Last week, I came at you with the most depressing “Dater X” ever. I was feeling sad, and lonely, not to mention disappointed after realizing that Brown Eyes and I don’t have relationship potential after all. As I pressed send on that last column, I asked myself a question: Would you rather have met someone a few months after your last long-term relationship ended, and not have done the dating life for the past few years?
My first answer was: Duh, of course! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t actually true. I’ve learned a whole freaking lot in the past few years as a single woman—about myself, about people, and about the nature of relationships. I wouldn’t give that up. Keep reading »
I spotted Brown Eyes across the street, leaning against a wall outside the restaurant. He looked adorable in his thick scarf, fiddling with his iPod. As I walked up, he smiled and greeted me with a sweet kiss on the lips. It was the kind of hello we’ve never given each other before—after all, for the past two years we’ve been just friends. “This date is gonna be good,” I thought.
Cut to an hour and a half later. Keep reading »
I looked at his profile before I read the email he sent—a rookie online dating mistake. The guy in the photos looked highly attractive—green eyes, a shaved head, a strong, square jaw line, and an impeccable sense of style. In his answers to the cheesy profile questions, he managed to seem funny and charming. I had a good feeling as I finally opened the email he’d sent me.
“Hey gorgeous. Ran across your profile, and you are so my type it’s scary. Hope you don’t mind that I am picturing you naked. You into something casual? Think we’d have mind blowing sex.”
Keep reading »
Last Wednesday morning, at approximately 10 a.m., I typed an email to my friend, Brown Eyes. I noticed as I was writing that it was taking me an unusually long amount of time to compose a four-sentence email to a friend I talk to at least a few times a week. I also noticed that I was deleting an awful lot of sentences and rewriting them from scratch, trying to make each line just that much more clever.
I hit send, and immediately felt anxious. Five minutes later, I logged back into Gmail, hoping to see a bold line in my inbox highlighted with his response. Naturally, there was only spam.
I checked my email again at 10:10. And again at 10:12. And then it dawned on me: do I have a crush on Brown Eyes? Keep reading »
“Dump them both!” exclaimed Sabrina, taking a sip of a gin and tonic before brushing her lush black hair out of her eyes. I’d just told her about the same dilemma I presented you guys with last week—that I was dating two guys and not feeling that into either of them. “Trust me, I know what it’s like to feel blah about guy after guy. And then to get rejected by the few you do feel something for. I did it for years, too,” she continued. “But someday you’re going to stumble into the wrong bar, spill your drink on someone, and your whole life will change.”
I should probably give you a bit of Sabrina’s back story. Keep reading »
“It’s like in ‘Rushmore’ when Bill Murray cannonballs into the pool,” I said to Goldilocks, as we sat on a park bench watching a middle-aged man run through a field of sunbathers, barely noticing that he was almost stepping on people’s heads.
“I’ve never seen that movie,” Goldilocks said.
“Wait, I thought you said it was your favorite,” I responded, specifically remembering a conversation we’d had about the Wes Anderson classic a week ago.
“Nope, never seen it,” he said, shaking his head. “And that honor would belong to ‘Ghostbusters.’”
I laughed, but also felt vaguely crazy. And then I remembered the “Rushmore” conversation. It wasn’t with Goldilocks. It was with Band T-Shirt—the other guy I’m dating. Oops. Keep reading »