There’s nothing worse than a dater with loose lips. While I totally understand the impulse to seek dating advice or share the blow-by-blow of your love life with close friends or family members, I urge you to do so with extreme caution. I strongly feel that dating should be conducted with as much dignity and discretion as one can muster. I know, it’s hard sometimes when FEELINGS are involved. Oh FEELINGS. I have ended up in too many uncomfortable situations because of my own inability to keep my mouth shut. I’ve also had the misfortune of dating a couple of dudes who had no idea how to keep our private business under wraps. So let this be a reminder to them and me and to all of you: Don’t let your FEELINGS overtake your COMMON SENSE. Think before you speak about someone you dated, especially if you have friends or colleagues in common. Not only does it make you look bad to be running your mouth and burning up Facebook and Twitter about your dating escapades, but on the off chance that it gets back to him or her (and it always does), it could really hurt someone’s FEELINGS even more. After the jump, some hard and fast rules for making sure you aren’t undatable because of your big mouth. Keep reading »
The really crappy thing about being ghosted or suddenly dumped or inexplicably ditched by a guy you were dating is that it leaves the door open for him to contact you in the future. In the meantime, you are forced to fill in the blanks about what went wrong and wonder if you’ll ever find out. After more than 15 years on the dating circuit, I am going to share a nugget with you: You will almost always hear from him again, he who made a not-so-graceful exit from your life. And it will be when you least expect it. Keep reading »
I am officially, unofficially implementing a new rule for coupled people everywhere. Please, please, please if you are spoken for, you must mention it within five minutes of having a flirty conversation with me. I am forever meeting men in social situations (I’m sure ladies do this too, so feel free to chime in guys) who will sit and talk to me for 15 minutes, half hour, sometimes even longer, will go so far as to get my number or give me theirs and wait until the very last second that we’re saying good bye to inform me that they are in a relationship or even married. On occasion, these guys have neglected to mention said girlfriend/fianceé/ wife until our first — what I believed to be — date! Come on now, people! Not cool. Keep reading »
Dear guys and gals. Sometimes we get so focused on the night of our date that we forget about the morning after. Don’t do that. Yes, it’s still important to make sure that your date goes well enough to hit a home run, but don’t start celebrating until you’ve successfully crossed home base … waking up next to that person in broad daylight. I think of this moment as the true test of how well the date went. The worst, very worst, thing to feel in that moment is that you’ve made a grave mistake. That the charming, kind and sexy man who wooed and wowed the previous evening no longer exists. In his place is this naked, grunting cretin who makes you feel nothing more than the urge to wash your sheets. After the jump, a few things to keep in mind the morning after. That is, if you hope for a repeat performance. Keep reading »
If there’s any deeper message to be extracted from “Love In The Wild,” which premieres tonight 9/8c on NBC, it’s that you don’t want to get stuck in a snake pit with a crap ass partner. Teamwork is key on the dating competition show, in which single men and women pair off into couples and compete for a trip around the world – finding a partner that can be trusted to be loyal is the best chance they have to at achieving victory in the end (and finding love to boot). The same can be said of long-term relationships in the real world. The nice thing about competing in life-threatening challenges is that a person reveals their true colors right away. These things are not quite as easy to discern at a wine bar as they are when bungee jumping off a mountain. But there are clues that you can pay attention to that will let you know if he’s the kind of guy you’d want to go kayaking through the rain forest with … or endure a weekend at his parents’ together. Equally as dangerous! After the jump, some signs that he won’t be a great partner — “Love in the Wild” contestants, take notes! Keep reading »
Vagina Killer (vah-ji´nah kil′ər) noun: 1. The thing that an otherwise acceptable man can do or say on a date to ensure that he will never get into your pants. Ever.
Vagina killers will stop the mojo of any good date dead in its tracks. For example, say you’re on a date with a perfectly charming, perfectly smart, perfectly handsome, perfectly eligible man. Ah, you think. A normal man at last. A good conversation. A nice dinner. Things are going well! And then he drops the one bomb that will ensure your vagina is closed for business to him for all eternity. Like he tells you that all he needs in his life is his cat; in fact, they are best friends and they do everything together. For a non-allergic cat lover, that might be a vagina awakener, but for me, a very allergic, non-cat loving person: vagina DOA. I’m sorry, Guy — you were in the running before you KILLED MY VAGINA.The point being, vagina killers are very personal and specific, but we all have them. Remember, your goal is to keep that vagina alive so you can meet her in person! After the jump, some more deadly vagina killers to avoid at all costs. Please share yours in the comments.
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You meet online. You have the same favorite book and it’s not The Fountainhead. You exchange emails multiple times a day and bond over your mutual love of cats, Frasier, and pretending you like to spend Sunday in bed with the New York Times crossword puzzle. It’s meant to be! The first date is around the corner. You’re bringing your lucky socks to the laundromat when…oops, you screw it up. They cancel the first date and now you’re dead to them. You spend Saturday night with your cat and a Frasier marathon. You use your Sunday crossword puzzle to line the litter box and spend the morning in bed, hugging your body pillow. Where did you go wrong? You may have made one of the following pre-first-date faux pas… Keep reading »
“You’re really mean to yourself,” my friend said after I’d finished listing all the ways I’d messed up a date with a guy I really liked. What did I do that I found so unacceptable? Here’s the list:
1. I didn’t offer to pay. I always offer to pay, but then I feel resentful because I don’t really want to pay and I want the guy to decline my offer, so I was just trying to experiment with letting myself feel treated. But now he probably thinks I’m using him and just in it for a free meal!
2.I botched the kiss goodnight moment. He went in for the kiss and I kissed him on the cheek, then gushed about what a great time I had to overcompensate for the missed kiss, then jumped out of his car. Because I wanted to kiss him, but I also wanted to take it slow, but I was nervous, and could I have been more horribly awkward?!
3. I talked about an ex. Absolutely unforgivable!!! Why, why, why did I do this??? Keep reading »
His teeny little profile picture was cute. He was the right age range and city. But when I opened the online dating message from this random dude, this is what he said:
Isn’t feminism a little obsolete? Men and women are equal nowadays. In fact, the balance is tipped in your favor.
Of all the things for a man to comment upon in my profile, he chose to kinda-insulted me by calling my belief system “obsolete”? I rolled my eyes. I hit delete. Another one bites the dust.
I’d been “negged.” Keep reading »
Single this Valentine’s Day? Then perhaps you’ll be interested in this advice from an eHarmony senior director. Grant Langston tells Time the five most overused, meaningless phrases you should take off your online dating profile right now. Read more…