dating donts

Love & Sex

Dating is the pits. Most of us will go on a lot of first dates, with only a percentage getting a second or a third, let alone the paltry few with whom we click well enough for months or years of keeping company. We accept that there will be a certain amount of time/money/effort “lost” READ MORE »


Love & Sex

So, your relationship is coming to an end. You woke up one morning, rolled over and looked at the person next to you and felt nothing but anger, resentment, revulsion. You putter through your morning routine and start building the ammunition you need to finally get out of this relationship once and for all. The… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

We all have that one person who lingers. You know, that person you dated for a little while, but never really cut ties with. Maybe you periodically check in with them, just to see how they’re doing, or keep an eye on their Facebook relationship status to see if they’re still available. Maybe they’re the… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Tinder is pretty basic, and at this point, everyone knows the drill. Swipe right if you like what you see, swipe left if you don’t. Message people at your leisure, while spending a lot of time dodging dicey messages from dudes you probably don’t want to talk to. Easy enough, but maybe your Tinder strategy… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Most people have sex in the pedestrian enclaves of their bedroom, on a Wednesday night, after prime-time television but before “The Daily Show.” It’s a simple affair, but it’s beautiful, because it works. The bedroom is a safe space with ALL the creature comforts you want when you’re doing it: clean sheets, water in plentiful… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Working with someone that you’re dating takes a special kind of mental and emotional fortitude, the ability to keep two parts of your life distinct, with clear boundaries. It’s hard in the modern workplace. We spend so much time at work, and workplaces are getting more and more casual, making the boundaries shifting and fluid. READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Consider the open relationship. Maybe you’ve always felt constrained by a traditional relationship, and known that you could happily be with more than one person. Maybe your partner brings it up to you one night over tacos and margaritas, and you’re game. Or, maybe this is just something that you’ve wanted to try, to see… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Gettin’ down with someone new for the first time is exciting and nervewracking. There are so many decisions to make! Lights on or lights off? Do you get on top, or do you just park yourself on the bottom and hope for the best? Will it be evident that it’s been a minute? The thing… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

“Dating Naked” is a show on VH1 in which complete strangers gather at a resort somewhere tropical and mosquito-ridden and go on carefully staged dates with strangers, completely naked. It may sound like a ratings gamble, another entree in the already overrun category of dating shows, but the thing about it is that it’s actually… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Here is a confession — though I write a dating column, and have for quite some time, I’m not currently dating anyone right now. The last relationship I was in was about two years ago, and in the time between then and now, there have been plenty of dates, but nothing has stuck. Dating in… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

First dates inspire a low-level nausea and roiling dread for a variety of reasons. It could be horrible or  it could be amazing. Meeting a stranger at a bar contains a world of untold possibility. Maybe they’ll be your soulmate, someone that makes your heartstrings zing and your loins quiver. Maybe they’ll be the worst… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

We’ve all been there. Someone you were hot and heavy with will suddenly disappear, as if wiped from this earth, only to reappear in the form of a typo-laden text message one night while you’re doing a face mask in your sweatpants. Like that mosquito that you try endlessly to kill before going to sleep,… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is a game in which a normal human being dresses themselves in a variety of hilariously tarted up clothes, changes their hair a lot and pursues fame with the same relentless zeal of The Frisky staff at a J. Crew sample sale. If you’ve been living under a rock, the game is… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

First, a story. A few years ago, I dated a guy I’ll call Jeff. We only saw each other romantically for a grand total of two months, but it was significant because Jeff was the first guy I had dated since the breakup of my engagement where it felt like I finally had let go… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Like conducting a job search, online dating is an exercise in patience, compatibility, and, sometimes, rejection. It’s not romantic, but to a certain degree, the search for a suitable partner is not unlike the job hunt. You use the internet to varying degrees of success, clicking and writing emails and then clicking some more, and… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

There’s a perverse pleasure in keeping tabs on your ex-paramours on social media. Perhaps you monitor their Twitter feed before you to go bed to see if you can gauge whether there was a more salacious reason behind their sudden decision to end things. Maybe after a couple glasses of wine and watching half of… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

My best friend went on a date with a man who seemed fine at first — they sat at a neighborhood bar and talked for hours. They went on a second date, but this time, the dude tried every trick in the book to get her to come to his place and have sex. She… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Last week, I went on my first date with Jack, the young publicist I met through work. And after I tell you all what occurred on that date, I’m confident you will understand why my first date with Jack was also our last.

After taking the initiative to ask Jack out, I figured… READ MORE »


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