Recently, I met a guy that I liked at a party. When we were saying our goodbyes, he suggested we continue our conversation. I assumed he meant that we would do this by Facebook or email or text or Gchat — you know, the usual ways I communicate with potential love interests. When he wrote down his phone number and suggested that I call him, my response was, “On the phone?” He laughed. “Yes, on the phone.” My heart began to jackhammer at the mere thought of dialing his number. I couldn’t? Could I? Maybe I could? I felt, well, I felt like I used to feel back in my high school and college days. Back when there was no Facebook or text or email or Gchat and you had to talk to the people you were dating.
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It’s pretty obvious that men and women communicate differently—that simple fact has been the basis for many a tired sitcom or rom com plot. But the gender divide in communication is an interesting one to explore, especially in terms of relationships. Tokii investigated these differences and found some surprising results (see infographic below) that are worth paying attention to if you’d like to keep your relationship (and your sex life) intact. Yeah, we thought that might grab your attention.
“We need to talk.” We call that the “phrase that launched a thousand breakups.” It’s pretty easy to dread the conversation that follows once someone speaks those four words. Tokii’s results show that 89 percent of men assume the worst when their partner says “Let’s talk,” only 61 percent of women do the same. The takeaway? Find a new way to initiate difficult conversations. Read more …
When it comes to men, I have a type. Physically, he’s tall and lean. He’s also the soft-spoken intellectual and creative type. And more often than not, he’s emotionally unavailable and self-absorbed. And yet, I date him over and over again, like a broken record stuck on one false note.
This might be why there’s an entire dating industry geared toward women. And as much as you might want to blame it on “Sex and the City,” the truth of the matter is that many women, myself included, don’t always go for the right type of guy. You may now cue the latest romantic comedy that you don’t want to believe is loosely based on your life. But in honor of New Year, New You Month, it’s time for a change Keep reading »
Your passive-aggressive aunt bought you a Match.com subscription for Christmas. While your first impulse was to hit her with a brick, you’ve always been curious about online dating. “What the heck?” you figure. “I’ll write an ad and take a look around.” But when you’re on your own in virtual reality, the search for computer-generated love can be daunting. Here are the top online dating types to avoid. Keep reading »
Guess who I’m not hopping into to bed with? The guy who just moments ago confessed that his dream in life is to “live in a yurt.” No offense to his dream, but my dream is never to go camping, never to interface with wild animals, and never go without running water or poop in a hole unless emergency dictates it. Just moments earlier, I was digging this fellow and now all I can see when I look at him is a vision of what he will look after a few years in his yurt — a little bit like Tom Hanks in “Castaway.” “No thanks,” says my vagina. After the jump, some things that guys have said to us that killed our attraction to them in two seconds flat. Keep reading »
Whether you’ve been dating for weeks or years, the first holiday meal you spend at his family’s house is unnerving. Hopefully, you’ve met his family before this big day, though maybe you haven’t. Regardless, the premiere Thanksgiving at his parents’ house is an entirely new adventure –who knows what you’re walking into? Each family has its own set of rituals, customs, and holiday expectations, not to mention unique ways of communicating, joking — and making stuffing. Here are 10 tips to help you minimize any potential awkwardness so that you won’t feel like the odd (wo)man out, and can instead focus on the marathon eating. And if you’re a liberal vegetarian and his parents are meat-worshiping Tea Partiers, maybe read this list twice.
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About seven years ago, when I had just gotten out of two back-to-back, serious relationships, my good friend Sadie* was eager to get me to dip my toe back in the dating pool again. I was 26 years old and single for the first time in many, many years. So, basically, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I had never really “dated” before.
I’d met my last two boyfriends randomly through friends. I wasn’t looking to meet them, I just did. We got to know each other slowly, there wasn’t any pressure, and I knew they both really cared about me. I thought this was just the way people met; that falling in love was something that happened easily. Looking back, I realize how terribly naive I was.
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I find one of the most stressful parts of dating to be the whole “scheduling” thing. When you’re on the dating scene, one thing you learn very quickly is that every person seems to have a different idea of how dates are made … and broken. Because I am a type A, very busy schedule, everything planned, values manners kind of girl, I get bristly when cancelled on rudely or abruptly. A few weeks ago, a bloke sent me a text two hours before our date saying that he couldn’t meet up because “his friend needed him.” Who even knows what that means? Not that I cared. I was just pissed because I could have gone to yoga and I didn’t have my mat with me! I understand that things come up. I’ve even had to cancel dates myself. But there is a proper way to cancel a date with a lady, especially if you intend to see her again in the future. After the jump, some date canceling etiquette for the kind and conscientious man. Keep reading »
It’s a rare man who knows how to deal with an emotional woman. I know that “feelings” scare a lot of dudes and in their fear and perfectly admirable desire to “fix things,” they become inert, inept, or insensitive. I’ll never forget the first time my most serious boyfriend saw me cry. He didn’t say anything at all, he just started to tear up with me. I remember thinking the man was a f**king genius! And I love him! And he should write a guide book for the rest of mankind! Not that I expect every man to cry with me, not at all, I just want them to let me feel without trying to make it stop, to comfort me without making me uncomfortable. But that’s rare. In the midst of an emotional jag, I usually end up reassuring the man that my emotions will soon come to an end and life as they know it will resume. This is why I prefer going to my female friends when I’m upset, they know better than to tell me to “buck up” or something lame like that. Just shut up and pass the tissues. After the jump, some things guys say when we’re emotional that really don’t work and some much better alternatives. Keep reading »
“Hmm … good relationship advice for me tends to be being honest and knowing yourself. Don’t be an a**hole. That’s my advice. Don’t be mean. Don’t take s**t. Don’t settle.”
—Kristen Stewart gives Twilight scribe Stephanie Meyer her best relationship advice in the new issue of Glamour. I like that Kristen keeps it simple and, honestly, this is pretty sound advice. There have definitely been moments in relationships when I realize I am being a jerk and, yep, those would have been better avoided. [Huffington Post]