You know how experts claim that most couples fight over sex or money? Not in my tiny apartment, which I share with a 6’5” dude and two cats. What we fight over is décor.
If he were in charge of our home, everything would be bright, white, and utilitarian. There’d be no blood-red living room, featuring Ganesh and Jesus duking it out for wall space. No piles of books and no throw pillows (he especially hates the latter).
But because real estate in New York is insane and my apartment is cheap, my man moved into mine, which (I believe) negates his right to complain because he knew what he was getting into. He would disagree, but I already told you this was our biggest bone of contention. Keep reading »
Common knowledge of the dating variety dictates that unless you’re looking for heartache, you should stay away from musicians and bartenders.* While, yes, within every stereotype there is a grain of truth, I don’t think it’s fair to paint all these guys with the same bourbon-soaked brush. I know many perfectly sweet guitarists and gin-slingers who’d sooner commit themselves to a cubicle farm than cheat on their girlfriends.
The dudes you truly have to watch out for are the types you’d never guess were players or cads because they appear so straight-up, and seem so normal. For example … Keep reading »
So, look. I’ve decided to write this article about stuff that people do on dates that sucks. Now, I’m a man who dates women, so a lot of these will be irritating things that women do; this doesn’t mean that men don’t also do all the same (or similar) annoying things.
I’ve been single since the Sumerians were settling Eridu (if you believe this psychic in New Orleans who told me my soul has been around — and single — since the sixth millennium B.C.), so yeah, I’ve been on a lot of dates.
I won’t claim I’m an expert, but I know enough to actually be helpful to you lady readers. In the interest of both men and women, I give you the eloquently titled, painstakingly wrought: “Things Women Do On Dates That Suck That I Wish They Wouldn’t Do Anymore.” Keep reading »
First dates are always nerve-wracking—that’s a given. So many questions! Where will we go? What if I’m gassy? Should I let him pay or should I offer to split the tab? What will we talk about? Will he like me? More importantly, will I like him?
All valid queries, but possibly the most pressing question any of us worry about is, what in the hell am I going to wear? Keep reading »
The New Year is a time for taking stock, a time for looking back and learning as well as looking ahead towards a richer future, secure in knowing that the lessons we’ve learned this past year will help us lead a better life in the next.
Obviously, there is no better source for these life lessons than within the annals of celebrity gossip. Celebrities are richer than us, prettier than us, and—with rare exception—skinnier than us. We watch them onscreen and/or listen to their songs—why shouldn’t we learn from their mistakes?
Sadly for them, 2009 was a rough year for famous people in relationships. There were more breakups than there were deaths! But luckily for us, there are valuable nuggets of knowledge contained within almost every celebrity split … Keep reading »
Have you seen that Target commercial where the guy gives his date a beautiful necklace, only to have the woman look kind of uncomfortable and announce that she didn’t think they were quite “there” yet? After a flash of hurt crosses his face, he zings back that he bought it at Target so it was super cheap. I always high-five that guy in my head, but truth is, I’ve been an ungrateful giftee in the past.
However, it’s also the truth that I’ve received a lot of crappy gifts. Some were heartfelt, others were just dumb. So in light of the fact that we’re in primo gift-exchange season, I put together some guidelines for how to handle the gifts you get that really, they shouldn’t have … Keep reading »
Before she met her fiancé, my friend Michelle was the biggest flirt on the Eastern Seaboard. If she spotted a guy she wanted to talk to, she’d walk right up, tilt her head to one side and ask a completely inane question. At bars, the question was inevitably, “What are you drinking? That looks really good!” Within seconds she had a drink in her hand and a pair of puppy dog eyes watching her every move.
It didn’t hurt that she was very pretty, but I couldn’t believe that asking a guy—who was inevitably drinking a beer!—what he was drinking was so effective. I mean, it’s obviously a beer! One night, over a shared bottle of wine, she was explaining the finer points of her technique, when a cute guy walked over and poked his head between us. “What are you drinking?” he asked.
“What does it look like we’re drinking?” I answered snottily. I was trying to listen to my friend—attempting to learn how to talk to men. Couldn’t he see we were busy? Michelle rolled her eyes at me and turned to him with a smile. “It’s a Malbec from Argentina. Want a sip?” Keep reading »
I am a huge fan of online dating. I met my long-term boyfriend on Nerve.com and the majority of the weddings I’ve been to over the past few years have been between people who met online. Though I still have friends who are reluctant to try it (you know who you are!), I encourage every single person looking for love to give it a whirl.
But even I raised an eyebrow last year when I read writer/comedian Carrie Seim’s NY Post story on how she entrusted her love life to a virtual assistant in India. It’s one thing to weed out dudes using their blurry photos and attempts at wit; it’s quite another to have some stranger pick your dates for you. After suffering through too many disastrous fix-ups, I even stopped letting my friends set me up. Keep reading »
Out of all the seven deadly sins, Envy is probably the least attractive (with Gluttony hot on its heels). Lust, Greed, and Pride have practically become virtues in modern times and who’s going to deny a girl a little Wrath when she’s been wronged? Sloth? Well, hey, everybody needs to sleep in once in a while.
To help keep you from falling prey to this most vicious of sins, we’ve assembled some guidelines. Keep reading »
In the classic scary flick “The Exorcist,” when young Regan McNeil’s mom wanted to banish the devil from inside her daughter, she had to call in the God Squad. The result was all sorts of profanity, a generous helping of projectile vomit, and several unpleasant deaths.
Once the devil was cast out, Regan and her mom moved to a new city; after all, who wants to live where the devil once did? Unfortunately, not all of us can afford a change of locale after a traumatic experience, like, say, a breakup. Short of jetting off to Bali and drowning your heartache in fruity cocktails, the quickest way to exorcise someone from your heart is by ridding yourself of all the bad juju—and debris—that a rough breakup can leave in its wake. Keep reading »