You meet online. You have the same favorite book and it’s not The Fountainhead. You exchange emails multiple times a day and bond over your mutual love of cats, Frasier, and pretending you like to spend Sunday in bed with the New York Times crossword puzzle. It’s meant to be! The first date is around the corner. You’re bringing your lucky socks to the laundromat when…oops, you screw it up. They cancel the first date and now you’re dead to them. You spend Saturday night with your cat and a Frasier marathon. You use your Sunday crossword puzzle to line the litter box and spend the morning in bed, hugging your body pillow. Where did you go wrong? You may have made one of the following pre-first-date faux pas… Keep reading »
“You’re really mean to yourself,” my friend said after I’d finished listing all the ways I’d messed up a date with a guy I really liked. What did I do that I found so unacceptable? Here’s the list:
1. I didn’t offer to pay. I always offer to pay, but then I feel resentful because I don’t really want to pay and I want the guy to decline my offer, so I was just trying to experiment with letting myself feel treated. But now he probably thinks I’m using him and just in it for a free meal!
2.I botched the kiss goodnight moment. He went in for the kiss and I kissed him on the cheek, then gushed about what a great time I had to overcompensate for the missed kiss, then jumped out of his car. Because I wanted to kiss him, but I also wanted to take it slow, but I was nervous, and could I have been more horribly awkward?!
3. I talked about an ex. Absolutely unforgivable!!! Why, why, why did I do this??? Keep reading »
His teeny little profile picture was cute. He was the right age range and city. But when I opened the online dating message from this random dude, this is what he said:
Isn’t feminism a little obsolete? Men and women are equal nowadays. In fact, the balance is tipped in your favor.
Of all the things for a man to comment upon in my profile, he chose to kinda-insulted me by calling my belief system “obsolete”? I rolled my eyes. I hit delete. Another one bites the dust.
I’d been “negged.” Keep reading »
Single this Valentine’s Day? Then perhaps you’ll be interested in this advice from an eHarmony senior director. Grant Langston tells Time the five most overused, meaningless phrases you should take off your online dating profile right now. Read more…
It’s often thought that Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday for single people. But not if you have a crappy boyfriend! Then Valentine’s Day can suck major balls. Like, take the time I was dating Jason*. We’d been together for several months, and prepared for our first V-Day together. I am not a particularly materialistic kind of lady and often paid the bill on our dates, but I like a little romance. Even though I am hyper feminist, I do feel like Valentine’s Day is the one time of year when you are supposed to shower a little extra love on your lady. Though Jason was typically rather analytical (bordering on anal) and tight-fisted, I figured the holiday would be my one night of being wined and dined. We went to a nice Greek restaurant, and he ordered the most expensive dish on the menu — a fish dish coming in at more than $20. I ordered a less expensive pasta dish. But when the bill came, my anal retentive boyfriend split the bill — down to the tax. I was majorly annoyed. He didn’t want to treat me, but he was willing to spend big bucks on himself, and that’s when I knew I’d never really be a priority with this dude.
So that’s my worst Valentine’s Day. Share yours in the comments!
*names have been changed to protect the utterly craptastic
When a friend of mine who’s dipping her toe back into the world of online dating recently asked for three quick rules to remember when emailing potential matches, it occurred to me that if she needed a bit of a refresher course, some of you probably do too. After all, as convenient as it is, email is rife with opportunities to shoot yourself in the foot and hurt your shot at making a real connection. So after the jump, eight dos and don’ts to remember when emailing a potential online dating match. Keep reading »
Your passive-aggressive aunt bought you a Match.com subscription for Christmas. While your first impulse was to hit her with a brick, you’ve always been curious about online dating. “What the heck?” you figure. “I’ll write an ad and take a look around.” But when you’re on your own in virtual reality, the search for computer-generated love can be daunting. Here are the top online dating types to avoid. Keep reading »
Locking lips. Making out. Smooching. Kissing. It sounds so pleasant and easy, yet do a little research and you’ll soon discover that while everyone may be doing it, few are doing it well. For your edification, I have rounded up the different varieties of bad kissers and broken them down by the traits they share with members of the animal kingdom.
Keep reading »
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Oh my god, he’s the one!,” within hours, days, or mere weeks after meeting a new guy? The trouble is, when you fall hard and fast, you aren’t really falling for him, because you don’t even know him- yet. Instead, you’re falling for the ideal man in your head, who you’re hoping he’ll be. Keep reading »
So, you’re in your hometown for Thanksgiving break. And you’re already bored … like, super bored. Or you’re out and about, and after three (or seven) Bud Lights at your hometown bar, you’re feeling nostalgic for that old flame. Who knew how handsome the kid who used to pull your hair would get? Why not smooch them a little bit? You’re a grownup — you’re allowed!
Just. Don’t. Don’t do it. Because like most great ideas, you will regret it. Here, heed our words for the five folks NOT to hook up with while you’re home for the holiday. Keep reading »