So, your relationship is coming to an end. You woke up one morning, rolled over and looked at the person next to you and felt nothing but anger, resentment, revulsion. You putter through your morning routine and start building the ammunition you need to finally get out of this relationship once and for all. The way they chew their cereal, once endearing and sweet, now makes you want to smack the bowl out of their hand. You’ve stopped agreeing on, well, everything and simply get through your time together by nodding in half-hearted agreement, only to see if it will get them to be quiet sooner so you can get back to the book you were reading or the very important text conversation you were having with your friend. You know you want to end things, but you don’t know how.
There’s never a right moment to break up with someone, but there’s always a right way to do it. Here are the best and worst ways to break up with someone. Keep reading »
We all have that one person who lingers. You know, that person you dated for a little while, but never really cut ties with. Maybe you periodically check in with them, just to see how they’re doing, or keep an eye on their Facebook relationship status to see if they’re still available. Maybe they’re the person you’re interested in, but not for the immediate future. Maybe you see yourself with them five years down the line, when you’re ready to settle, and hopefully they feel the same way, too. Maybe you entertain the idea of starting it up again, when you’ve blown through all your Tinder matches and your OKCupid inbox holds nothing but baby MRAs and leering sexual come-ons. This, my friends, is a backburner relationship, described in The Atlantic as “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains a degree of some communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.” It sounds bad, like the worst possible way to keep someone tethered to you without taking action, but really, it’s not the worst thing. Chances are, you’re doing it with someone in your life, and have been for quite some time. Keep reading »
Tinder is pretty basic, and at this point, everyone knows the drill. Swipe right if you like what you see, swipe left if you don’t. Message people at your leisure, while spending a lot of time dodging dicey messages from dudes you probably don’t want to talk to. Easy enough, but maybe your Tinder strategy isn’t really netting the kind of dudes you want. Maybe you’re too picky, swiping left on mostly everybody you see. Maybe you amass matches, collecting them like so many back issues of The New Yorker, recoiling in horror every time one of them messages you. Maybe Tinder paralyzes you with fear, only because you’re just not comfortable with meeting someone through what is basically an app for hand jobs and one night stands. Whatever. We all have our things. But, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Change your game, and maybe Tinder won’t be such a slog. Here are some Tinder strategies you might not be using. Keep reading »
Most people have sex in the pedestrian enclaves of their bedroom, on a Wednesday night, after prime-time television but before “The Daily Show.” It’s a simple affair, but it’s beautiful, because it works. The bedroom is a safe space with ALL the creature comforts you want when you’re doing it: clean sheets, water in plentiful abundance, all the lube you’d ever need, and at the end of everything, a bathroom you can scurry to when the deed is done so you don’t get a bladder or yeast infection. For most, this kind of sexual adventurousness is fine. There are some, however, that comb this earth, armed with a sexual bucket list, intent on doing it in any space two people can feasibly fit. If you find yourself with one of these sexual Lewis and Clarks, be prepared. Arm yourself with this list of places to have sex, ranked from best to worst, and be ready to face whatever challenge they’ve got in mind head on. Keep reading »
Working with someone that you’re dating takes a special kind of mental and emotional fortitude, the ability to keep two parts of your life distinct, with clear boundaries. It’s hard in the modern workplace. We spend so much time at work, and workplaces are getting more and more casual, making the boundaries shifting and fluid. The temptation to let your relationship bleed over into your daily grind is easy, but if you’re a nice, kind person, you should do your absolute best to avoid this. It’s cool that you’ve found someone that you want to spend time with outside of the office as well as in staff meetings and at weird company lunches. That’s a special thing, so cherish it. In the words of RuPaul, “Don’t fuck it up.” Here are some helpful guidelines for how to comport yourself when you’re dating someone you work with. Keep reading »
Consider the open relationship. Maybe you’ve always felt constrained by a traditional relationship, and known that you could happily be with more than one person. Maybe your partner brings it up to you one night over tacos and margaritas, and you’re game. Or, maybe this is just something that you’ve wanted to try, to see if it’s something you could really succeed at. Most people go into open relationships not because they want to bone every person out there that catches their eye, but because the concept of monogamy is one that for many, feels decidedly foreign. It is kind of strange to think that we’re expected to stay with just the one person for a sustained period of time, and an open relationship can help expand boundaries. If you’re considering an open relationship, keep in mind that, if done correctly, they can be a blast. If handled poorly, like most things in life, they will blow up in your face. Here are some tips on how to navigate this new terrain. Keep reading »