Tag Archives: date rape

Why Are Politicians Attempting To Redefine Rape?

The “No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act” redefines “real” rape as only that which is “forcible” and has been co-sponsored by 173 mostly Republican legislators and was called a “top priority” by Speaker of the House John Boehner. Likely knowing that fully criminalizing abortion is impossible, politicians are going after the funding of abortions in certain cases of rape and incest. Slipped a roofie and raped while you are unconscious? Raped while you are blackout drunk and unable to consent? Sexually assaulted by your uncle at age 19? If you are poor and need governmental funding to help terminate a pregnancy resulting from this horrific acts, there will be no help for you.

I hope your breakfast is sitting well with you, because you’re about to get queasy if you read on. Keep reading »

11 Women Hospitalized For Spiked Drinks At Washington College Party

Scary times: 11 women were hospitalized after being possibly drugged with “roofies,” the date rape drug, at a Central Washington University college party on Saturday night in Washington state.

Police said 50 people attended an off-campus party and many of them began falling over and passing out after just one or two drinks. “Their level of intoxication just didn’t seem to make sense,” the police chief told CNN Radio. A bottle of vodka may have been spiked with an unknown substance and then distributed to partygoers, cops said, because kids who brought their own alcohol or drank beers from cans were fine. Given how almost all of those hospitalized were women, police say that women may have been targeted — possibly for sexual assault. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: Rape Survivor Responds

In a new feature called “Dear Wendy Updates,” people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Survivor in Indiana,” who was wondering if/how/when she should tell her boyfriend of three months she’d been date raped in her last serious relationship. Did she tell him? Are they still together? How is she doing today? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: What Happened On Prom Night

I shouldn’t even have gone to prom with Bryan. Just a couple of weeks prior he had made out with another girl and told me the purple marks on his neck came from soccer. Like the lovefool that I was, I believed him — until his best friend tattled on him over Instant Messenger. Oh, the acute heartbreak of a first love: I scribbled Ben Harper lyrics — “please bleed so I know that you are real, so I know that you can feel the damage you have done” — on my bedroom wall and devoted pages and pages to this fresh wound in my journal.

Still, I wanted to go on as if none of this had happened. I had just delivered a bouquet of roses to his class on Valentine’s Day. I had just lost my virginity on his bedroom floor while listening to Dave Matthews Band. I had just tanked my grades in Algebra II ditching class with him. What’s more, his mother actually baked casseroles for dinner and grounded him when he flunked AP calculus tests! That is to say they were so blissfully, utterly normal. Given the drinking, prescription drug use and daily acts of familial terrorism at my house, I clung to my first real, serious boyfriend like a life raft. Keep reading »

Kiely Williams Thinks Blacking Out And Having Sex Is “Spectacular”


Kiely Williams — the Disney star who used to be in that beloved-by-tweens girl group, The Cheetah Girls — is a royal dumb-ass. The video for her new single, “Spectacular,” is a tale of a drunken night out which culminates in having sex with a guy whose name she doesn’t remember. (FYI, the video has a couple shots of some bare male booty midway through, so could be NSFW.) Basically, it’s an epic date rape tale set to a groovy dance beat. Now, Williams claims the song and video are her way of bringing attention to a “serious women’s health and safety issue.” She says:
“Young women across the country get intoxicated and have unprotected sex. That’s a fact. I recorded the song to bring attention to this frighteningly prevalent activity. It is absurd to infer or suggest that I am condoning this behavior.”

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The 5 Most Obnoxious Things People Usually Say While Discussing Date Rape

  1. That’s what happens when …

    “That’s what happens” is just another way to say “boys will be boys,” meaning it is another way to level some of the blame on the victim instead of squarely on the perpetrator where it belongs. Saying “that’s what happens” to the victim is dismissive and unust. Sexually assaulted by a drunk guy at a party when you were drunk, too? That’s what happens when you get drunk around a drunk rapist. Sexually assaulted walking home alone at 2a.m.? That’s what happens when you’re out alone in the middle of the night with no one to protect you from a rapist. Sexually assaulted when you were passed out and couldn’t defend yourself? That’s what you get for passing out and not being able to defense yourself from a rapist. You get the ida.

  2. Silence is the same thing as consent, or “Not saying no is the same thing as saying yes.”

    Everyone flips their shizz when anyone suggests that sex should have consent. (Google the words “Antioch college” and “rape” for proof of this.) Somebody — usually the type of woman or man who writes the anti-feminist stuff — immediately overreacts and makes accusations that you’re “ruining” sex by requiring that two people ask each other permission before they do anything together. No, no, and once again, no. No one seriously believes I should have to verbally ask my boyfriend “Can I kiss your lips?”, “Can I unbutton your pants?” or “Can I take out your penis and stroke it?” But there has to be some kind of consent — whether it’s verbal articulation, like “That feels good!” or “Yes, yes!” or just happy noises, like “Mmm!” — for sexual activity to be kosher. Especially during the first, or first couple, of sexual incidents. If I unbuttoned my boyfriend’s pants and started playing with his penis and he did not verbally or physically indicate to me that he liked and wanted to encourage this behavior, I would stop. I have no idea whatsoever why someone would kiss, grope, have sex with, etc. another person who is lying there passively and/or is not fully engaged. He or she not consenting — in fact, it doesn’t sound like they’re at all interested — so why is their sex partner persisting? That is how date rape happens.

Profile Of A Campus Date Rapist

Statistics have shown that most men who commit rape or date rape are known to the victim: friends, friends-with-benefits, boyfriends, husbands, even family members, etc. But even as someone who is attuned to news stories about sexual assault, I was unaware that researchers have gathered more info in the past decade about who these men are, on the college campus, specifically.

For the past two weeks, National Public Radio and the Center for Public Integrity have aired four stories on NPR about how sexual assaults are handled on college campuses in a series called “Seeking Justice For Campus Rapes.” Their most recent story, entitled “Myths That Make It Hard To Stop Campus Rape,” absolutely blew my mind. I had no idea about a 2002 study of men on college campuses in which one in 16 admitted to behavior that meets the definition of rape or date rape and the overwhelming majority of these men were repeat offenders. Keep reading »

Make Your Bed Date Rape-Friendly!

I thought the ickiest things being sold on Etsy were those custom-made vagina portrait necklaces, but I was wrong. Now date rapists can get down to business in comfort and style with one of these super-snuggly Rohypnol pillows, from Etsy retailer GalacticBoutique! But, the seller warns, the pillows are not for consumption, as “they do not contain the necessary mood stablizing [sic] goodness found in controlled substances.” No matter. We’re sure she won’t care — when she wakes up. [Regretsy] Keep reading »

Are Date-Rape Drugs An Urban Myth?

“Date-rape drugs are largely an urban myth used as an excuse by women who booze themselves into a stupor, it has been claimed.”

That’s the first line from an article in today’s Daily Mail, about a new study out of the University of Kent that suggests many women mistake being drunk for being drugged. Of course, there’s more to this story than the “journalists” at the Daily Mail would have you believe. For starters, it’s not that women are using “I was drugged!” as a way of excusing bad drunken behavior, but rather than they may be confusing the side effects of being intoxicated — nausea, dizziness, etc. — with those associated with being roofied. Additionally, a far more comprehensive article in the Telegraph quotes Adam Burgess, of Kent’s School of Social Policy, Sociology and Social Research, as saying, “Young women appear to be displacing their anxieties about the consequences of consuming what is in the bottle on to rumors of what could be put there by someone else.” Keep reading »

When Sex Is A Weapon: Surviving Date Rape

I just found out that my rapist is dead. Not only is he dead, but he ended up killing a lot of women. I always wondered if he would rape again, but I never thought he would graduate to murder.
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