Tag Archives: dating donts

Dating Don’ts: 5 Scenarios In Which It Is Totally Okay To Ghost

Dating Don'ts: 5 Scenarios In Which It Is Totally Okay To Ghost
Dating Don'ts: Ghosting
Thou shalt not ghost your love interests. Read More »

My best friend went on a date with a man who seemed fine at first — they sat at a neighborhood bar and talked for hours. They went on a second date, but this time, the dude tried every trick in the book to get her to come to his place and have sex. She refused his offer, and tried to leave it be, but three days later, when she was visiting me from out of town, she showed me the text he sent, asking her in a very straightforward manner whether or not she was interested, or if her lack of communication was the hint that he needed.

“You have two options here,” I told her. “Write back with a one word answer, or just don’t respond.”

“I have to say something,” she said. “I can’t just ignore this.”

“Just ghost on him, dude,” I told her. “It’s easy.”

When is it appropriate to ghost? Some may say never, that each person deserves the courtesy of hearing directly that you’re not interested in them, but please, take a moment to think about how many times you’ve been ghosted, specifically how sometimes it was fine and sometimes it wasn’t. It goes both ways. Here are some common dating situations in which it’s perfectly fine to ghost. Keep reading »

Dater X: Three Strikes, You’re Out

Dater X: Three Strikes, You're Out

Last week, I went on my first date with Jack, the young publicist I met through work. And after I tell you all what occurred on that date, I’m confident you will understand why my first date with Jack was also our last.

After taking the initiative to ask Jack out, I figured I’d let him take the reins and plan our first date. We agreed to get together after work and didn’t have a game plan, so we decided to just play it by ear. He met me by the steps of the New York City Public Library and was as cute as I remembered, but slightly younger looking (which was probably just my subconscious reminding me that I was a cradle robber). He suggested we go grab some coffee and then maybe a bite to eat afterwards, depending on how we felt. On our walk to get caffeinated, he said, “I’m glad you asked me out. I like seeing a proactive woman who isn’t afraid to make the first move.”  We were off to a great start. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 5 Possible Outcomes Of Defining The Relationship

Dating Don'ts: 5 Possible Outcomes Of Defining The Relationship

Nobody handles The Talk very well. Usually, it’s a stilted affair, capable of rendering even the most confidently grown to their pre-teen self, stuttering and drawing circles in the condensation left by their wineglass, assiduously avoiding eye contact. Defining the relationship, or DTR, if you’re of the ilk that favors cutesy acronyms, is a necessary evil, but something that not a single soul is very good at. The nature of modern dating is such that the traditional markers of what make a relationship real change every day and it can seem like there’s a decided lack of stability. It’s not as easy as getting someone’s letterman jacket and walking down Main Street to the soda fountain anymore. The way we date now easily lends itself to shirking real commitment. First dates in the traditional sense are replaced by weird group outings in which you attempt to get to know someone you made goopy eyes with at a bar while surrounded by a buffer three people deep, including his friends from college and that dude at work, Josh. It’s a honest miracle that anyone even makes it to The Talk, because the obstacle course that stands between you and a relationship is harrowing.

The fun doesn’t end once you’ve actually sat down and faced the person of your intent, with all your emotions out on the table. The kind of relationship you can neatly explain to your mom in a hastily composed text message is a thing of the past. It makes sense that the end result of a nebulous and frankly, confusing wooing process, is also difficult to pin down. With that in mind, here are some possible results of the dreaded Talk. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: On Not Losing Yourself In Your Relationship

Dating Don’ts: On Not Losing Yourself In Your Relationship

The other day, my friend and I got into a discussion about whether or not it was appropriate to use a picture of her and her boyfriend as the lock screen on her phone.

“It’s a cute picture, but I feel weird,” she told me. “I don’t know if I should keep it up.”

“Do whatever you want,” I said. “I personally have never done that, but hey, what do I know?”

She thought about it for a while, and then chatted me an hour later. “I took it down. It felt creepy.” Keep reading »

Dater X: We’ve Got A Stage-Five Clinger, Folks

Dater X: We've Got A Stage-Five Clinger, Folks

Like everybody else in America, I decided to jump on the World Cup bandwagon last week and headed to a bar after work to catch a game with friends. When one of my girlfriends showed up with a few of her co-workers, I noticed  that I’d caught the eye of one of her colleagues. Well over six feet tall, he was muscular, well-dressed and had a nice smile, but I wouldn’t say I was necessarily attracted to him. After very obviously staring at me and not at the TV for the next 30 minutes, Ken headed my way and started making small talk. He seemed funny, nice and attentive, so when he gave me his number at the end of the game, I intended on shooting him a text the next day, and maybe even going out on a date with him if things continued to go well. Spoiler: they did not. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Is It Really So Bad To Photoshop Your Online Dating Profile Pic?

Dating Don'ts: Is It Really So Bad To Photoshop Your Online Dating Profile Pic?
Honest Dating Profile
honesty on ok cupid
This is what happens when you make an honest OK Cupid profile. Read More »

I got into an debate with my friend the other day about a topic that I never thought I’d have to discuss — photoshopping your online dating profile picture. She’s a recent adopter of OKCupid, and is what I would consider a power user, actively pursuing suitors, sending messages and going on countless dates, that swing wildly between enthralling and depressing.

“You know,” she told me one day over Gchat, “I Photoshop my profile picture.” She seemed unfazed by this admission, and took my shock and awe in stride.

“Isn’t that … dishonest? Isn’t that defeating the point?!” I asked.

“Eh … not really,” she wrote back. “Isn’t everybody lying, anyway?” Keep reading »

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