Little white lies. Big gnawing secrets. In relationships, we all keep certain thing from our significant others -- even if we don't think we do. Sure, there may be a few among us who put it all out on the table, but relationships are tricky, and sometimes not letting it all hang out is for the best. The trick is figuring out what to tell and when to keep your mouth shut. From sexual history to credit card debt, opening one's personal Pandora's box can make it or break it in love. So we've gotta ask ...

Whether you’re starting a new relationship or already married, there are some things that don’t change, like the need to feel sexy, appreciated and needed. And it’s not just women who want these things—men do too! Below are seven things you can say to a man, at any stage of your love life, that will leave him glowing.

Single adulthood used to be a brief moment between adolescence and marriage. Today, according to one study, the median age of a first marriage is rising for both men and women, and singles make up 41 percent of American adults 18 and older.

When I was in high school, one of my friends was the most sought-after girl in school. I had other friends that were prettier, smarter, and nicer but boys were crazy for her.

It took me a little while, but I finally figured out why she was constantly asked out, in a relationship or every guy’s dream girl. She was approachable.

“Recently my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend has been going through some financially hard times. He still has his job but some other really difficult things have happened to him that would make anyone want to run and hide. He decided to face these problems head-on but it’s been incredibly stressful, and just recently I found out he had cheated on me. The last two months of our two years together had been the hardest and it was like he was no longer the man I fell in love with. Now that I have confronted him he said that he would do everything in his power to turn things around, get his life together, and then try and win me back

What I want to know is can you ever get over being cheated on?  I know it’s very easy to say kick him to the curb, there are more fish in the sea, but I truly want to know if anyone has made a relationship work after someone has not been faithful.”

See my reply after the jump.

Most of you probably Google a date’s name before you go out with him — some of you probably Google his name before you AGREE to go out with him (I know I would)—but how many of you Google a date’s email address? If you think that’s a crazy idea, too stalker-ish or whatever, have I got a cautionary tale for you! Recently, a friend of mine we’ll call “Angie” met a guy she thought might hit it off with her roommate — we’ll call her “Sheila” — and set about putting them in touch. “But I’m actually attracted to you,” the guy said to Angie, to which she replied honestly that she was already seeing someone and, besides, he wasn’t really her type anyway (he’s heavily tattooed and pierced — something she’s not into, but her roomie is). “Fine,” he said, “But will your roommate put me in my place like you will?” Angie assured him that Sheila was no doormat and would put him in his place if need be. “And you told her what I look like?” He asked. Angie assured him that she told Sheila about his tattoos and piercings and that she was totally fine with it.

As you Frisky readers know, I’ve had a bumpy ride as a single gal. Unfortunately, it was a stroll down memory lane to share with you the 12 signs the man you’re dating is a loser. But that doesn’t mean a girl can’t be a dud, too! Case in point? “Megan Wants a Millionaire.” For all you Frisky guy readers, check out my 13 signs that you may be dating a loser! Then, lose her.

My 85-year-old Grandma has got some serious game and an even hotter love life than me. Still dating in her golden years, my grams finally settled down and moved in with her sexy new boyfriend. He’s 94, also a Holocaust survivor, and a total charmer. They spend the winters at her condo in Boca (that’s Boca Raton, Florida, natch), and the summers at his place in New York. So, while she’s in town, I took the opportunity to ask my own personal dating guru to share her secrets with us Frisky gals. Here’s what Grandma’s got to say about the best places to meet men, masturbation, sex back in the day, and porn addiction. What, you think I’d let her get off easy?

Got a question for Simcha’s grandma? Email grandma@thefrisky.com—no topic is off-limits for this silver fox!

I just got stood up. It’s sad, but true. Worst of all, it was finally the sex date. Double burn. I don’t know why this last dude left me waiting. My guess is he was either called back into spy service by the FBI or mauled by a tiger. Fingers crossed it was the latter. Just kidding. Sort of. But couldn’t he at least have had the balls to dump me, instead of just leaving me hanging? Sigh.

Unfortunately, for some reason, I get stood up a lot. I’m kind of a pro at it by now. It all started back in high school when my date ditched me the night of my senior prom. And a couple years ago, I spent a Valentine’s Day alone on my sofa in a new red dress crying to Ben & Jerry. (Although that did inspire me to make this music mix, “You Can’t F*#& The Hole In My Heart.”) So, as you can see, I’m an expert with what you should do with the night you had saved for a man who doesn’t show up to share it. Here are some options and outcomes in a handy-dandy flowchart. (CLICK HERE to see it on a larger scale.) Notice, I don’t recommend bitching him out. I’m classy like that. And you obvi have better things to do too, girl!

Yesterday, I did an interview with CNN Live about Leonora Epstein’s article, “Automatic Online Dating Dealbreakers.” (You can watch it after the jump, if you’re so inclined, but please know the style department will be doing more about my hideous under-eye circles and lighting the next time around.) That same day, Julia Allison, blogging “sexpert,” was on MTV’s “It’s On With Alexa Chung” discussing the similar, but broader topic of dating in the realm of new media – texting, Facebook, online dating, etc. You can watch the segment above. She had five tips prepared for Alexa and then provided two others prompted by viewer questions. Some of her tips I could get behind, while the others kind of blew my mind. I’ll give it to you straight, after the jump…

Dear Gentlemen,

When you know you don’t want to see me anymore, I need you to do me a favor: be an adult and dump me. Don’t text me pretending that you want to reschedule when you flake out on our plans, don’t promise you’ll call me later if you’re not gonna, don’t ask for my number if you have no intention of ever calling me, etc. If I wanted to date someone who mastered the disappearing act, I’d have schtooped a magician. But I didn’t, I dated/boyfriended/made out with/dry humped on the dance floor/flirted with you. Now, I need you to breakup with me.

It’s a rough and tumble world out there, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Many of us as children were taught to follow the Ten Commandments, or some version of it, in order to ensure that we become good people or “Leave It To Beaver” neighbors. I can’t remember them all off the top of my head, and it would take a real minor miracle for me to recite them all in order, but in general you can’t go terribly wrong following them…except when it comes to dating. Maybe the commandments were never intended to cover the tricky navigation of romance, but when you apply the Ten Commandments to dating…oh what a mess you find yourself in!

Yesterday I wrote Advice For The Vertically Challenged and was surprised by some of the comments. Many quite fairly pointed out that perhaps my definition of “short” should be revised, or that I should be clear that just because I feel short at 5’ 5” does not make this height or anything bellow it qualify as “short.” What really struck a chord with me, however, were comments concerning height differences when it comes to dating. I started thinking about my own reasons for feeling short and realized that it was mostly due to the fact that most of the men I have dated have been at least six feet tall. Hmmm, I wonder…

Single women can learn a lot about dating from Michelle Obama, but one guy advises black women to take a different route than Michelle did, before another man passes them by. Most of his advice is logical. Some of it, I have to admit, I’m not ready to hear and probably never will be.

Michelle Obama has been our first lady for just over seven months, and she’s already been attributed with making a positive contribution to the U.S. fashion industry, along with advocating on behalf of military families and more. Now, Jenee Desmond-Harris writes on The Root that Michelle is a role model for single women.

Please help, I can’t tell who the true top in my relationship is! I’m an Aquarian woman (2/6/72, 3:51 pm, Providence, RI) who has been dating a Virgo man (9/11/66, 1:59 am, Concord, NH) for four months. He told me he loved me within a week of dating, and has not hidden the fact that he would love to get married. We slept together on the first date, even though he has only been with a couple of women and claims to be very against casual hookups (I admit to seducing him). We are both extremely kinky, and have great sexual chemistry. 

My question involves which one of us is really the top. I’m an extremely dominant female, and he is very much the man’s man. While he seems to love his rightful place underneath me, sometimes he turns the tables on me out of the blue and pulls rank as the man of the house. I like both apparent sides to his personality coin, but I do worry that perhaps he’s allowing me to do things he doesn’t enjoy because he cares for me so much. I sense a hidden romantic under his tough exterior. I’m also already married to a woman, and although they have always known about each other (my wife and I are polyamorous), he does get jealous at times and I wonder if he will eventually push me to choose him or her. —Aroused Aquarian

“I’m a Libra woman (10/01/85) dating a Gemini woman (05/30/86). We started as friends, but then developed an attraction to each other. I’m a lesbian, but she made all the first moves, even though she identified as straight. She introduced herself, gave me her phone number, invited me over, asked me to be her girlfriend, etc. I feel like I can’t trust her because she has a lot of guy ‘friends,’ some are closer then others. When I try to get intimate with her, she pulls away and says, ‘If I let you, that’s when things will get crazy and I’ll want you all the time.’

I’m a virgin and I feel like she is having sex with other people. I tried talking to her about it, but she says it’s not all about sex. She always talks about herself and hardly anyone knows we’re together. I like her a lot, but I feel she could care less, though she claims to. I’m lost. Help!” —Lost Libra

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of advice. Solicited, unsolicited, much of it from female friends, most of it contradictory. Many of my female friends are in relationships, including my four closest girl friends, two of whom are married and two who are headed in that direction. They all are living vicariously through my “dating adventures,” though I’ve tried to tell them that it’s about as exciting as a bowl of oatmeal.

People give advice based on their own experiences. What works for them has got to work for you too, right? Like following a cake recipe, if you follow the right steps, you’ll get the end result you want. Except dating is nothing like baking and there’s no “right” way when it comes to matters of the heart. I watched “He’s Just Not That Into You” this weekend (out tomorrow on DVD) and if there’s a takeaway from that movies it’s this: everyone has a dating tale that is an exception to another person’s rule. Which is why all of the advice I’ve been getting has been making my head spin.

Britney was sued by her former bodyguard, Kerry Vine, for “negligently operat[ing] her home.” Vine claimed the work he was forced to perform at her Los Angeles estate caused him to sustain physical injuries. [TMZ]—We’re hoping “physical injuries” isn’t a euphemism for “coke addiction.”

Meghan McCain talked sex and gay marriage with Colbert last night. [Jezebel]—Props to McCain, who proved to be a bit vapid, but sweet and surprisingly open-minded.

Photoshop allowed Obama to transform into a “trekkie” for the day—or for however long you keep these photos as your screensaver. [Urlesque]—Sorry, Pres, but you can’t compete with Chris Pine.

 

 

 

“I’m a Scorpio (11/9/84 at 3:08pm) and the guy in question is a Pisces (3/15/84 at 4:26pm). I met him three years ago, and we dated for nine months. We ended up breaking up because he wasn’t able to juggle school, work, friendships and a girlfriend. Since then we have stayed really good friends. Last summer, after about 19 months, we started hooking up again, no strings attached. The problem is, I have been in love with him since the beginning. We both admit there is some strong connection between us, but I’m confused. He stated once before that he was afraid to get back with me because he didn’t want it to end badly and ruin our friendship. We often get into fights that are beyond heated and passionate, only to be fine with each other a few hours later, even if one of us has said we are walking away forever. Things have recently become more confusing since he started hooking up with a much older Gemini woman. Are we a match that will eventually work out when he gets over himself or am I wasting my breath?” —Optimistic Scorpio