Tag Archives: dating donts

Dating Don’ts: Why You’re Still Single

I’ve been writing relationship advice for nearly ten years now and the number-one question I get asked—by readers and friends alike—isn’t anything filthy or even fun. It is: “How come I can’t meet anyone?”

Depending on your situation, there are a variety of answers to this question, but mostly, finding someone to tongue wrestle with on a regular basis comes down to a combination of luck and timing. That said, there are things you can do to ensure that you never even come close to falling in love. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How To Avoid Becoming That Annoying Coupled-Up Person

The two of you are inseparable. You’re every romantic comedy cliché come to life. He’s the cream in your coffee. The Jim to your Pam—not that you even remember who they are, because with all the lovemaking, you hardly have time to waste on sitcoms like “The Office.”

When you’re not busy rutting, you spend hours just staring at each other, marveling at your good fortune. Everything reminds you of him and you can’t stop talking about how fantastically happy you are. In fact, you’re so busy, you probably haven’t even noticed that, except for calls from your shmoopie, your phone has stopped ringing. (Unless it’s your mom calling to wonder if you’re finally going to squeeze out some grandchildren for her.)

But your friends? They seem to have disappeared. In the haze of your love drunkenness, you might believe this is because they’re jealous. But more likely it’s because you’ve become one of the “smug marrieds” from Bridget Jones’ Diary—a book I loathed, but she sure got that part right. And you’re not even married. Yet. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Know Your Textiquette

Texting has become as ubiquitous as the cell phones that birthed them, but what is it doing to our love lives? Can you imagine what a different movie “Casablanca” would be if, instead of suavely growling, “Here’s looking at you, kid,” Rick instead texted Ilsa:

; – )

Same sentiment (sort of), yet all the romance, sexiness and possibility has been drained out of it. Keep reading »

7 Ways Men Try To Impress Women (And Why They Don’t Work)

Phil was right. Women do a lot of silly thing to impress men, most of which involve some sort of chemical substance that can be spritzed or slathered. But he was also correct that women are not alone in their misguided attempts to impress the opposite sex. Men are just as guilty — if not more so, as there’s possibly more pressure on men to impress — of doing all the wrong things to win over a date. Here are a few… Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Trying To Change A Man Is A Waste Of Time

A gaggle of girlfriends and I were sitting around drinking beer and bitching about our crappy love lives one late night when my buddy Marguerite shared something a wise relative had once told her: “The three most dangerous words a woman can say are ‘He has potential.’” Maybe I’m not very bright, but that stopped me in my tracks. How many times had I overlooked the bouquet of red flags a guy had been holding in front of his face and, instead of seeing the actual person, saw what he might turn into? The answer is too many. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How Much Is Too Much Information?

I still remember the confused look on my date’s face as I self-consciously blurted out, apropos of nothing, “I’ve just lost seven pounds on Weight Watchers and I intend to lose 15 more!”

With that I stifled a burp, plunked down my pint glass and realized that we (meaning, he) had been talking about his band, not my tummy bulge. But who could blame me? Weight Watchers assigns each food a points value and you’re only allowed a certain amount each day. I’d been hoarding all of mine for our date. (Beer is three points a bottle!) I was a little woozy.

But not too woozy to note that I’d become that most embarrassing of daters — the oversharer. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Making Over A Badly Dressed Boy

I once dated a guy who clothed himself almost exclusively in band t-shirts, pleated trousers, and an ever-present fanny pack. (And no, he wasn’t a German tourist.) I remember thinking when we met that I’d finally cast eyes upon the archetypal rock critic. That he actually was a rock critic made the experience all the richer. Because he was smart, funny and cute-ish, I chose to overlook his sartorial missteps and we quickly fell in love. But despite my best efforts—including renaming the fanny pack his “colostomy bag”—I never could convince him to spiff up. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Four Signs He’s Not The One

Romantic Gestures
These 7 things will make her swoon! Guys, take note. Read More »
How I Knew
How did you know he WASN'T The One? Read More »
Definitely NOT The One
25 signs "The One" ain't him... Read More »

OK, first of all, let me make it clear that I don’t believe in the concept of “the one.” I think each of us has more like the “top 40” or even “winning 100,” depending on how much ground you cover. But even in a world brimming with possibilities, at some point in our lives most of us have found ourselves infatuated with a guy who was just completely wrong for us. Not that he was necessarily a bad guy—he was just a dude we should’ve relegated to fling territory instead of fooling ourselves into thinking had long-term potential.

Here are a few factors that may give you a case of the stupids… Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How To Say No!

Last weekend at a party, I noticed a toad-like man attaching himself to a beautiful, talented friend of mine. Not only was she way out of his league, looks-wise, but as I eavesdropped I discovered he was one of those dudes who delivers endless monologues instead of engaging in actual conversations.

Ladies, I think we’ve all been stuck with that guy. This time it was my friend’s turn. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Helping A Friend Who’s Being Hit

“Why does she stay?” is the question most often asked when we hear about someone involved in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the least helpful things you can say to a woman caught up in this cycle. So what can we do to help when we suspect a friend is being battered?

Several years ago, project manager Jenny found herself in that position when she noticed a new friend was covered in bruises. “I told her flat-out that I had seen the bruises and that I was concerned,” Jenny says via email. “I told her that I didn’t know if she needed help or someone to talk to, but that she could call me any time, day or night.” Keep reading »

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