Tag Archives: dater x

Dater X: Missing Him Or Missing The Idea Of Him?

Dater-X--Missing-Him-Or-Missing-The-Idea-Of-Him

Well, I successfully made it through Valentine’s Day without needing Xanax or calling an ex-boyfriend, so I’d say it was a great success. But before I headed out on February 14th for a singles’ feast and game night with some of my favorite ladies, I heard from Officer Handsoming. Shocked to see his name appear on my phone, I felt equal parts annoyed and surprised that he’d reach out on Valentine’s Day, since his lack of planning for the holiday ultimately fueled our split.

“Hey. How’d you make it through the snowstorm?” his text read.

“Fine, thanks. Have you had many stabbings and out-of-control ex-boyfriend bonfires to tend to today?” I joked, knowing he was on the clock.

“Not so far, but there’s still time,” he wrote with a wink emoticon. “My schedule changed and I’m no longer working overnight. What are you up to tonight?” Keep reading »

Dater X: Another One Bites The Dust

Dater X: Another One Bites The Dust

Officer Handsoming arrived at my apartment with a carton of chicken noodle soup in one hand and a greasy bag of french fries in the other, unsure which I preferred when nursing a hangover.

How thoughtful, I said to myself while we plopped down on my couch to watch “Silver Linings Playbook.” I cracked open the soup, unwrapped the fries and picked at both, before asking him what his schedule looked like this week. In between bites of his burger, he ran through an endless list of court dates, night shifts, day shifts and apartment searching appointments.

“I noticed you casually skipped right over Valentine’s Day,” I said, playfully.

“I told you, I have to work on Valentine’s Day. And all weekend, for that matter,” he said, his eyes fixed on the TV.

“But still, don’t you want to acknowledge it at all? Maybe next weekend, when you’re off, we can go away and stay in a hotel for a night or something…” I offered.

I knew that this was the beginning of the end. A few minutes later, he broke his silence.

“What’s the matter? You’re mad at me now because I didn’t plan anything for Valentine’s Day, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I’m concerned,” I said matter-of-factly. “About us.” Keep reading »

Dater X: Love On Borrowed Time

Dater X: Love On Borrowed Time
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In between his overnight shifts this weekend, my boyfriend (that’s the first time I’m calling him that, and it’s weird considering he might soon be my ex-boyfriend) called me to check in and see how I was doing. Around Wednesday, I found myself in a bit of an emotional funk, feeling unsettled in pretty much every aspect of my life: my friendships, my relationship and my living situation, to name a few. There’s been a certain lack of stability with each one recently—most notably, the possibility of Officer Handsoming being transferred nearly two hours away for work, which he first warned me about last week.

After I quickly recapped my Friday night and told Officer Handsoming that I was still feeling like there were a bunch of balls up in the air, I took his silence as a sign that he was about to add to the anxiety. Keep reading »

Dater X: I Was Worrying About The Wrong Thing

Dater X: I Was Worrying About The Wrong Thing

Officer Handsoming and I had “the talk.” Well, sort of. I knew that if I didn’t bring up our relationship status soon, my exclusivity limbo anxiety would bubble up inside of me and explode. So, I forced myself to ask.

“I have a question,” I started. “I want you to be honest. Are you seeing other people, or, rather, do you still want to see other people?”

The Oh God, This Conversation Is About To Happen look on his face told me he knew that we were about to embark on a trip to Exclusiveville. Keep reading »

Dater X: Greetings From Exclusivity Limbo

Dater X: Greetings From Exclusivity Limbo

There’s no worse feeling than not knowing. And after Patrick Bateman’s web of lies (which, let’s be honest, will probably haunt me for the rest of my life), I feel the need for constant relationship reassurance. I hate the unanswered questions, and I hate the unknown. Officer Handsoming and I are currently in that unknown, and I don’t like it one bit.

Allow me to set the scene: My friends and I were drinking champagne and decided to go dancing. Despite the fact that I’d already reached my desired level of buzzedness, I gladly accepted the shots of Fireball that the bartender bestowed upon us, even though I knew I’d regret it in the morning. While we were throwing back our whiskey, my chatty girlfriend made nice with a group of guys standing next to us, who were also enjoying some drinks on the house.

“Hi there,” a Leonardo DiCaprio look-a-like said to me, shaking my hand. I shook his hand back, and walked away to check my phone and text Officer Handsoming, who happened to be working an overnight shift. Keep reading »

Dater X: Compatibility Is All In The Details

Dater-X--Compatibility-Is-All-In-The-Details

I’m happy to report that things are, for the first time in a long time, going well in my love life. In fact, they’re really great. Over the last month and a half, Officer Handsoming and I have hit upon pretty much every “getting to know you,” milestone appropriate for a six-week courtship, making this the most “normal” relationship I’ve been in for a long while. He wasn’t rushing to jump into bed with me, he didn’t ghost me after a couple of weeks, and most importantly, he doesn’t seem to exhibit any signs of having another girlfriend (a huge plus after the hell I went through with Patrick Bateman). Keep reading »

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