Tag Archives: dating advice

6 Ways To Set The Stage For Love

6 Ways To Set The Stage For Love

Everything I’m about to write must be prefaced by one caveat: falling in love is out of your control. That includes when it will happen, where it will happen and who it will happen with. Although some relationship experts or self-help books would like you to believe otherwise, that’s the honest truth. You cannot  control love. I’ll give you a few minutes — or a few decades– to let that sink in. When I was single that was the hardest part for me to accept. I’m a do-er. So not being able to do anything about this life event that felt very important made me feel utterly useless. Which in turn, made me feel depressed.

To put the whole “falling in love” thing in perspective, I think it only happens truly, madly, deeply once or twice in a lifetime if you’re lucky. Some people are of the belief that there is not a lid for every pot. I’m more of the belief that some of us choose to be alone. And there’s not a thing wrong with that either. So, what do you have control over in all of this? You. I’ll repeat it, there is nothing you can do to make love happen. But there are certain ways of being that are more conducive to falling in love, if that’s what you choose. Here are a few easier-said-than-done things you can do to prepare for the romance you hope to have someday: Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 7: On Syringe Tides & Seahorses

Date-Ade Episode 7: On Syringe Tides & Seahorses
What To Do When He Says, "Don't Fall In Love With Me."
Date-Ade Ep:6
Date-Ade Episode 6: On Subway Clowns & Samadhi
It's OK to be the performance art clown in your relationship. Read More »

This week on Date-Ade – a stream of consciousness advice series for stressed daters — Sophia wants to know how to handle a man who warns her not to fall in love with him.

If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com.

3 Simple Ways To Fall In Love With Your Partner All Over Again

Long term relationship tips

As I mentioned earlier this week, I think fall is the most romantic time of year. Nights are long, the scenery is gorgeous, the drinks are hot, and the weather is perfect for cuddling. Fall is the perfect time to fall in love, but what if you’re already in a long term relationship? Don’t worry! You don’t have to miss out on the fun. Here are 3 easy tips to help you fall in love with your partner all over again, no matter how long you’ve been together… Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 4 Reasons You Should Choose To Be Alone

Dating Don'ts: Island
Dating Dont's: Relationship Island
Why your single friends don't want to join you on Relationship Island... Read More »
Dating Don'ts: You
Dating Don'ts: Maybe It Is You
Maybe it is you after all. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fighting
Dating Don'ts 7 Kinds Of Default Fighting Styles
What kind of default fighter are you? Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Why You Should Choose To Be Alone

“As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.” – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Helen Fielding

Right now, I am single by choice. I am focusing on other things besides dating — my career, my health, learning how to get through life without the support of a partner. I am settling into the idea of living alone after exiting a string of long-term relationships and one short-term situation that ended because I found myself with someone out of the panicky fear that unless I made this relationship work, I would die alone. We live in a time where great anxiety builds over which toppings to choose for your chopped salad. The glut of choice, which seems like it surrounds every decision, is amplified when applied to relationships. Right now, being alone feels like the simplest/hardest choice I can make. Keep reading »

Bad Dating Habits It’s Time To Give Up

It’s National Singles Week, so why not take this time to refresh your dating life? After all, the changing of the seasons is always a great time to reassess your well-being. Here are some bad dating and relationship habits to swear off. And if you’re taken, we’ve got some tips for you, too. Read more at Tres Sugar…

Office Husband Or Office Crush: 6 Subtle Ways To Tell The Difference

Earlier this week, a woman wrote to Betches Love This for advice about a case of “the work weirds.” She complained about a “clingy male coworker” who seems to be paying “special attention” to her:

“He invites me to random parties he hosts, pries into my personal life, and offers to help me with my work (when it’s unnecessary).  I always say I’m busy/ignore him/give one word answers but he isn’t getting the message. He will also do things like comment on a phone conversation he overheard me having or talk to me on office communicator while staring at me.”

Although the advice columnist didn’t seem to pick up on it (she suggested that the guy isn’t interested, he’s just weird), it seems pretty obvious to me that this “clingy male coworker” wants to date this woman. Here’s the thing: male/female office relationships can be confusing. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if that dude at work is flirting with you because you spend so many hours sitting next to each other, eating breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner together, that you can become immune to signals. Romantic feelings can easily be mistaken for the kind of intimacy that blossoms when you’re comfortable enough to fart in front of someone. So how can you tell the subtle difference between an office crush and an office husband? I’ve laid out a few behavioral tip-offs so that you can turn that “clingy male coworker” into a committed office husband (seriously! If that’ all he wants, put him to work and have him refill your water bottle!) or let him down gently if he’s crushing and you’re not. Or better yet…if you’re both into each other, go make out with him in the break room right now (but we urge  you to consider the pros and cons of dating a coworker first). Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 6: On Subway Clowns & Samadhi

Date-Ade Episode 6: On Subway Clowns & Samadhi
Sometimes It's OK To Be The Clown In Your Relationship
Date-Ade Ep. 5
Date-Ade Episode 5: On Trouser Pieces & Stick Shifts
Every trouser piece is different. Read More »

This week on Date-Ade – a stream of consciousness advice series for stressed daters — I talk to Rebecca about lightening up the mood in her relationship with the help of clowns.

If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com.

Dating Don’ts: 3 Reasons Why Your Single Friends Don’t Want To Join You On Relationship Island

Dating Don'ts: Love Crazed?
How not to be one of those annoying, love-crazed types. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Phases
The Breakup Phase You Never Saw Coming
The breakup phase you didn't see coming. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Dont's: Relationship Island

Are you caught up in a new relationship? Has your humdrum existence been enlivened by late weeknights laying in bed and giggling, or gazing into the eyes of a magical creature? Do you find yourself stunned by the creature’s beauty, dazed by the fact that you’ve found just the right person? Do you spend Sunday mornings making coffee for two, arranging artful piles of the paper on your coffee table and reading with your head on your beloved’s lap and your feet in a sunbeam? Have you forgotten what your friends look like?  Congratulations, you’re on Relationship Island! Keep reading »

8 Pieces Of Dating Wisdom I Wish I Could Have Given My Single Self

8 Pieces Of Dating Wisdom I Would Have Given My Single Self

There were many low points in my eight years (more or less) as a single person. One in particular was in December of 2010, right around my 32nd birthday. Funny that I can’t even remember why it was a low point. Probably because I had created some kind of timeline where I imagined that I should have been in a relationship by that point. To cope with all the hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, panic, frustration and feelings of failure I was experiencing, I wrote an open letter to my single self. Although I didn’t believe it at the time, I gave myself the most awesome advice. To quote myself to myself (how meta), my main point was that I should be patient and do nothing:

“In waiting, you’ve grown impatient at times and have tried to force things that weren’t meant to be, fought too hard for something that you knew was wrong, held on too tight to something that was already dead and gone, or pushed people away out of fear. No more of that. The only thing left for you to do now is NOTHING … Love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will. Accept that it’s a mystery and sit down, shut up, enjoy your freaking life, and patiently wait your turn.”

Keep reading »

Revisiting 5 Pieces Of Single Lady Literature Now That I’m In A Relationship

Okay, so I’m in a relationship - and I met him online. I swear, 38th time’s the charm, right? Yes, I did keep track. Once you’re in double digits and you keep failing, it seems important to keep count. But Number 38, who eventually became my boyfriend, is great. He’s smart, funny, charming, and when he asked what I’d say about him in this piece, I told him the only thing I’d tell the Internet is that he has a beard.

I may be in a relationship now, but I still have all the single lady advice books I used to consult. I mean,I’m not going to lie; I was definitely a sucker for these books and I sought them out regularly to help me navigate the uncharted waters of the dating pool. In retrospect, it’s amazing how obsessed I was with trying to figure out how to get the man I wanted as if relationships were pieces of Ikea furniture — something that you put together piece by piece. Fortunately, they’re not. I realize that now. Keep reading »

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