After a particularly bad breakup, most of us would admit to some crazy behavior. Of course, crazy is in the eye of the beholder … or the receiver. It may start innocently enough with drunken texts, Facebook stalking or obsessing over your need for closure. Unfortunately, every once and a while, a breakup sends even the most level-headed woman into a tailspin.
According to the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), there are nearly 400 diagnosable mental disorders — none of which have anything to do with the sudden onset of insanity after a breakup. Even doctors can get it wrong sometimes. In 1974, the APA removed homosexuality from the DSM as a mental disorder (thank you!), and they’ve added new disorders to the list since, such as Frotteurism (behaviors involving touching and rubbing against a non-consenting person). While a bad breakup probably won’t induce Frotteurism, it can cause seemingly intelligent, beautiful, educated, wonderful women to lose control. For the DSM-V, which comes out next year, I would like to offer up a new disorder for consideration — Post-Breakup Insanity, or PBI. Keep reading »
We have been dating for two years now, already talking about marriage. A year ago I changed my facebook relationship status into “in the relationship.” He didn’t. He is still single in Facebook. I never brought this up as it is sounds childish. Two months ago I changed mine into “single.” I figured why would I when he doesn’t care about these stuff.
Is this so immature that I want everyone in the world to know that we are in love? Read more …
“You’re really mean to yourself,” my friend said after I’d finished listing all the ways I’d messed up a date with a guy I really liked. What did I do that I found so unacceptable? Here’s the list:
1. I didn’t offer to pay. I always offer to pay, but then I feel resentful because I don’t really want to pay and I want the guy to decline my offer, so I was just trying to experiment with letting myself feel treated. But now he probably thinks I’m using him and just in it for a free meal!
2.I botched the kiss goodnight moment. He went in for the kiss and I kissed him on the cheek, then gushed about what a great time I had to overcompensate for the missed kiss, then jumped out of his car. Because I wanted to kiss him, but I also wanted to take it slow, but I was nervous, and could I have been more horribly awkward?!
3. I talked about an ex. Absolutely unforgivable!!! Why, why, why did I do this??? Keep reading »
While most will probably remember 2012 as the “Year Of The YOLO” (and by “most” I mean “like seven people”), it holds special significance for me because it’ll likely be the first year since 2002 where I spent the entire year single. I haven’t completed a full calendar year yet — May will make it seven months since the former Lady Champ and I decided to go our separate ways — but because I seem to enjoy doing random anthropological experiments on myself for absolutely no reason (and because I’m an INTJ and INTJs apparently suck at relationships), I’m confident that I’ll make it to 2013 without having to change my Facebook relationship status again.
Anyway, if I could sum up my seven months of singledom in one word, it would most likely be “interesting.” Read more …
Jennie is all torn up inside. She recently came to the realization that she’s in love. The guy she loves is perfect for her — he loves sports like she does, he’s considerate, kind and he even likes her parents. The trouble is that this guy doesn’t know she loves him. They’ve been close friends for years now. They have supported one another through bad relationships, job interviews, career successes and more. Now that they’re both single, Jennie is starting to realize that her feelings for him are more than just friends. Read more …
Yeah, I said it. The ‘C’ word that girls hate most: Crazy. And guess what ladies, we’ve all got a little bit of it. I don’t mean serial killer, collect people’s teeth crazy. Just that crazy we’re called when reason gives way to emotion and impulse. Those moments when we react without getting to the bottom of how we’re feeling, without really getting to the source of our frustration, and it all comes out as a disconcerted mess that makes us look more than a little foolish. Funny how that C word leads to that B word. Maybe I’m the only one?
I’ll level with you. I consider myself a confident and reasonable woman. I believe self reflection is important and a crucial part of growing into a mature individual, and that self awareness is a human responsibility. I try to judge situations fairly, and I’m generally pretty hard on myself. And you know what? I thought I was doing okay. Read more …
“This isn’t working for me anymore,” he says abruptly one night on the phone, and you’re stunned. Everything had been going great. You’d even been thinking about places to go on a summer vacation together, but unfortunately, he had other plans. And you did not see this coming.
Breakups are hard enough when you know things aren’t working out and sense that the end is looming, but they’re even more painful when you’re totally caught by surprise. What relationship was I in? you wonder, since it was obviously so different from the one your boyfriend was in. Questioning whether you were completely out of touch with reality, you search for red flags you may have missed, look for everything you could have done wrong, and long for answers. Keep reading »
Real talk: Both Ami and I are obsessive Tetris players. We both play Tetris on our iPhones on our travels to and from work. It’s my subway escape. I have mastered how to play while embarking and disembarking from the train and I can play virtually anywhere. Ami’s high score (she’s only been playing a couple of months) is 205,746. Mine is 568,600. I’ve played no less than, like, 13,000 games on my phone. Like, my phone might as well just be for Tetris and text messages. I, uh, might have a problem.
It occurred to me that Tetris might not just be a game of fitting shapes into other shapes originally invented by Russians (true story): It might also be a metaphor! For life! And love! And so Ami and I have come up with a list of 13 rules of Tetris that also apply to dating. Keep reading »
Hey Frisky readers! I’m excited to announce that The Frisky is one of the sponsors of a super fun all-day event called “Single in Stilettos” here in New York City on April 28th — and I am one of the featured sexperts! I’ll be joining my fabulous friend, Luscious Lifestyle Diva Yolanda Shoshana, as well as sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming in an hour-long panel about getting what you want in the bedroom. But there’s a whole day’s worth of fun to enjoy, with dating experts of all sorts sharing their secrets — check out the full agenda here! I’m dying for Frisky readers to come and we’ve got $25 discount tickets (instead of $80) just for you (use discount code SPK4 at checkout). There will be a complimentary happy hour (I will be the one double-fisting!), a raffle and goody bags, plus you’ll leave with a whole bunch of new sex and dating tips. The last event sold out so hop to it! Get more info and buy tickets here!
For those of you not in the New York Area, don’t fret — I’ll be doing a post after the event about some of the fun and informative stuff I learned from my fellow panelists.
Over and over society seems to say that men and women can’t be “just friends.” An article in The New York Times delineates these points from “When Harry Met Sally,” to more recent movies like “Friends With Benefits.” But sex and relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil takes the idea of “just friends” and turns it on its head: what if this is the coward’s way out?
Dr. Bonnie explains that adding in sex and intimacy into a relationship is more tricky so some people opt to take the friends-only root. “That’s not to say that every male/female friendship should end in marriage or that every such relationship harbors repressed romantic feelings. But often there is at least one member of the friendship who hopes for something more but doesn’t act on it.” Read more …