Tag Archives: dating donts

Dating Don’ts: 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Turn Down A Second Date (Even If The First One Kind Of Sucked)

Dating Don'ts: Bad Advice
The most unhelpful dating advice Ami ever received. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Money
These bad money habits are bad news. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Canceling
Don't cancel plans this way. Read More »

I was just talking to a friend about her new, amazing, best-sex-ever relationship. She said her first date with her now girlfriend was awful. They had nothing to talk about and it was awkward as hell.

“Why did you go out again?” I asked.

“We had already planned a second date before the first. It was a fluke,” she explained.

Now my friend is having the best sex of her life, something she wouldn’t have had if she hadn’t given this woman a second chance.

When I first moved to New York City, I dated pretty heavily. Wait. Heavily is the wrong word — that implies getting in deep, right? I dated many different guys. But I only went out with one of them more than once.

How is that even possible? Looking back, I see that since I only went out with them once, they were fundamentally the same exact guy — First Date Guy. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 7 Of The Most Unhelpful Pieces Of Dating Advice I Ever Received

Dating Don'ts: Canceling
Don't cancel plans this way. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Exclusivity
How not to approach exclusivity. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Morning
Don't screw everything up the morning after. Read More »

I’ve only been off the market for two months and already, the dating world is like a bad, distant memory I want to put in a shoe box and hide under my bed.

I have to ask myself, Am I being melodramatic? Was it really that bad? When I distill it down, there was really one thing that made dating unbearable: other people’s advice.

Because dating can be overwhelming, confusing and wrought with powerful emotions, our instinct is often to seek counsel outside of ourselves. But trying to apply other people’s advice, even advice given by professionals, to our dating lives, which are extremely personal, is like walking around in a pair of shoes that don’t fit. You’re going to get blisters. The best thing anyone could have told me to do was figure out what was best for me and do that. If only I had been following my own gut, I might have had a better time dating.

Below are some of the most unhelpful pieces of dating advice I’ve ever received … Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How Not To Cancel Plans

Dating Don'ts: Money
These bad money habits are bad news. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Love
There are certain times when "I love you" doesn't count. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Injury
If you're not fit to date, get off the playing field. Read More »

One time, a guy I had been dating for more than a month canceled our Saturday night date, calling an hour before we were supposed to meet, telling me that he was “itching all over.” I’m putting that phrase in quotes because that is exactly what he said. I couldn’t have made it up if I tried. I followed this up with the normal questions a person would ask:

Did you see the doctor?

Are you running a fever?

Are you having an allergic reaction to something? Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 8 Money Habits You Shouldn’t Be Cool With

Dating Don'ts: Love
There are certain times when "I love you" doesn't count. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Injury
If you're not fit to date, get off the playing field. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Exclusivity
How not to approach exclusivity. Read More »

The Beatles had it right when they crooned “Money can’t buy me love.” For sure. It’s impossible to put a price tag on the important things in relationships. BUT … if  opening his wallet to buy you a drink throws your date into an existential crisis, there’s a problem.

Now that I’m and “adult” and living on my own, I’m forced to come to grips with what it takes to be financially responsible for myself. Meaning, I prioritize my car payment and rent over the many cute new outfits that I would like to buy. And to be honest, I’m finding that it isn’t such a difficult concept to grasp. So what is it, then, with the guys I end up dating? Every man I’ve been out with lately has a dysfunctional relationship with his wallet: cheapskates, millionaires, and the down-and-out and broke. It’s getting to be annoying. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 7 Times When “I Love You” Doesn’t Count

Dating Don'ts: Injury
If you're not fit to date, get off the playing field. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Exclusivity
How not to approach exclusivity. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Girlproof!
Girlproofing your apartment is very important. Read More »

The phrase “I love you” — despite endless debates about who should say it first and how often it should be said — only holds as much significance as the person saying it assigns to the phrase. Yes, say it if you feel like it and not because you expect to hear it in return. We’d never begrudge anyone the wonderfulness of falling in love and screaming it from the mountaintops. But because so much importance has been placed on such a little phrase, the extra pressure only increases our probability of fucking it up. We’ve all said “I love you” at the wrong times, for the wrong reasons and wished for a do-over. Oh, the potential that phrase has to make things so, so awkward, especially in a new relationship. Don’t beat yourself up. Accidental “I love yous” happen all the time. Don’t let three little words blurted out at an inopportune moment ruin the good thing you have going on. After the jump, seven instances when “I love you” doesn’t count … unless you want it to.
Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: If You’re Injured, Get Off The Field

Dating Don'ts: Exclusivity
How not to approach exclusivity. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Girlproof!
Girlproofing your apartment is very important. Read More »

Disclaimer: I am not a sports person, so please pardon my fumbling attempt at sports metaphors but … if you are injured, get off the playing field. I am not actually talking about sports, obviously, although I think it might be football season because all my guy friends have disappeared. But this is a dating column. So … the sport of DATING! It’s brutal! This weekend, one of my best friends got dumped, out-of-the-blue, by a girl she had been dating rather seriously for a couple of months. Of course, I was pissed because she’s my friend and how dare anyone dump her because she’s fabulous. But I was specifically pissed about why she was dumped.

The reason for this unexpected dumping was because “things were headed in a serious direction” and the woman she was dating “couldn’t handle anything serious right now.” BIGGEST EYE ROLL EVER. Keep reading »

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