It went as perfectly perfect as a breakup could go, I suppose.
Only a few days after my last Dater X post, when I told you all about my hopes of moving things forward with Andrew, he came over to my place to hang out and, without warning, dropped a bomb on me. As usual, we made small talk for a while, chatting about our weekend plans and jobs, and worked our way into my bedroom. Mid-makeout session, I reached down to unzip his jeans, when his hand grabbed mine and pushed it to the side— a suspicious move for not having seen each other in a week. He sat upright, looked me in the eye and said, “Before we do this, there are some things on my mind that I think we should talk about.”
In that moment, I was sure he was going to tell me he wanted us to be exclusive, and ask me if I felt the same way. Keep reading »
I’m sure you’re all wondering what happened with the whole Andrew/Marky Mark situation, and I’m going to get to that—I promise. But before I do, I want to thank those of you who left insightful, kind, constructive criticism about my dilemma on last week’s Dater X post. While some opinions were a bit harsh (damn, y’all, I have feelings), I still read all of your advice, followed my heart, and was able to approach the situation having really, really thought about what my actions might mean. Your feedback also forced me to dissect my feelings for Andrew and look at the possible implications of what might happen if I followed through with meeting Marky Mark. You may or may not agree with how things played out, but at the end of the day, the only person I have to answer to is myself. Keep reading »
For the first time in a while, I feel like I’m entering into a relationship at a healthy, comfortable pace. Things with Andrew are exactly where they should be: we’re becoming more open with each other emotionally and physically, we’ve met each other’s friends (and I’ve even met some of his family members), we continue to learn more about each other every day, and, to put it simply, we’re both happy. Though our almost-two-month courtship hasn’t yet been defined and “the talk” still remains to be had, I’m trying to hold off on having that conversation until I’m 100 percent sure that a relationship with Andrew is what I want. I’ve been stuck in Exclusivity Limbo before and usually take the proactive approach to finding out where things stand by this point in the game, but I’m glad I haven’t done that yet. When a coworker of mine asked me last week if I’m ready to be exclusive with Andrew, I said yes without hesitation, and meant it. I’m happy with him and excited about where things are headed, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Since then, though, a friend’s efforts to hook me up with someone else have given me a case of the “what ifs,” and it’s got me questioning my situation with Andrew. Keep reading »
I’ve always been told that true love will find you when you’re least expecting it. I’ve always thought that was a load of bullshit. Like I’m supposed to believe that right after you, for example, decide to ease up on your hunt for a soulmate and embrace your single status, a guy who noticed you on OKCupid will pop up at your local bar, introduce himself and boom—a month and a half later you’ll be inseparable? HAHA, yeah right. Except, that’s what’s happened. Though the unexpected “love” hasn’t quite happened yet, it’s safe to say I’m very much in “like.” I’ve been seeing Andrew for awhile now, so I feel it’s only appropriate I give you all a status update on our “situation”; a State of the Union, if you will. Keep reading »
To say I was shocked when I saw my ex-boyfriend Don’s name pop up on my phone last month is an understatement. But since then, we’ve been casually chatting, exchanging text messages here and there and rekindling our friendship. As difficult as it was not having him around for a while, I can now sleep easy knowing that his heart is no longer shattering into cookie crumbles every time we speak.
Last week, I was so concerned when I found out about my new guy Andrew’s hot, dancer ex-girlfriend, that the potential threat of my own ex resurfacing hadn’t even dawned on me— at least not until Don called me and suggested a visit. Realistically, Don is the only one of my ex-boyfriends who could jeopardize one of my relationships. Patrick Bateman is married (and nuts), Officer Handsoming was bland, GQ ghosted me, and so on. So, obviously, just as I’m getting to know Andrew, Don would come back in the picture. Hesitantly, I asked Don if he was sure about getting together since he’s spent the better part of the last year trying to get over me.
“If I wasn’t ready to see you, I wouldn’t have suggested it,” he replied matter-of-factly, and that was that. I knew I wanted to see him, too. Keep reading »
It’s been a month to the day since I met Andrew, my surprisingly charming OKCupid run-in who recognized me and introduced himself out at a bar. We’ve been hanging out pretty consistently over the last few weeks, going on dates every few days, and continuing to get to know each other. I can honestly say that the hesitations I had about his height when we first started seeing each other have subsided, and I’ve been able to tap into the real Andrew: his hopes, his dreams, his demons … and unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend.
Andrew and I were talking on the phone one night last week when his most recent ex casually came up in conversation. Without hesitation, I blurted out: “What happened between you two, by the way?” Upon realizing what I’d just asked him, I apologized for my bluntness and told him that I totally understood if he didn’t want to go into the story of his failed relationship. To my surprise, he wasn’t offended at all and gladly told me the tale of their fallout. In a nutshell, after several years of dating, Andrew and his ex moved in together and hit a rough patch when their dynamic completely changed. They went from a happily-in-love duo to bickering strangers in a matter of months. I’ve heard about couples who move in together and pretty quickly realize that they’re not as compatible as they thought, but I’ve never actually known anyone it’s happened to. Apparently, despite all of their efforts to work through their problems, they’d hit a point of no return. He ultimately ended things with her, leaving both of them understandably devastated. Apparently, he’d even set aside money for an engagement ring.
“But that’s the past, and I’m ready for the future now,” he told me. I was so grateful that Andrew felt comfortable enough to open up to me about his ex, and I recognized that my curiosity about it in the first place meant only one thing: I’m really starting to like this guy. But there was one problem… Keep reading »