Yeah, I said it. The ‘C’ word that girls hate most: Crazy. And guess what ladies, we’ve all got a little bit of it. I don’t mean serial killer, collect people’s teeth crazy. Just that crazy we’re called when reason gives way to emotion and impulse. Those moments when we react without getting to the bottom of how we’re feeling, without really getting to the source of our frustration, and it all comes out as a disconcerted mess that makes us look more than a little foolish. Funny how that C word leads to that B word. Maybe I’m the only one?
I’ll level with you. I consider myself a confident and reasonable woman. I believe self reflection is important and a crucial part of growing into a mature individual, and that self awareness is a human responsibility. I try to judge situations fairly, and I’m generally pretty hard on myself. And you know what? I thought I was doing okay. Read more …
“This isn’t working for me anymore,” he says abruptly one night on the phone, and you’re stunned. Everything had been going great. You’d even been thinking about places to go on a summer vacation together, but unfortunately, he had other plans. And you did not see this coming.
Breakups are hard enough when you know things aren’t working out and sense that the end is looming, but they’re even more painful when you’re totally caught by surprise. What relationship was I in? you wonder, since it was obviously so different from the one your boyfriend was in. Questioning whether you were completely out of touch with reality, you search for red flags you may have missed, look for everything you could have done wrong, and long for answers. Keep reading »
Real talk: Both Ami and I are obsessive Tetris players. We both play Tetris on our iPhones on our travels to and from work. It’s my subway escape. I have mastered how to play while embarking and disembarking from the train and I can play virtually anywhere. Ami’s high score (she’s only been playing a couple of months) is 205,746. Mine is 568,600. I’ve played no less than, like, 13,000 games on my phone. Like, my phone might as well just be for Tetris and text messages. I, uh, might have a problem.
It occurred to me that Tetris might not just be a game of fitting shapes into other shapes originally invented by Russians (true story): It might also be a metaphor! For life! And love! And so Ami and I have come up with a list of 13 rules of Tetris that also apply to dating. Keep reading »
Hey Frisky readers! I’m excited to announce that The Frisky is one of the sponsors of a super fun all-day event called “Single in Stilettos” here in New York City on April 28th — and I am one of the featured sexperts! I’ll be joining my fabulous friend, Luscious Lifestyle Diva Yolanda Shoshana, as well as sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming in an hour-long panel about getting what you want in the bedroom. But there’s a whole day’s worth of fun to enjoy, with dating experts of all sorts sharing their secrets — check out the full agenda here! I’m dying for Frisky readers to come and we’ve got $25 discount tickets (instead of $80) just for you (use discount code SPK4 at checkout). There will be a complimentary happy hour (I will be the one double-fisting!), a raffle and goody bags, plus you’ll leave with a whole bunch of new sex and dating tips. The last event sold out so hop to it! Get more info and buy tickets here!
For those of you not in the New York Area, don’t fret — I’ll be doing a post after the event about some of the fun and informative stuff I learned from my fellow panelists.
Over and over society seems to say that men and women can’t be “just friends.” An article in The New York Times delineates these points from “When Harry Met Sally,” to more recent movies like “Friends With Benefits.” But sex and relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil takes the idea of “just friends” and turns it on its head: what if this is the coward’s way out?
Dr. Bonnie explains that adding in sex and intimacy into a relationship is more tricky so some people opt to take the friends-only root. “That’s not to say that every male/female friendship should end in marriage or that every such relationship harbors repressed romantic feelings. But often there is at least one member of the friendship who hopes for something more but doesn’t act on it.” Read more …
Each month, Sparkology.com, a quality-driven, luxury dating site for young professionals, asks a curated panel of dating experts for their advice on a single hot topic as requested by our members.
THIS MONTH: “Is there a good way to say ‘Thanks, but I’m not interested’ to someone that messaged you? How can you respond without making it awkward?”
Check out how the dating experts responded after the jump. Keep reading »
When it comes to new boyfriends, there are a million thoughts and feelings rushing through our heads and hearts. We can’t eat, sleep, talk, breathe, etc. Sometimes falling for a new guy can feel like being drunk. You don’t act like yourself. You may not notice yourself turning into a complete crazy, but I can tell you that your friends will.
Your friends will tolerate you talking about this new said BF on the regular for only a few short moments. They are going to get annoyed. They are going to want to punch you in the face if you say “us” or “we” in a sentence pertaining to him one more time, but does this bother you? Do we care that much about what our friends think of our boyfriends? Is it a deal breaker if they don’t? Read more …
Spring is the perfect demonstration of the possibilities for our lives as the seasons change and bring with it a new opportunity for a better day. Spring has always been a magical time of the year because it is nature’s illustration of whatever appears to be “dead and without life” can come alive once again. Single women can get a fresh start for spring by realizing that no matter how dismal their love life appears to be, in an instant, this can change with a correct change in mindset, approach and understanding.
1. Forgive. You must make emotional room in your life for what you want before you can see physical manifestation of the desires of our hearts. That requires you to stop filling up your waking hours with work and caring for your children and make time for dating. You must also be willing to let go of past pains and hang-ups that stand in your way of finding true love. Read more …
I think it’s so annoying when girls won’t eat a big meal in front of their date, or just have to wear a full face of makeup whenever a guy they like is around. We’re humans, not dolls with no organs, and last time I checked, men feel pretty comfortable burping and the rest around us. This piece on Madame Noire listing “7 things you should be comfortable doing around your man” is right on target. Unless he accepts you the way you are, it isn’t true love! Read more …
I am pathetic for reasons too numerous to count, so for the moment, let’s focus on just one: I watch a stupid amount of daytime TV. So that means I’m well-schooled in various bits of contemporary pop psychology, like this little gem care of Dr. Phil: For a relationship to work in the long term, you must be aligned with your partner on three key issues: Communication, sex and money. That’s what’ll keep you together according to Dr. Phil. But what about what draws you together according to me and my cursory knowledge of pop psychology? Is it the stuff of long-term commitments? Or something else? A lit match with a fuse that’ll blow in, say, under two years? I’m talking the stuff that makes you, when you meet him, be like, Oh. Em. Gee. You and me 4 eva, boy. But then six months or two years later, you’re like, “Wait. Remind me how you wound up as my boyfriend? Oh, right. I liked that we both liked that Kite Runner book.” Let’s call them weak foundations, shall we? Our shaky rationales. So before you forsake all those fish in the sea, before you accept a diamond or preemptively move in together, before you run your mouth about how this time, really!, it’s different, make sure your relationship is founded on none of the things listed below. Any number of them can, of course, be one of the many reasons you’re together. But please. I beg you. Don’t let any single one of them be the reason you’re together. Keep reading »