Breakups are brutal, and we rarely end a relationship with all of our feelings, regrets and issues off our chest. Instead, we’re left with a tornado of confusing emotions accumulating debris inside of us, potentially setting off some really bad decision-making. The post-breakup email would be at the top of that list. It’s totally understandable to want to send one last email — either for closure or answers or to explain yourself, but more often, as a medium for your residual hurt and anger. While all of those reasons seem really valid, you have to let go of the idea that sending the email will make you feel better. It most certainly won’t. DO NOT SEND A POST-BREAKUP EMAIL. Let me repeat that. DO NOT HIT SEND.
The only person who really gets hurt by sending out that post-breakup email is you. Unless your ex is a straight up sociopath, he already feels bad about breaking your heart, but sending a bitchy/snarky/sympathy-seeking/guilt-tripping/nailing-ass-to-wall email just lets him off the hook.You might think having the last word will make him feel worse, but in fact, they will actually make him feel better. Any negative feelings he had about you — you just validated them when you hit send. Keep reading »
“I’m just not going to date for awhile,” is a frequent refrain I hear from my clients. There’s often a lack of enthusiasm and resolve in the delivery, signaling ambivalence. You’re probably familiar with the idea of burnout with respect to repetitive, boring jobs, or highly stressful work situations. Fatigue and a lack of interest in your work are among the signs. Actually, you can burnout on almost anything, including dating. These are the telltale signs of dating burnout and strategies to avoid it:
1. Lackluster interest in new dates. You must begin to ask yourself why you’re pursuing someone at all if you can barely muster the enthusiasm to get ready. Or perhaps you’ve lowered the bar too much and your dates really aren’t interesting. It’s time to focus on something else. Read more on Your Tango…
There are many differences between men and women, both in the way we’re designed physically and the way we process things emotionally. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that the way we view relationships is also very different. The main problem in a lot of relationships is women don’t know what men want.
While the differences may seem vast, they’re pretty simple when you break it down. Once you can understand them, you’ll have a much easier time understanding your guy and making your relationship even more amazing.
I want to preface this by saying that I know there are exceptions but for the sake of clarification, I’m going to be speaking about the way men and women are in general.
In general, the appeal of a relationship for a women is the relationship. Women naturally gravitate towards the idea of marriage and see it as highly appealing. An ideal relationship for a woman is one where she feels understood and connected to her significant other. An ideal man is one who truly understands her. Read more on A New Mode…
As if dating wasn’t hard enough – you throw in a portable, typed-word machine and suddenly it’s pandemonium. Tones, intentions, invitations all get jumbled in this lawless land of shorthand communication. Suddenly the guy you’re dating’s “C u later” message means he’s dumping you when he really just wanted to let you know he’d see you at 8p.m. for Chinese food.
Oh texting, how you make things much, much more complicated than they have any right to be. I can’t tell you the hours my friends and I have spent reciting, decrypting, bemoaning, and conjuring up an honors thesis on a five-word text message.
Personally, I don’t like to be too harsh a judge on a guy’s texting style if I don’t really him. Everyone has their faults, after all. But there are some serious warning signs in the form of text messages. Below, the types of texters who warrant anything from healthy skepticism to restraining orders: Keep reading »
They don’t say, “First impressions are the best impressions,” for nothing. It’s very true! How a person behaves with us the first time we meet them definitely sets the tone for our future interactions, especially if it’s a first date.
I feel like I am always being bombarded with magazine articles about what women shouldn’t do on the first date, so today, I decided to turn the tables around. I have compiled a list of 10 things guys shouldn’t even think about doing on their first dates.
Checking Your Cellphone. This is our first date. Your attention should be on me. Not on your phone. Actually, this is a pet peeve of mine in general. Even when I am just with my friends at dinner, it annoys me to the millionth power when we make all this effort to have dinner plans and all my friends spend doing during dinner is checking their phones! Read more on College Candy…
A lot of people think of acts of romance as being gender-specific. Men should bring home bouquets of long-stemmed roses and women should wear naughty lingerie to keep the fire burning in their relationships. The problem with this kind of thinking is that it perpetuates false gender roles and actually misleads people into following a set of rigid sex-centric guidelines that ends up hurting the relationship — and disregards your uniqueness as a couple. I have a solution.
So here’s my secret technique: consider romance from the perspective of a cat or a dog.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “What’s the difference between thinking in male/female terms and cat/dog terms?” Bear with me for a moment. Read more on Your Tango…