Think of the best first date you ever went on.
Got it? Okay, what did you do immediately afterwards?
If you’re like some women I’ve been out with, you called up your best friend and gushed all about the date. You even posted a not-so-subtle status update on Facebook. Something along the lines of, “Just had an AMAZING night!”
Now, here’s my next—and more important—question:
Before you gushed to your best friend, before you flaunted your euphoria all over Facebook, did you ever stop to consider how your date might have felt about that “amazing” night?
One scenario I encounter frequently on dating advice sites is the woman who goes on a fabulous first date, only to find herself confused when she never hears from that guy again. So, she’s left to wonder … What happened?
“The date went so well. We had so much fun and clicked so amazingly. He was hot and charming and intelligent. I was hot and charming and intelligent. He couldn’t take his eyes off me the whole night So… why didn’t he call again?!” Keep reading »
Ever sense that your special date is too focused on fun to settle down in a relationship? Does your date say and do everything right–except commit to a relationship?
“Everybody plays the fool, sometimes,” sings Aaron Neville in his hit song.
There’s a big difference between feeling like a fool in love and being played as a fool in a dating relationship.
In our tribe, we call these magnetically attractive and emotionally risky dates, “Pioneers”, since they’re always after greener trails.
Pioneers often are recently divorced or “free again” after a big break up, when they enter a phase of chasing pleasure in serial dating. Read more …
You, single woman out there in the dating world, be prepared. For you are going to get bombs dropped on you. The person you are dating has baggage and not all of it is adorable. Every person has unflattering moments in their dating past. Everyone has suffered hardships in their lives. You may find yourself in a situation where you are hit with a revelation you weren’t ready for. Whether it comes up naturally in conversation, you ask the wrong question, or it slips out of his mouth after the second glass of wine, at some point, your date is going to tell you something about himself that may catch you off guard. Ideally, you won’t find out that he broke off an engagement a few months before the wedding until your fourth or fifth date, but you made a joke about getting married on date two, and WHOOMP, there it is. How you react to the baggage bomb is EVERYTHING. Don’t run for cover. Don’t write him off. This is an opportunity to build trust with this person and get to know him better. After the jump, some tips for surviving baggage bombs. Keep reading »
Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment.
If you’re going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ability to step outside yourself and get into someone else’s head and heart (even just a little), your connections instantly improve.
Single men carry around old baggage and wounds just like we do. They’ve accumulated their fair share of dating and relationship bumps and bruises; in fact, they’ve probably had more. Think about it: they’ve been the ones responsible for putting themselves out there first since they were teenagers. Ouch. Talk about rejection. Read more …
Disclaimer: If you’re reading this right now and have the urge to put your love interest’s pet in a pot of boiling water, stop reading and seek professional help immediately. This is not for you. This is for everyone else in the world, for we’ve all had bunny boiling moments. Please don’t even front like you’ve never behaved like an insane person in your dating life. Every single one of us, with the exception of PERFECT PEOPLE or those who are not yet old enough to have experienced temporary romantic insanity, have had off-the-richter scale embarrassing bunny boiling moments. Whether motivated by excessive drunkenness,insane jealousy, crippling insecurity, the aftermath is always the same. Mortifying. We shall not dwell on why you stalked your ex and showed up at the karaoke bar to confront him and his new girlfriend (that’s for you and your therapist to discuss), we want to talk about how to recover from the incident with your dignity intact. One incident of bunny boiling does not make you a psycho a la Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction,” it makes you a human being who made a mistake that you now need to atone for. Some suggestions after the jump. Keep reading »
Some people are good at relationships. They meet potential partners with effortless ease wherever they go—on the subway, in the elevator at work, on line at the grocery store. They strike up conversations with men in bars, get fixed up by friends, and actually enjoy (ugh!) online dating. The people they encounter are emotionally available and commitment-ready, and they sail smoothly into monogamous relationships as if on command.
And then there are those who are more relationship challenged. Mystified by how to transform a Match.com profile into a boyfriend or how to meet a guy who’s not a total commitmentphobe. You probably feel like you’re trapped in an ’80s movie, forever destined to be on the outside, looking longingly in at all the couples with their hands resting in the back pocket of each other’s acid-washed jeans. How do they do it? you wonder, as you force yourself to “put yourself out there” yet again, gritting your teeth through another brutal bout of online dating.
If the relationship you so desperately desire keeps remaining just out of reach, there may be internal blocks to intimacy standing in your way. Rather than muscling through an endless barrage of bad dates and painful, short-lived relationships, take a time out to identify any deep-seated beliefs and counter-productive patterns that could be holding you back. Click through for barriers that might be sabotaging your relationship efforts—and how to kiss them goodbye.
Jennifer Garam is a Brooklyn-based blogger, freelance writer, and teacher who writes the blogs One Writeous Chick and NotSoZen YogaJen. You can follow her on Twitter at @writeouschick.
Internet dating: isn’t it fun? It can be if know how to have fun with it. Don’t just sit back and wait for people to contact you. If you are male or female (especially if you’re female) reach out and contact the people you find attractive. It’s a whole different world of dating today.
What I tell my clients is to think of Internet dating like a huge single’s party. Let’s say you were looking around the room and someone caught your eye. You could never be sure who noticed whom first. Maybe the other person had been checking you out seconds earlier. The thing is to hook that other person’s attention and create a spark so they he or she will want to talk to you. It’s the same with the Internet. All you want to do is get the other person’s attention and make them want to know more. Read more …
There’s nothing worse than a dater with loose lips. While I totally understand the impulse to seek dating advice or share the blow-by-blow of your love life with close friends or family members, I urge you to do so with extreme caution. I strongly feel that dating should be conducted with as much dignity and discretion as one can muster. I know, it’s hard sometimes when FEELINGS are involved. Oh FEELINGS. I have ended up in too many uncomfortable situations because of my own inability to keep my mouth shut. I’ve also had the misfortune of dating a couple of dudes who had no idea how to keep our private business under wraps. So let this be a reminder to them and me and to all of you: Don’t let your FEELINGS overtake your COMMON SENSE. Think before you speak about someone you dated, especially if you have friends or colleagues in common. Not only does it make you look bad to be running your mouth and burning up Facebook and Twitter about your dating escapades, but on the off chance that it gets back to him or her (and it always does), it could really hurt someone’s FEELINGS even more. After the jump, some hard and fast rules for making sure you aren’t undatable because of your big mouth. Keep reading »
In all my dating years, I never thought much about kissing styles, and never put much weight into a great first kiss. But recently, I’ve had a couple of experiences that leave me wondering … how important is kissing compatibility?
In my opinion, most first kisses are a little awkward. I think it’s natural to need a little practice before two sets of lips can find their perfect rhythm. And I would never deny a guy a second date because he kissed outside the lines, or because we clumsily knocked teeth. (I would wonder, however … “Is his mouth just that much bigger than mine? Or, does he have very big teeth?”) Read more …
I am officially, unofficially implementing a new rule for coupled people everywhere. Please, please, please if you are spoken for, you must mention it within five minutes of having a flirty conversation with me. I am forever meeting men in social situations (I’m sure ladies do this too, so feel free to chime in guys) who will sit and talk to me for 15 minutes, half hour, sometimes even longer, will go so far as to get my number or give me theirs and wait until the very last second that we’re saying good bye to inform me that they are in a relationship or even married. On occasion, these guys have neglected to mention said girlfriend/fianceé/ wife until our first — what I believed to be — date! Come on now, people! Not cool. Keep reading »