When meeting people in real life became too much work, we went online to date. When online dating becomes tedious (and it pretty much already has), what’s next? We date through apps, obviously. After all, why spend hours combing through various online profiles, when you can just tap a button on your phone? If you haven’t heard of Grouper or Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, then… you’re clearly in a happy relationship.
Pshh. I’ll explain: Grouper is like a group blind date; you fill out a short questionnaire and it sets you and two friends up with three guy friends who are revealed at a given location. Other apps like Tinder show you pictures of potential matches that you can choose to like or pass, and mutual “likes” become grounds for further contact. And while there are positives to such dating formats, like maximizing potential suitors with minimal effort and taking screen shots and sending them to your friends for giggles, in the end, they’re all just as bad, or even worse, than putting in your time on OKCupid. Let’s flesh out all the things that can go wrong with these apps, shall we? Keep reading »
“Two years ago, I was depressed because I hadn’t found the true love of my life. I was like, ‘What’s wrong with me? I’m smart. I make money. I’m pretty. What’s going on?’ I told Jill [Zarin], who said, ‘Something is running in your unconscious that is preventing you from finding love.’ …The unconscious is the bus driver and if it has no map, it has no direction and that’s why you can’t figure things out … Forty eight hours later, David walked into my life … We are living together. Things are great. I’m really happy.”
–Patti Stanger gushes to People about how she met her soulmate, former baseball player, David Krause. Look, I’m terribly happy for everyone who finds true love. I believe in soul mates. And maybe David is Patti’s true love. All that is well and good, but what I can’t stand is her using her love story as a sales pitch for self-promotion. The other thing that drives me nuts in the whole “self-help-y dating advice” world is when someone peddles oversimplified versions of new thought principles stolen from the The Secret to reel people into feeling “single shame.” Keep reading »
The scenario is a common one – it’s happened to me and, while writing this piece, I did an informal survey and asked a handful of women in my life if they were familiar with the phenomenon of fake-friending. All them were. And almost all of them – myself included – admitted to having been on both sides. As a person with a lot of close male friends, I’ve fake-friended multiple new girlfriends in the interest of research (Because really? Her? Is she funny or something? He told me he doesn’t even like brunettes!), and I’ve been the new girlfriend who suddenly had a suspiciously good-looking college friend of my new boyfriend Facebook messaging me that “we should get together.”
It usually goes like this: a man and a woman begin dating and eventually get to a point where they start to meet each other’s friends. If they are well-adjusted, normal adults, they will probably have friends of both genders. Maybe it’s awesome. Maybe the new girlfriend and the female friends genuinely have a lot in common — they do have similar taste in men, after all — and everyone becomes friends and the world continues to turn in perfect harmony.
But probably, because humans are just sacks of guts and hormones, at least one of those female friends will likely have or have had feelings for the newly-spoken-for. Maybe they dated or slept together once (or for a while*) and it didn’t work out. Whatever the specifics, the dynamic is the same: the female friend doesn’t necessarily want to date the guy, but she doesn’t want him dating that girl. And instead of admitting that (and thus, admitting her feelings), the platonic female friend will launch an attack of niceness. Keep reading »
When I heard about the book, It’s Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date my first thought was: ORLLY? Tell me more! After watching a whole parade of books about dating rules through my lifetime, from THE RULES to 30-Day Love Detox (no sex for the first 30 days), it’s refreshing to see a book that’s all about debunking traditional dating rules. But is the message too good to be true? The point authors Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser are making is simple: Trust yourself.
Well that’s easy to say if you’re not a neurotic basket case with non-stop monkey chatter running through your brain. Don’t we need dating rules to save ourselves from ourselves, or do dating rules really prevent us from being our most authentic selves? I decided to take some of the rules Syrtash and Wilser debunk in their book and see what my friends think about them. Turns out they’ve broken most of these rules, too — with no regrets. Read more on The Stir…
Six years ago, I couldn’t get a real date to save my life. I blamed nearly all of that on my size and used weight as a shield to deflect getting rejected. When you’re overweight you come up with all kinds of reason why dating sucks, like “guys are such jerks! They won’t even LOOK at you if you’re not a size 2!” or my favorite“Whatever, I just want a guy to value ME for ME — not how I look.”
But let’s be real here — if you’re overweight and single, it can feel like there’s no hope in the world for finding a person that madly, truly, deeply loves YOU. Yes, even ALL of you.
Dating while being overweight isn’t a death-sentence to single-dom at all, so here are 5 rules for curvy women who want pure dating mastery! And for added intrigued I’ve personally used all these rules in my dating life, which lead to one helluva man to put a ring on it. Read more on Your Tango…
Yesterday, I teared up over a iPhone photo of my high school best friend looking stunning in a potential wedding gown. It was captioned, “This could be the one!” My watery response startled me just as much as seeing a childhood friend looking bridal.
Two days ago, I felt a genuine jolt of elation upon seeing a different, dear friend’s engagement ring. I stammered to my mom on the phone, “I’ve known her since I was four and now she’s getting married!”
If I’d been confronted with wedding artifacts even six months ago, I would have eeked out my best ecstatic voice and plastered on a fake smile. Meanwhile my insides would have balked and squirmed. The feeling of being trapped in domesticity would have spread like a rash.
Now the only unpleasant feeling that emerges after getting engagement party invitations and the word “fiancé” is the lingering aftertaste of my anxiety. In the love arena, I’m far behind two girls I grew up with. Keep reading »