Disclaimer: If you’re reading this right now and have the urge to put your love interest’s pet in a pot of boiling water, stop reading and seek professional help immediately. This is not for you. This is for everyone else in the world, for we’ve all had bunny boiling moments. Please don’t even front like you’ve never behaved like an insane person in your dating life. Every single one of us, with the exception of PERFECT PEOPLE or those who are not yet old enough to have experienced temporary romantic insanity, have had off-the-richter scale embarrassing bunny boiling moments. Whether motivated by excessive drunkenness,insane jealousy, crippling insecurity, the aftermath is always the same. Mortifying. We shall not dwell on why you stalked your ex and showed up at the karaoke bar to confront him and his new girlfriend (that’s for you and your therapist to discuss), we want to talk about how to recover from the incident with your dignity intact. One incident of bunny boiling does not make you a psycho a la Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction,” it makes you a human being who made a mistake that you now need to atone for. Some suggestions after the jump. Keep reading »
Some people are good at relationships. They meet potential partners with effortless ease wherever they go—on the subway, in the elevator at work, on line at the grocery store. They strike up conversations with men in bars, get fixed up by friends, and actually enjoy (ugh!) online dating. The people they encounter are emotionally available and commitment-ready, and they sail smoothly into monogamous relationships as if on command.
And then there are those who are more relationship challenged. Mystified by how to transform a Match.com profile into a boyfriend or how to meet a guy who’s not a total commitmentphobe. You probably feel like you’re trapped in an ’80s movie, forever destined to be on the outside, looking longingly in at all the couples with their hands resting in the back pocket of each other’s acid-washed jeans. How do they do it? you wonder, as you force yourself to “put yourself out there” yet again, gritting your teeth through another brutal bout of online dating.
If the relationship you so desperately desire keeps remaining just out of reach, there may be internal blocks to intimacy standing in your way. Rather than muscling through an endless barrage of bad dates and painful, short-lived relationships, take a time out to identify any deep-seated beliefs and counter-productive patterns that could be holding you back. Click through for barriers that might be sabotaging your relationship efforts—and how to kiss them goodbye.
Jennifer Garam is a Brooklyn-based blogger, freelance writer, and teacher who writes the blogs One Writeous Chick and NotSoZen YogaJen. You can follow her on Twitter at @writeouschick.
Internet dating: isn’t it fun? It can be if know how to have fun with it. Don’t just sit back and wait for people to contact you. If you are male or female (especially if you’re female) reach out and contact the people you find attractive. It’s a whole different world of dating today.
What I tell my clients is to think of Internet dating like a huge single’s party. Let’s say you were looking around the room and someone caught your eye. You could never be sure who noticed whom first. Maybe the other person had been checking you out seconds earlier. The thing is to hook that other person’s attention and create a spark so they he or she will want to talk to you. It’s the same with the Internet. All you want to do is get the other person’s attention and make them want to know more. Read more …
There’s nothing worse than a dater with loose lips. While I totally understand the impulse to seek dating advice or share the blow-by-blow of your love life with close friends or family members, I urge you to do so with extreme caution. I strongly feel that dating should be conducted with as much dignity and discretion as one can muster. I know, it’s hard sometimes when FEELINGS are involved. Oh FEELINGS. I have ended up in too many uncomfortable situations because of my own inability to keep my mouth shut. I’ve also had the misfortune of dating a couple of dudes who had no idea how to keep our private business under wraps. So let this be a reminder to them and me and to all of you: Don’t let your FEELINGS overtake your COMMON SENSE. Think before you speak about someone you dated, especially if you have friends or colleagues in common. Not only does it make you look bad to be running your mouth and burning up Facebook and Twitter about your dating escapades, but on the off chance that it gets back to him or her (and it always does), it could really hurt someone’s FEELINGS even more. After the jump, some hard and fast rules for making sure you aren’t undatable because of your big mouth. Keep reading »
In all my dating years, I never thought much about kissing styles, and never put much weight into a great first kiss. But recently, I’ve had a couple of experiences that leave me wondering … how important is kissing compatibility?
In my opinion, most first kisses are a little awkward. I think it’s natural to need a little practice before two sets of lips can find their perfect rhythm. And I would never deny a guy a second date because he kissed outside the lines, or because we clumsily knocked teeth. (I would wonder, however … “Is his mouth just that much bigger than mine? Or, does he have very big teeth?”) Read more …
I am officially, unofficially implementing a new rule for coupled people everywhere. Please, please, please if you are spoken for, you must mention it within five minutes of having a flirty conversation with me. I am forever meeting men in social situations (I’m sure ladies do this too, so feel free to chime in guys) who will sit and talk to me for 15 minutes, half hour, sometimes even longer, will go so far as to get my number or give me theirs and wait until the very last second that we’re saying good bye to inform me that they are in a relationship or even married. On occasion, these guys have neglected to mention said girlfriend/fianceé/ wife until our first — what I believed to be — date! Come on now, people! Not cool. Keep reading »
When my friend’s husband hit on me, I wish I could say I slapped his face, told him to f**k off and stormed away. Instead, I stood there in shock. After a really awkward goodbye, I got into my car and cried. A lot. It wasn’t just the fumbling attempt at a cheap thrill. No, it was his full revelation he had newfound “sexual feelings for me.” How cringe-worthy is that statement?
His confession started with details about how long he’d been attracted to me, dirty thoughts he’d had about me and ended with him grabbing my face and trying to kiss me. All I could think about was his wife, a dear friend, and what it would mean for our friendship. In the end, it ruined it. Because when a married man hits on one of his wife’s friends, it is an altogether horrid situation. Should you ever find yourself with this problem, here are some suggestions for how to deal with it with as much dignity as possible.
Keep reading »
Last week we did a post called ’11 Signs You’re Really Falling For Him.’ We thought it only fitting to follow that up with the signs that he’s definitely falling for you. Maybe you’ve just met this guy, been friends with him for years or been dating for a a few weeks– regardless, there are telling signs that will let you know he’s really into you. Some of these seem incredibly obvious, and when they’re happening to you, there is no doubt in your mind that your man has fallen hard. However, sometimes when you’re not experiencing them, you manage to convince yourself that he’s more into you than he actually is. We’ve all been guilty at some point. Let this be your reality check. If you’re not getting the following behavior from your guy, you may want to think about where your relationship is going and if that’s a direction you’re okay with! Read more …
My dad is a very wise man. He knows when to keep his mouth shut, which is pretty much whenever it comes to my love life. On other fronts he is and always has been very vocal — even a little bit hot headed. It’s the Brooklyn in him. In high school, when I got into a kerfuffle with one of my teachers, he showed up at her office and told her to “pound sand.” He did this without my permission and I was mortified. In college, when the storage unit where I was housing my stuff for the summer tried to swindle me, he called up the owner and threatened to hang the guy “from a flagpole by his underwear.” This is my dad’s favorite threat. Apparently, he actually did this to one of his campers when he was a counselor back in high school. He’s very proud of this.
But throughout my life, while meeting various boyfriends or hearing about them, he hasn’t given a single opinion. He hasn’t told any of them to pound sand or threatened to hang a single man who screwed me over from a flagpole by his underwear (although there were probably a few who deserved it). He has remained miraculously neutral. This is why I remember the three times he offered up dating advice. And I shall recount them for you… Keep reading »
I’ve been in a relationship for a really long time, which means I haven’t technically “dated” since George W. Bush was president. Sometimes I feel a little nostalgic and curious about the dating lifestyle, but the other day, when I asked my boyfriend if it hurt when he fell from heaven, I realized there are a lot of things about dating that can — and should — translate to long-term relationships. Corny pick-up lines, for example. Here are a few more dating habits and rituals to keep in your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together… Keep reading »