Tag Archives: dating advice

Dating Don’ts: Where There Is Driftwood…

Dating Don'ts: Breakups
These kinds of breakups suck the very most. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Dealbreaker
Dating Don'ts: We're All Just Walking Dealbreakers
We're all just walking dealbreakers. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fatigue
When dating fatigue sets it, it's a bitch. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Where There Is Driftwood

When I went through my last breakup (before my current, very happy relationship)  — I think I was on breakup #72 in my dating lifetime — I was like, game over. I’m not doing this anymore. Because at a certain point, after enough relationships bomb, you just don’t have the will to keep trying anymore. I know I didn’t. I was like Wile E. Coyote when he gets flattened by the Roadrunner, only without the motivation to get back up. It wasn’t that I was so heartbroken over this guy; it was that I was so heartbroken over constantly getting my heart broken. While I was peeling my soul off the asphalt (read: drinking lots of Malbec and doing lots of hot yoga) a friend said something helpful to me: Where there is driftwood.  Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 2: On Accidents & Accidental “I Love Yous”

Date-Ade Episode 2
Accidental "I Love Yous" Happen All The Time
Date-Ade: Episode 1
Date-Ade Episode 1: On Ducks, Dishonesty & That Weird Thing Your Boyfriend Said
On ducks, dishonesty and that weird thing your boyfriend said. Read More »

I think I’ve mentioned (numerous times) that canned dating advice drives me crazy. Love and relationships are not a one-size-fits-all pair of shoes. I admittedly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve found that I give the best advice when I share my own stories — as weird as they may be — and offer empathy. Inspired by Jack Handy’s “Deep Thoughts,” Date-Ade offers stream of consciousness solutions for stressed daters.

If you have a sex,dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to date-ade@thefrisky.com.

A Step-By-Step Guide To Comforting Your Crying Girlfriend

On Crying
A writer talks about a time when everyone saw her cry. Read More »
Why We Cry
Here are things that make us sob uncontrollably. Read More »
Crying In Public
Here are some things to think about if you're trying not to cry in public. Read More »
A Step-By-Step Guide To Comforting Your Crying Girlfriend

Let’s talk about crying. Specifically, about the awkward dynamic that occurs when you’re crying hysterically and your boyfriend is sitting there looking trapped, but not in a “bitches be cray,” kind of way. He’s looking at you like he’s scared because he loves you and he wants to help you feel better but he’s not sure what to do. Only you don’t want any kind of help, all you want is comfort — especially if you’re in the throes of a hormonal crying jag. Those are the worst because they come on suddenly and can be set off by something as small as running out of toothpaste and make you feel inordinate amounts of embarrassment. I’m crying and I have no idea why!?

Trying to figure out why only makes you cry harder and then the boyfriend feels more helpless, because even though he may be a super sensitive dude, the only time he cried in the last decade was when his grandmother died. It’s not that he doesn’t feel crappy enough to cry. He just expresses it differently. Crying, for him, is a last resort type of thing and it’s always pegged to a specific event. He doesn’t get that crying for you, is like cleaning gunk out of drain –if you don’t do it every now and then, the drain will get clogged. So there he is getting frustrated by how inept he feels and you end up having to comfort him. No really, I’m fine, just leave me alone and let me cry my fucking brains out. Sound familiar?It probably does. What he needs a step-by-step guide for how to handle you when you’re in the throes of a crying jag. We thought we’d help out. Keep reading »

13 Idiotic Dating Tips From Thor Lund, A Former Student Body President Who’s “Learned About Women”

Dating Don'ts: Guys
Dating Don'ts: The Danger In Being Just One Of The Guys
As in, just one of the guys. Why you shouldn't try to be one. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Email
Dating Don'ts: 5 Alternatives To Sending An Angry, Post-Breakup Email
Some alternatives to sending an angry, post-breakup email. Read More »
Don't Be The Worst
Rules for living in GIF form. Read More »
thor lund

What can we tell you about Thor Lund, author of the missive “What I Learned About Women”? For starters, his name is Thor Lund (here’s his Facebook page). He’s the former student government president at the University of Texas-Austin (pictured above) and a current student there. And his name is Thor. And he thinks he knows a lot about ladiiiiiiez. So much so that he wrote 5,127 (!) words about ladies on his personal blog, ThorLund724 (which is a bit Entertainment 720 if you ask me). The post went up yesterday — and was written about by Daily Texan Online — but was taken down in the last few hours because, according to Thor in the replacement text, “it cost me one of my very close friendships.” Luckily, we snagged the text before it was removed (here it is cached)! After the jump,  Thor tells you exactly how women work. Keep reading »

Date-Ade Episode 1: On Ducks, Dishonesty & That Weird Thing Your Boyfriend Said

Date-Ade Episode 1: On Ducks, Dishonesty & That Weird Thing Your Boyfriend Said
Date-Ade: Meditations For Stressed Daters

In my years of writing at The Frisky, I think I’ve mentioned (numerous times) that canned dating advice drives me crazy. Love and relationships are not a one-size-fits-all pair of shoes. All of our feet are different! Often our sex and relationship dilemmas are more existential in nature and can’t be solved with a simple how-to list. Every now and then, I get a letter from a Frisky reader (or a friend) asking for love advice. I admittedly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve found that I give the best advice when I share my own stories — as weird as they may be — and offer empathy. Inspired by Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts, my new video series Date-Ade offers mini stream of consciousness meditations for stressed daters.

If you have a sex,dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send me your questions at date-ade@thefrisky.com.

Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend’s Isn’t

Dating Don'ts: Fake Friend
Dating Don'ts: Why Platonic Friends Shouldn't Fake-Friend The New Girlfriend
Fake friending sucks for all ladies. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: He's Back!
Why you should be wary when you hear from him unexpectedly. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Negging
Just say no to negging! Read More »
Dating Don’ts: How To Deal When Your Career Is Blowing Up And Your Boyfriend's Isn't

Remember that episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie got a big advance for her book while her boyfriend, Jack Berger, watched his flounder? He was so jealous of her success! And he didn’t want to be that guy! As much as “SATC” got basically every single thing about relationships wrong, they still managed to kind of nail this one. Sometimes you are dating that guy, and you are that woman. Your career is on the up and up, while he’s either stuck in a job with no mobility, or straight up unemployed.

We live in a time when women are increasingly likely to be the sole breadwinners in their families and, in some career paths, we even get paid as much or more than our male colleagues. Which is awesome. It’s exactly what we wanted.

But it can also cause tension in relationships because, to be honest, we haven’t really collectively agreed on how to deal with the shift; women have been conditioned to behave as if men have more money, more career ambition, and more promise, even as statistics prove that is less and less likely to be the case. Below are some tips for how to deal when you’re blowing up, but the person you’re dating isn’t. Keep reading »

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