Tag Archives: dater x

Dater X: Sunny With A Chance Of Second Date Disasters

Dater X: Sunny With A Chance Of Second Date Disasters

Despite various warnings never to go out for sushi on a first date, when Officer Handsoming suggested it, knowing it’s one of my favorites (another tidbit he picked up from actually reading my OKCupid profile), I accepted. Possible fish breath and all.

He got to the restaurant just before me and greeted me with a warm hug and a sexy smile. He wasn’t joking about the “handsoming” thing; I liked what I saw. He was dressed in suede boots, dark jeans and a fitted, red, plaid flannel shirt, he looked like a super hot lumberjack — strong, sturdy and stylish. My kind of guy.

When he ordered us an appetizer of Dragon Eggs (four eggs with raw white fish and crunchies on the inside, wrapped in a layer of avocado), I just kept thinking, How the hell I can eat these things gracefully? Each egg was about the size of my fist. I knew that cutting into the egg with the only utensils I had— my chopsticks— would make the fish squirt out the sides leaving a giant mess all over my plate, and probably my face. Point taken about the dangers of eating sushi on a first date.  Keep reading »

Dater X: What You See Is What You Get

Dater X: What You See Is What You Get

It gives me great pleasure to inform you that I HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND.

I was so busy complaining about being stuck in the single slog, that I failed to mention I’ve been casually chatting with a nice gentleman on OKCupid. I try not to get my hopes up these days, and wasn’t even sure our conversation was going to go anywhere, but one thing led to another and bam — we’re meeting on Saturday at 7 p.m.

Despite my I Give Up On This Shit attitude about online dating, I saw a message come through my inbox a few weeks back that wasn’t the usual “Damn baby, you lookin’ good,” or “Sup girl?” So I took a peek.

“The first thing I noticed was your smile,” he wrote. “A beautiful one like yours stands out from the crowd. Now what kinds of horror stories have you heard by opening yourself up to that question?”

He was responding to the part of my profile where I opted to ask guys what they first noticed about me, rather than answering the question myself. Not only was his compliment well received, but his counter question suggested he actually read my profile. He made it past the pictures and the desire to message me something stupid just because I have boobs. He was interested in me. Refreshing. Keep reading »

Dater X: When The Single Slog Sets In

Dater X: When The Single Slog Sets In

I’m just going to come out and say it: I can’t stomach being single anymore.

With the exception of a few men who’ve come and gone, lasting only a few weeks here and a few months there, I’ve been dating unsuccessfully for about four years now. There have been periods of time where I’ve sworn off men completely, refusing to date or so much as look at my OKCupid notifications. I’ve also engaged in the opposite behavior, juggling multiple dudes at a time, hoping one of them would turn out to be worth continuing to date. I’ve gone through bouts of depression, seeking therapy to help me move on from past relationships (Thanks, Patrick Bateman!). But the hardest part of it all has been remaining confident in the knowledge that, despite the evidence to the contrary, I have a ton of love to offer someone and should never settle for anything less than a wonderful guy. Keep reading »

Dater X: A Thanksgiving Wish List For My Future Partner

Dater X: A Thanksgiving Wish List For My Future Partner

Right around this time every year I start to sulk, wondering why I’m still single and asking myself if it’s really necessary for the folks over at Kay Jewelers to inundate us with sappy commercials every two and a half minutes. I usually cope by drowning my dark thoughts in turkey and extra large glasses of cabernet … but not this year.

This year, as Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve decided to stop dwelling on my singledom, and instead, come up with a little wish list for the man who (I hope) will one day pull up a seat beside me at my family’s Thanksgiving feast. That man, whoever he may be, is gonna have a lot of tests to pass. I hope he’s up for the challenge: Keep reading »

Dater X: Mourning Friends And Family After A Breakup

Dater X: Mourning Friends And Family After A Breakup

After a relationship ends, you prepare yourself for hard nights missing the other person. Your friends comfort you by telling you someone else out there is even better for you, and that happiness is just around the corner. But no one prepares you for the loss of the people who come with the breakup; the innocent bystanders left in the dust. What happens to them? Friendships end and family ties are severed, all with the understanding that it would make things easier. But does it?

Last night, my sister called to tell me that my ex-boyfriend’s mother passed away— a woman who I was very fond of and close to for the more than three years I dated her son, Pete.*  Keep reading »

Dater X: Dating Outside Your Race When You Have A Racist Parent

Dater X: Dating Outside Your Race When You Have A Racist Parent

When I arrived at work the other day, there was an unread message in my inbox from a coworker with the subject line “Would It Be Weird If…”

I clicked on the message, eager to discover the second half of her cliffhanger. The email said:

Would it be weird if I tried to set you up with a friend? His name is Rishi* (he’s Indian) and he’s really nice and attractive and funny.

My first thought wasn’t Oh God, not another doomed setup. Nor was it, Finally! Someone who I didn’t meet on OKCupid. Instead, it was, But my dad would never approve. Keep reading »

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