Tag Archives: dater x

Dater X: What You See Is What You Get

Dater X: What You See Is What You Get

It gives me great pleasure to inform you that I HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND.

I was so busy complaining about being stuck in the single slog, that I failed to mention I’ve been casually chatting with a nice gentleman on OKCupid. I try not to get my hopes up these days, and wasn’t even sure our conversation was going to go anywhere, but one thing led to another and bam — we’re meeting on Saturday at 7 p.m.

Despite my I Give Up On This Shit attitude about online dating, I saw a message come through my inbox a few weeks back that wasn’t the usual “Damn baby, you lookin’ good,” or “Sup girl?” So I took a peek.

“The first thing I noticed was your smile,” he wrote. “A beautiful one like yours stands out from the crowd. Now what kinds of horror stories have you heard by opening yourself up to that question?”

He was responding to the part of my profile where I opted to ask guys what they first noticed about me, rather than answering the question myself. Not only was his compliment well received, but his counter question suggested he actually read my profile. He made it past the pictures and the desire to message me something stupid just because I have boobs. He was interested in me. Refreshing. Keep reading »

Dater X: When The Single Slog Sets In

Dater X: When The Single Slog Sets In

I’m just going to come out and say it: I can’t stomach being single anymore.

With the exception of a few men who’ve come and gone, lasting only a few weeks here and a few months there, I’ve been dating unsuccessfully for about four years now. There have been periods of time where I’ve sworn off men completely, refusing to date or so much as look at my OKCupid notifications. I’ve also engaged in the opposite behavior, juggling multiple dudes at a time, hoping one of them would turn out to be worth continuing to date. I’ve gone through bouts of depression, seeking therapy to help me move on from past relationships (Thanks, Patrick Bateman!). But the hardest part of it all has been remaining confident in the knowledge that, despite the evidence to the contrary, I have a ton of love to offer someone and should never settle for anything less than a wonderful guy. Keep reading »

Dater X: A Thanksgiving Wish List For My Future Partner

Dater X: A Thanksgiving Wish List For My Future Partner

Right around this time every year I start to sulk, wondering why I’m still single and asking myself if it’s really necessary for the folks over at Kay Jewelers to inundate us with sappy commercials every two and a half minutes. I usually cope by drowning my dark thoughts in turkey and extra large glasses of cabernet … but not this year.

This year, as Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve decided to stop dwelling on my singledom, and instead, come up with a little wish list for the man who (I hope) will one day pull up a seat beside me at my family’s Thanksgiving feast. That man, whoever he may be, is gonna have a lot of tests to pass. I hope he’s up for the challenge: Keep reading »

Dater X: Mourning Friends And Family After A Breakup

Dater X: Mourning Friends And Family After A Breakup

After a relationship ends, you prepare yourself for hard nights missing the other person. Your friends comfort you by telling you someone else out there is even better for you, and that happiness is just around the corner. But no one prepares you for the loss of the people who come with the breakup; the innocent bystanders left in the dust. What happens to them? Friendships end and family ties are severed, all with the understanding that it would make things easier. But does it?

Last night, my sister called to tell me that my ex-boyfriend’s mother passed away— a woman who I was very fond of and close to for the more than three years I dated her son, Pete.*  Keep reading »

Dater X: Dating Outside Your Race When You Have A Racist Parent

Dater X: Dating Outside Your Race When You Have A Racist Parent

When I arrived at work the other day, there was an unread message in my inbox from a coworker with the subject line “Would It Be Weird If…”

I clicked on the message, eager to discover the second half of her cliffhanger. The email said:

Would it be weird if I tried to set you up with a friend? His name is Rishi* (he’s Indian) and he’s really nice and attractive and funny.

My first thought wasn’t Oh God, not another doomed setup. Nor was it, Finally! Someone who I didn’t meet on OKCupid. Instead, it was, But my dad would never approve. Keep reading »

Dater X: Surviving The Wedding And Baby Phase Of Life When You’re Single

Dater X: Surviving The Wedding And Baby Phase Of Life When You're Single

This morning on my way into work, I hopped on Facebook to see what was happening in the world— and instantly, I regretted it.

The first thing I saw on my newsfeed was an album from a college friend’s bachelorette party. That’s nice, I thought, as I looked at the pictures of her all drunk and smiley. And then I remembered how she cheated (a couple of times) on her soon-to-be husband when we were seniors. She covered  her tracks and her boyfriend never found out. Having been played by Patrick Bateman, my own feelings of anger began to surface as I scrolled through photo after photo of her in her pink veil. She was finally getting her happy ending, but in my eyes, her relationship was a sham. I continued to scroll down the page, in search of something that didn’t annoy me.

Surprise! An engagement. A high school girlfriend of mine was proposed to over the weekend in a pumpkin patch. How fall of her fiancé. Letters forming the question “Will you marry me?” were carved into lit-up pumpkins. I have to admit, it was very cute. She inset a photo of her engagement ring over a snapshot of the pumpkins to announce the news. I always found her to be a bit high-strung, but hey. She found someone who loves her enough to carve 15 jack o’ lanterns, so this means there’s still hope for me. I kept moving through my newsfeed. Keep reading »

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