I’m going to come right out and cop to this—I have been dumped more times than I can count. You’d think that after the 5,234th time, I’d be a tad more resilient, but nah. I have mourned certain dead relationships for longer than they went on in the first place and made an idiot of myself over men so patently unworthy, it’s a wonder I haven’t had my feminist card revoked. Lucky for everyone within sobbing distance, I haven’t been dumped in a while, but as a public service I figured I’d share my mistakes so you can learn from them, after the jump… Keep reading »
Have you ever just not been in the mood to go out on yet another first date, but force yourself to do it anyway? You talk yourself into it, reasoning, “What if he’s the one and instead of meeting him, I stayed home to eat cereal out of the box and watch ‘Gossip Girl’?” So, being a trooper, you slap on some lipstick and head out. And then nine times out of ten, the whole evening turns out to be an exercise in humiliation and/or futility and you come home more miserable than you were beforehand.
That’s because while it can be fun, dating can also be brutal. To be at all successful you have to be at the top of your game. Do you think Serena Williams sits around drinking milkshakes and watching reality TV the week before Wimbledon? No. She trains, stretches, meditates and makes certain her cutest tennis whites are clean. Keep reading »
Everybody has a “type.” Personally, I like a man with a big schnozz — bonus points if he’s got a collection of acne scars a lá Tommy Lee Jones. My pal Annie likes preppy men — but only after they’ve gone to seed and become a little bloated in the process. Suzanne has a weakness for thin Japanese guys who like indie rock music, while Maddy adores bike messengers of all shapes and sizes.
But there are certain types of guys who should be nobody‘s type. These guys are distinguished by one thing — an overabundance of one or more very bad qualities. Your guide to boys to avoid, after the jump… Keep reading »
Back when our moms were on the market, they could tell right off the bat if the foxy soda jerk was unavailable because back then married men never went anywhere without their rings. Not that a band of gold would necessarily keep a cad from straying (see also, Mad Men’s Don Draper), but at least a lady could make an informed decision about whether or not she wanted to wander into “other woman” territory.
Nowadays, it’s not so easy to tell who’s taken. Lots of married men don’t bother with rings and loads more just live with their significant others in a slightly more informal (though generally no less committed) cohabitation situation. I’ll spare you the moralizing, but I’m here to tell you that being someone’s girl on the side is a sucker’s game. Keep reading »
Your Birthday: it’s the one day a year you are guaranteed to have someone trying to do you. Even when you’re single, you can line a little somethin’ somethin’ up. But sometimes another candle on your cake is the only thing you can count on.
I had been dating this dude for what I considered a fab four months. The sex was so hot from the start, we never spent more than a night apart. Plus, he had a great record collection (housed in adult furniture), the most lovable dog on the planet, and the cutest butt. I liked him almost as much as I like bacon. Keep reading »