world. It’s a whole thing. What do you wear? How do you act? What on earth do you talk about or do? How do you handle the stranger sitting across from you? Common sense gets replaced by sheer panic and feet get firmly planted in mouths. And worst of all, what happens if you really seem to like the person, but are just so out of practice that you bungle the thing? Oh, the things you might say! As a person who abhors the notion of first dates, I’ve figured out four relatively solid tips for those out there who fear them just as much as I do. Keep reading »
College Humor recently launched a video titled “Tinderella,” an animated fairytale parody depicting Cinderella if she and her prince met on Tinder. The video ends with the two hooking up and never speaking again. Honestly, I envy anyone who made it to the fleshy phase using the dating app. You are stronger than me.
I’d been single for 32 years, the same amount of time I’d been alive, when I joined Tinder. Unrequited love was all I knew of romance. So, I was determined to learn how to online date. Friends told me it was silly to use the app to find a relationship because it was intended for impromptu coitus. I argued that people use online dating sites to find life partners AND to fulfill their foot fetishes. It’s all what you make of it — plus, I liked having the power of the swipe. Sadly, I didn’t last long on this courtship gizmo. The profile pics alone were more than I could handle. Here’s a brief review of the many photos that made me swipe left: Keep reading »